A harmonious family is undoubtedly the foundation of parenting education. No matter how harmonious parents are, it is normal that men and women have different personalities and different perspectives on the issue of educating their children. Be consistent in front of children and give them clear guidance and direction.

In family education, what is the effect of parents' disagreement in front of their children?

First, if parents disagree in front of their children, the children will not know who to listen to and will be at a loss. After a long time, the child's personality will be very contradictory and will not have an opinion.

Second, when one side is educating the children and the other side raises different opinions in front of the children, it is inevitable that the two sides will quarrel and argue because of face. This will not only solve the children's problems, but also make them rebellious towards one side and more dependent on the other. No matter which side children prefer, the harmonious family triangle will be destroyed.

For example, the father of the child wants to take the child out to play, and the mother says that it is not allowed to play until the homework is finished. Father thinks it is inefficient for children not to play, so it is better to go out and relax. Both of them wanted to have the final say in front of the children, so they quarreled. At this time, the child will feel that his father is good to himself, will have a problem with his mother, and will make the relationship between mother and child tense.

Third, parents openly disagree with each other's views in front of their children, which will make them feel insecure or feel guilty because of quarreling. These will affect the child's personality.

The survey results show that one of the things that children fear most is that their parents quarrel. Frequent disputes in front of children will make children feel insecure. If the cause is education, it will make him feel confused and guilty. In the long run, children will become introverted, inferior and easy to blame themselves.

I have a friend whose children are always inattentive to their homework. On one occasion, the child's father helped the child with his homework, but the child didn't write carefully, so the father hit the child in a rage. She held the child in her arms and quarreled with her father. She wants to divorce the father of the child until the neighbors come.

She said, "You said to agree in front of the children. If I agree with him, he will kill the children. "

So, how can we maintain consensus in front of children and avoid conflicts?

First of all, parents reach an agreement on major principles, and they should not touch each other's bottom line when educating their children. For example, in educating children, you can't hit them or say anything that hurts their self-esteem.

Just like the above example, the child is the mother's heart, and hitting the child is naturally unacceptable to every mother. Children's parents should reach an agreement on these principled issues in advance and set their own bottom line, so that the other party will pay attention to discretion in communication with their children and will not hurt the feelings of husband and wife.

Second, if one party does not educate the children properly, the other party should not point it out on the spot and communicate privately to solve it. For things that your partner mishandles, you should deal with your child in time to avoid misunderstandings and enhance the feelings between your child and your parents.

For example, rabbit dad used to joke with his children and say, "If you go out and run around, we won't want you." During that time, the rabbit went out to play with us and always followed us closely, afraid to go far and didn't care.

Later, I found out that I had a serious discussion with the rabbit's father and told him that the child was very insecure and would be timid in the future, feeling that he might be abandoned by his parents at any time. Rabbit's father also knows that he is wrong. Later, he explained it to the rabbit. The rabbit knows that his father is teasing him, and he also puts down the burden in his heart and plays happily.

If I accuse the rabbit father in front of the children, the result may be counterproductive. Mistakes should be said in private, and praise should be said in front of children.

Third, when you encounter some problems that no one can convince, you can consult experienced people, learn relevant books and make progress together. On the way to parenting, we are all students, and we all need to grow up with our children.

In short, in family education, parents should communicate in time, establish a "United front" and give their children a cheerful personality and a sunny attitude.