Recently, I always read articles saying that I want to "Buddha" to raise my baby.

Many similar articles, like all kinds of poisonous chicken soup, talk about the benefits of "Buddha" in raising babies.

Even the recent hit TV series Xiao Shede and Grow Up with You seem to convey the message that chicken education and advanced education have many disadvantages, which even drive children crazy and affect their mental health. The solution is to let parents let go, let their children develop freely and learn to be a Buddhist mother.

This sounds reasonable, just let children study happily and receive normal education happily. But have you ever thought that in a country with a lot of involution and anxiety, do you dare to raise a baby calmly and "Buddha"?

By studying some educational psychology materials, you will find that parenting is a university question. In educating children, congenital factors cannot be ignored. Most children are lazy, and most children have poor self-control ability. Have you ever thought about the consequences of "Buddhism" at this time?

If a mother is a Buddhist, but she has raised a particularly excellent child, congratulations, you are very lucky. You are all lucky. Those parents have raised excellent children only by relying on the omnipotence of education. Because you have a child with strong self-discipline and self-control ability.

But not every mother is so lucky.

People who have studied educational psychology should know that children's moral development stage is a gradual transition from heteronomy to self-discipline.

What's more, in the current situation of our country, involution and anxiety surround parents all the time. In this case, there are no calm Buddhist parents.

Give a more sensitive example:

For example, rich people who have achieved wealth freedom, you have to admit that their children were born in a place that ordinary children can't catch up with all their lives. Of course, these parents can be Buddhists. This group of people is only a minority, which is an example.

But for the children of ordinary families, it may take several generations of efforts to leap into the rich areas, and reading is the best way and means they can think of. Especially in the exam-oriented education under the current score theory. Crazy chicks are middle-class families, afraid that they will not jump into the rich areas, but will fall into the days of worrying about lack of money. Do you think they dare to believe in Buddhism? And this part of the people tend to be the majority, which is a general rule.

For some children from poor families, parents' cognition may be so low that you can't even imagine what Buddhism is, let alone raising a baby in Buddhism.

Just put on the cloak of "Buddhism" and educate and manage children in different ways.

This so-called "Buddha" has the same purpose as Jiwa. It is to educate children to be honest, independent, motivated and motivated to pursue happiness.

Therefore, don't think that you should become a Buddhist mother just because others say that "Buddhist" mothers cultivate excellent children. Also said that Jiwa's children are better. Go and see the students from famous universities such as Peking University and Tsinghua. Some of them were brought in by parents' Buddhism and children's free development.

The ideal is full, the reality is skinny, and the child's future success needs many conditions. It is precisely because of this that it is more important for children to have a sound personality and a good attitude. And these are not what you can let your children have by calming down the "Buddha system."

No parents dare to gamble on their children's future. What's more, I was influenced by all kinds of "Buddhist" stories about raising a baby online, so I went to the "Buddhist" to gamble on raising a baby.

Maybe someone wants to kill Yao at this time? Then you say Buddhism is not good, maybe chicken baby will do?

Of course not, children's personalities are also very different, and the omnipotence of education and innate determinism are not desirable and need specific analysis.

Why does Dayao always say here, don't be brainwashed by various Buddhist arguments on the Internet? There are two reasons:

1. After reading all kinds of Buddhist arguments about raising a baby, I suddenly turned around and found that I couldn't raise a baby. Because it doesn't belong to others, it must be suitable for you and your children. If you blindly look at others and learn from others, you will ignore what is more suitable for you. Even in the end, you will find that you don't know how to take care of the baby.

Personally, I think this "Buddhism" is too difficult to master. An excellent child, some parents really can't do anything about it, and it's entirely the child's own innate talent.

Others, like Buddhism mentioned in many chicken soup articles, respect children's freedom and guide them slowly. At this time, I believe that parents will encounter such a situation:

First, children should rely on their own efforts to get guidance from their parents, and then grow up healthily on a normal track.

The second is: Either the child is not a person with strong self-control and self-discipline. According to your child's situation, what you need at this time is the guidance and coercion of your parents to make up for your child's congenital deficiency. Don't they call it Buddhism? They also respect children and give them enough freedom. They just adapt to local conditions and vary from person to person, and add more ways to educate their children.

Therefore, in the case of such serious involution and anxiety in China, there is no such thing as a calm "Buddha" to raise a baby, but only a concrete analysis of specific problems. It is too difficult to be a Buddhist parent in our country. The big environment is like this. In other foreign environments, parents may naturally become true Buddhists.

In Dayao's view, we all need empathy, respect, understanding and tolerance on the way of raising children, whether it is Buddhism or chicken baby. We need to consider the problem from each other's perspective. Children are respected, naturally willing to communicate more and think like mothers. The essence of education is empathy in the heart. Everything starts from the heart, and the internal driving force is strong. If you educate your children in your mind, many things will naturally follow.

Topic of this issue: What do you think of Buddhist mothers?