At the beginning of the video, the child tried to close the door quietly and was stopped by his mother (why do you have to close the door). After a stalemate of two minutes and eight seconds, the mother finally agreed to give the little girl a quiet time, but only if the door was not closed. The little girl went to bed sad and tired, but soon lay down on her side, leaving her parents with a back.
From this video, we can learn that in the eyes of parents, children should recognize and admit their mistakes (after oral admission, they should also review them in writing); After that, you have to accept punishment (by hand) and can't resist; Finally, if you want to be quiet, you can, but you can't close the door. In a word, everything needs to be done according to the instructions, otherwise the attitude is not correct.
In the eyes of the little girl, she has realized that she was wrong, admitted her mistake, learned a lesson and corrected it. Why do parents still think her attitude is incorrect? Why do parents still think she hasn't corrected her mistake? Why don't parents want to give her a moment's silence? Why do parents turn a blind eye to all her efforts to make mistakes? Why have parents always been firm with her?
After analysis, we found that the parents in the video are more demanding, more obedient and absolutely obedient to their children. Otherwise, it is sophistry and should be punished. As parents, we are people who want to teach you how to be a man.
Next, let's take a look at the performance of the children in the video. We didn't blindly ask our parents what to do, but asked them again and again. At the same time, she is also trying to express her inner doubts to her parents with her extremely limited vocabulary. Why don't you understand what I'm saying? I've tried my best to express it. Please listen to my voice. I want to close the door and be quiet. Why are you still pushing me after I did it? )
Parents are the guardians of their children, and it is a great responsibility to educate them. But education does not use imposing manner to suppress children, let alone use authority to force children to obey. Although children are born to their parents, they are not their private property. Like their parents, they are all independent social people. They also need respect and listening.
If parents encounter such a situation, they may wish to pause for three seconds and think calmly: Why should children talk back to you? Why are children getting more and more emotional? Take out the reason that adults should have and control their emotions. In another three seconds, take the lead in reflection: is there something wrong with your attitude and tone, do you really respect your children, and do you really listen to their voices?
In fact, the little girl in the video is more expressive than her peers. In such an emotional situation, she can still express her thoughts clearly, and her wording is quite appropriate and polite. But the expression again and again is always ignored by parents. Finally, I became more and more angry and disappointed.
In this case, it is suggested that parents can "win" their children from the following points:
First, parents should show their recognition, understanding and concern for their children's feelings after they make mistakes and are wronged. If they can feel the same way, that's the best. People are emotional. What people want most is the understanding of others. What's more, children! Understanding is the first step to smooth communication.
Second, with the understanding of the first step, the child's mood will gradually ease and be much calmer. At this time, as a parent, you can express your true feelings at this moment to your child. For example, how do you feel when you see them sad and angry? At this time, you will find that children will listen very carefully.
Third, after the first two steps, the child's heart has been opened to you. At this step, you can express your needs and hopes. For example, what do you want to see your children, what kind of relationship do you want, and so on.
Finally, with hope ahead, you can express your requirements to your children. For example, what do you need your child to do, how hard you will work with her, how you will help her, and so on.
Education is a kind of practice. Education means that parents need self-education rather than children need parental education.