"Baby, listen, there are already many cars at home, so don't buy any more." "I said don't buy, don't buy, you go or not? If you don't go, I'll go by myself. You can squat here alone. " "Well, I am afraid of you. This is the last time to buy you a car. " Many parents are no strangers to such a scene. Children's strong desire to buy is a headache for many parents. So what should parents do when children and parents always ask for things when they go out? Scene reappearance 1 compromise due to human feelings. Ms. Li is the mother of a 4-year-old child. Whenever a supermarket child insists on buying toys, she always gives in first. "My daughter is very stubborn. She cried if she didn't buy it. Listening to the child's crying, she felt unbearable and finally bought it. " When Mr. Liang, a citizen, meets his 6-year-old son, crying in public and playing tricks to buy things, he often agrees to the child's request out of affection. Comments: It is not conducive to cultivating awareness of rules. "With the first time, there will be a second time, which is not conducive to cultivating children's awareness of rules." Chen Jinju, a teacher at Guangxi Preschool Education College, said. If children cry or cheat, it is easy for parents to compromise, and parents will gradually lose their prestige when educating their children in the future. Scene reproduction 2 children crying parents are difficult to pull. "When a child cries, parents will indulge and spoil a bad child. After several times, the child will take advantage of the loophole and get what he wants in a way that he has successfully practiced. " Ms. Fang said that when the child was crying in the street to buy something, she always pulled the child away. Comments: It is easy to leave trauma. Zhu Haijun, principal of Nanning Qitian Education Wisdom Source School, thinks that Ms. Fang's education method is too simple and rude, so the children educated will show more rebellion and stubbornness than other children. "When children roll around and cry for their favorite items, parents can't compromise, but at the same time, they should give their children equality and respect." Zhu Haixi said, "It is really quick to take the child away and keep him away from the toy stall, but it will leave the child with inner trauma. Most children's problems will break out in adolescence. Those children who can't get equality and respect will be very rebellious in adolescence, can't get good guidance, and even go astray. " Experts support the ABC principle of equality and respect. Lu Na, a teacher from Nanning Qitian Education Guilin Center, thinks that parents might as well try the ABC principle. If parents ask their children at any time according to their own preferences, the children will of course be "chaotic"; Only by setting standards can we determine whether children are "spending money indiscriminately". A: It was agreed in advance. For example, when going to the supermarket, parents and children make an agreement before going out, and what parents can only buy and what children can only buy will be discussed before going out. This agreement should be based on the principle of not hurting others or interfering with others. Luna reminded parents that when making an agreement with their children before doing something, they must do it on the premise of respecting equality, and they should not impose their wishes on their children just because of adults' ideas and purchasing power. For example, you can discuss with your child what he wants to buy most, what he really needs, what is already at home, and there is no need to buy any more. After such an equal and democratic discussion, children will abide by the agreement with their parents. B: Just a reminder. If an agreement has been reached, it must be resolutely implemented. When children encounter something they want to buy that is not planned, they may forget the agreement with their parents and clamor for it. At this time, parents should remind their children: "We agreed that we can only buy XX, not others." Luna reminded that children will constantly try to touch their parents' bottom line, which is the time for parents to establish prestige in their children's hearts. Therefore, no matter what reason the child has, as long as it is not within the agreed scope, parents should stick to the original agreement. In addition, parents should set an example themselves, and don't buy anything outside the agreed scope when visiting the supermarket. C: summing up afterwards. For example, when coming home from the supermarket, parents can say to their children, "Today, the baby saw a favorite toy in the supermarket and wanted to buy it, but he held back and kept the agreement with his parents. It's great for the baby to do this! Now let's discuss, is it really necessary to buy the baby's favorite toys? Do you want to buy it next time? " ABC principle applies not only to parents and children when shopping, but also to daily life. Luna said that in normal times, parents can let their children form agreed habits at home. If you agree with your child that you can only watch 15 minutes of TV every day, then turn off the TV and cultivate your child's habit of observing the agreement from small things. He Laoshi of China Gestalt Education Guangxi Branch also believes that the child's strong desire to buy must be caused by the unsatisfied part of his psychology. It is more important for children's growth to find the unsatisfied psychological needs behind material pursuit and meet them. "Sometimes children have to buy something in order to prove their importance to their parents and make them pay more attention to him. What parents should do is to find out which needs of children are not met in the process of interacting with them. For example, parents should examine themselves: Do they pay enough attention to their children? In addition, parents should accept their children's preferences for certain things and understand their children's need to buy things they like. For example, if children especially like cherries, but parents really can't meet every need of their children, they can say to their children, "Mom knows you like cherries very much. Cherry looks beautiful, tastes sour and sweet, and tastes good, but cherries are too expensive. If we always buy them, mom will feel a little stressed. Let's find a way to let the baby eat delicious cherries and make everyone happy, shall we? "Parents can reach an agreement with their children through sensibility and understanding, such as eating only once a month or the price range. Let the children understand slowly and continue to do as agreed.