Avoid looking down on children.
Sometimes you may say to your child, "You are so stupid!" Or "Are you a wooden head?" Whenever this contempt for children blurts out, it will damage children's self-esteem and weaken their self-concept.
Second, avoid intimidating children.
Disciplining children with intimidation will also weaken their self-concept. If parents say, "Do it again next time, you will look good!" Or "if you hit your brother again, mom will give you a good beating." Every time children hear these words, they will be afraid and sad, thus generating a sense of fear for their parents.
Three taboos of bribing children
It is not a good idea for some parents to promise their children to buy something if they behave well in school. Such a bribe will trigger the motivation of children to do things from the inside out. He studies not for the good self-concept he has established, but for material rewards. This is not conducive to children to establish a good learning purpose.
Four taboos force children to promise "no next time"
When the child made a mistake, the mother said angrily, "well, now you have to promise me that you will never do this again." After a while, * got sick again, and my mother felt cheated. She scolded angrily, "You promised your mother, so why don't you?" Mothers should know that it is meaningless to make children promise. Commitment and intimidation are a pair. He is my brother and will not play a positive role in children. If you meet a sensitive child, forcing him to agree will make him feel sorry for making mistakes again. Even if the child is not sensitive, it will make the child duplicity.
5. Avoid overprotecting and supervising children.
Excessive protection and supervision of children will dampen their self-concept and weaken their ability to cultivate their autonomy. Because when parents supervise their children's behavior too much, they are actually telling their children: "You can't take care of yourself." Most parents have no confidence in their children's self-care ability. We should take "as long as children can do it themselves, they will never rely on themselves" as our motto. Only in this way can children gradually cultivate their self-care ability.
Six taboos plague children.
Excessive nagging will make children feel that their parents think they have no ability to understand things. Over time, children will feel disgusted and unhappy. In fact, explaining things to children in an orderly way will enhance their self-confidence and self-esteem.
Avoid forcing children to blindly obey others immediately.
If you force your child to leave what he is doing and listen to you to do something else, his reaction will be very unhappy. Parents should remind their children in advance what to do later, such as "you should come in for dinner in about ten minutes!" " At the same time, they can also allow children a little freedom to complain before obeying orders, for example, "Mom, do I have to come in now?" "Simply asking children to obey immediately is ineffective for cultivating independent and self-regulating people.
Eight taboos indulge children.
Overindulgence of children is not conducive to the children themselves. Because sooner or later, children will grow up and go out of society, and some things that work at home are hard to say outside. Therefore, indulging a child will only deprive him of the opportunity to develop his potential ability and hinder him from becoming a capable, independent and self-disciplined person.
Don't discipline children with inconsistent rules.
Some parents make rules at will according to their emotions, and the same behavior is sometimes punished and sometimes let him go. This will confuse the children. Children need you to educate them with a consistent, credible and reliable set of rules.
Don't make rules that are not suitable for children's age.
If you want a two-year-old child to act like a five-year-old child, it will only make him feel incompetent. Because what you expect from him is a level of behavior that he can't reach at his age. This has a very bad influence on his self-concept.