You may think that children are always disobedient, their academic performance is too poor, they are too naughty and ungrateful, and so on. You feel that you are not a "good father/mother", and you feel that you can't educate your children well. But it's hard for you to accept that you have such a strong sense of frustration, so you subconsciously transfer your emotions to your children. You think it's all children who don't cooperate with themselves that will lead to the present situation. And that doesn't ease the problems between you and your children.
When you feel too much frustration from your child, you can try to give yourself a little care, comfort this injured self and affirm your value as a parent.
For example, you can put your hands together and say to yourself, "I can feel that you are very disappointed in your child at the moment and really want to give him up." You're disappointed in yourself too. You don't think you can be a good parent. I believe many parents in the world feel the same way. You can try to recall a moment when you were very proud of your children, and you got unspeakable happiness from them. Those moments make you very satisfied with your parents' role. So you can't deny the value that children bring to you, and you can't easily deny your value as a parent. "
2. Adjust expectations for children. Japan once filmed a documentary called "Seven Years of Life", which tracked the children of 13 ordinary families, from 7 to 28 years old.
At the age of 28, these children are not as successful and high-spirited as their parents imagined, but wear ordinary clothes, do ordinary jobs, live an ordinary life and worry about some daily chores.
Among them, children with good conditions, although living an ordinary life, find their own value, do what they like and have the courage to pursue their goals.
Therefore, you should see that most children will eventually become ordinary, and ordinary life does not mean unhappiness. You can expect your children to be excellent, but you should also consider it. If the worst happens, can you accept it?
You want your child to get good grades, but the child can't help the wall and always fails the exam; You want your child to be admitted to a key university, but in the end, the child is only admitted to an ordinary university, or even not.
3. Give your child unconditional love. What you can do is to adjust your high expectations for your children and change your mentality. Think about it, even if the child is ordinary, can you love and support him as always? And your unconditional love will be perceived by children, so that children can feel your support and respect for him, so that they are more willing to be close to you.
On the contrary, if you always treat your child with the attitude that "you are a good child if you meet the standards in my heart", your child will feel that your love is conditional, and it is difficult for him to let go of his guard and act according to what you think in the process of getting along with you.