Every mother, when she is a mother for the first time, will be nervous and even afraid. Not only out of love for this child, but also out of ignorance of our human development. It is a kind of pressure that one's life begins to be tied up with another life, and it is necessary to be responsible for another life without knowing what is going on. Some mothers see the light of growth in this darkness and the direction they want to go. But some mothers began to shrink back and give up their rights and responsibilities.
I have seen many mothers let the elderly or aunts take care of their children. There are various reasons for their prevarication. Nothing more than economy, family conflicts, one's own health and so on. I respect the choice of these mothers, and it is not easy to understand. It's just that I feel sad when I face these children. Three years is as important as gold. Buddhism talks about cause and effect, "mortals are afraid of fruit, and bodhisattvas are afraid of cause." When the child reaches a certain age, it will be difficult for you to change that fruit. You need to plant more good causes to bear good results.
A child before the age of 3, who came here from another world, is unfamiliar with everything around him, including his own body, and he doesn't need it. He must first bind a person into his mirror, in which he can see the world and himself. If you don't do a good job in the binding relationship with your child at this time, your child will also look for people who are bound in interpersonal relationships when he grows up.
Usually, children will choose their mother as the object. This is why many mothers feel that they have lost their self, their hands and feet are bound and they have no freedom before their children are 3 years old. But please firmly believe that this process is necessary and short-lived for children. Enjoy this time, pay enough, and the children will be separated from you well. You get along with him with love, joy and infinite curiosity. This relationship will be a warm time to remember in your life.
Second, everything you did before the age of 3 can't see the effect immediately, it is slowly released in your life.
Some people may read the last one and say, "It's not that serious. Many children in our community are brought by nannies brought by the elderly 24 hours a day. All are sunny and healthy. Go when it is time to go, and jump when it is time to jump. If you have no memory before the age of 3, you will learn nothing. Anyway, it is a long body, it doesn't matter. " Well, I can't convince you with your naked eye answers. As professional teachers, we can feel the state of children through the feelings of the gas field, but it is difficult to describe.
Education is to teach to be a man first, and then to do things. But the former is much longer than the latter. In this impetuous era of quick success and instant benefit, we can't wait and don't know how to call people. So we turn to things that are easier to see good and bad, teach children some skills and show some talents. Our education has trained too many skilled experts and too many machines for honor, but few people have found their own mission and used their inner strength to complete the mission of going deep into the soul and entering the bone marrow. Before the age of 3, before the age of 6, it is such a moment that you can't see the results quickly, but it is extremely important to cultivate a strong and flexible self. The main caregivers must have a firm idea and understanding of education in order to persist.
Third, before the age of 3, children need physical sensory feelings, not thinking.
Children before the age of 3 are learning in pictures, and their development energy should be used in action rather than thinking. This law is very important for China's current impatient social education.
This kind of thinking is not what we usually understand about learning knowledge, but a broader one, including telling the truth and telling the truth that children have not formed abstract words that they cannot understand through their own experience.
For example, "there are additives in this thing, which will make you sick." What is an additive? How bad is the law? These are all incomprehensible to children. His first reaction after hearing this was to taste it. So what should we do? Adults decide by their actions, which is a sense of authority in the family. If the mother doesn't buy it, the child will naturally not eat it. The education of reason, the education of controlling children by violence and the education of giving children unlimited freedom and fear of trouble are all the same. It is lazy education, and it is an energy vent for adults who have no choice.
I have seen too many children lose the courage to try new things. They all say the same thing: "It's dangerous", "You'll catch cold when you get wet" and "A good baby won't jump" ... Faced with these, I can only sigh deeply. It is really important for children to explore freely before the age of 3 under the premise of ensuring that children will not be greatly hurt.
Fourth, before the age of 3, children need your reliable love, not too much material.
Walking in the street, I saw the children dressed more and more beautifully and the toys in their hands became more and more fashionable. But the voice I often hear in my ears is "I have this at home, don't you?" "I asked my mother to buy one, hum." People's desires are the easiest to expand and rise, and the faster they are satisfied, the easier it is to lose their sense of satisfaction, and the satisfaction of external material is endless.
What we see is that the fuller and more natural a child's inner love is, the less he needs external things. The gift from my mother can make up for my inner guilt, but it can't replace the lack of companionship and maternal love. On the contrary, family education that can be controlled materially, live with heart and care for children with heart can best nourish children's inner self. Reduce material giving and increase spiritual communication.
Before the age of five or three, children learn by their own strong absorption and imitation ability, and we have nowhere to hide.
There is a saying in China that children before the age of 3 have no memory, which makes many people think that they only need to take care of children before the age of 3, and other children don't understand. If so, nature's theory of evolution would be ridiculous, wasting three years of essence time. As a human being above animals, is he really that imbecile?
In fact, in these three years, for human beings, God gave us the most magical treasure, that is, the super sensory organs, which enabled us to absorb and imitate. Have you found that children around the age of two did not learn to speak at that time, but learned to speak by talking to themselves and repeatedly absorbing and imitating every night? Similarly, children understand and learn other things in this way.
What's even more amazing is that when you really want to have a rest and push the child away, the child will stick to you even more, as if he understands that you want to push his mind away instead of leaving. I often advise stay-at-home mothers not to invite aunts. Our bodies are getting lazy, which will affect our children and make them too self-centered. If the mother often has nothing to do, the child will be "mom!" Mom! "I asked you to fill your heart. And when the mother is really busy and tells the child what I am doing, you can wait for a while or come and do it with me, and the child will often agree. This is because children's powerful sensory organs can touch our inner being, who we become, not what we do.
If you don't like some aspect of the person with children at home, don't let him take care of your children, because children will come sooner or later. If you don't like something about yourself, try to practice and improve it on the basis of accepting yourself, otherwise children can't avoid this cycle.
6. Before the age of 3, children have all possible opportunities. What you need to do is to grow yourself.
All education will be self-education. We can't change others unless he wants to change himself. We can only provide moderate help and wait patiently.
But what we can decide is ourselves. Are we willing to change?
Are we willing to spend time and energy?
Where is our own life going?
Our growth is the cornerstone of children's feet, and children will rest on this stone and see farther.