Parents not only have to go to work to earn money, but also have to suffer, suffer indignities and be involved when they go home, so they can finally have a rest. But when they get home, they have to take on the role of family, washing clothes, cooking, managing housework and socializing ... and they have to accompany their children and help them with their homework. If they encounter endless manual work, long and complicated homework, and the children don't cooperate, it's simply. In this case, it is difficult to switch people's states. You can stick to your will in the short term. But if you are tired during the day and go home hard, long-term accumulation will turn into pain and impact everyone's will. We just need a chance to convince ourselves. For example, if children cry and are away from home on business trips, there will be a breakthrough, and we will gradually reduce our requirements for ourselves and our children, so that we will become limited or let ourselves go. This is not shirking responsibility, it is caused by practical difficulties. The consequences of this dilemma are also obvious:
1. Get lazy. I like making excuses for myself. When I got home, a friend entertained me the day before yesterday. I worked late yesterday. I'm tired of tidying up the housework today. I've been so tired recently. I don't want to do anything. How to save trouble? I will give my children anything they want. I want to watch TV. I want to play with my mobile phone. As long as the children don't get into trouble and can finish their homework, and the teacher doesn't look for me, everything is fine, and the ability will be cultivated later.
2. Lack of patience. Find reasons to get rid of the complicated demands made by children. Before, I made a dinosaur in a cardboard box for my children. The children loved it and threw it away after breaking it. Later, children want to do it again, always looking for various reasons to shirk it. Because the child does not cooperate or does not meet expectations, for example, the child does something wrong and has no patience to guide. I like to restrain children in an imperative tone. Although it is simple and effective at first, it will do great harm after a long time.
3. Pressure transfer. When work is not going well or you are in a bad mood, you will unconsciously take it out on your children, because a little problem or a little out of line, such as disobedience, not sleeping when you should sleep, soiling clothes and the ground, will lead to great anger.
Everyone's time and energy are limited, and with the growth of age, the burden on his shoulders is getting heavier and heavier, and he is even more stretched. With the growth of children's age, their horizons and activities are expanding, and various needs and requirements are increasing. It is becoming more and more difficult to achieve and guide, and sometimes it is difficult to strike a balance between the two, so that some problems have arisen:
1. Frequent urging. Either because of anxiety or impatience with children's various requirements, they frequently urge children not to meditate and cultivate habits. For example, when the child goes to bed at night, we simply wash and go to bed. As for the children, we wash our feet slowly, drink water, go to the toilet and tell stories, so we are exhausted by patience and yell at us. can you hurry up a little ? There are countless examples of this.
2. Rude refusal. At first, I was interested in answering the strange questions raised by my children. As the question became more and more difficult to answer, I chose silence and even refused to answer. Unreasonably asking children to eat sugar directly refuses to finish, and does not pay attention to guidance.
3. Lack of careful observation. Children's mood every day, what changes, what it looks like to enter the door, what they like recently, what they think, what they say and what they dream, all of which have not been carefully experienced and thought about.
4. Forced to educate every generation. Due to the pressure of time and energy and the influence of traditional ideas, it is difficult to develop good living habits, hygiene habits and learning methods.
Social progress puts forward higher requirements for human growth. When we were young, we didn't have the internet and didn't have much knowledge. We put more emphasis on academic qualifications. At present, in a society with highly developed information, knowledge is updated quickly, more in ability, especially in having a variety of abilities, such as independent thinking ability, innovative creativity, practical ability, emotional control ability and so on. This first puts higher demands on us as parents. We may not have much ability and a lot of knowledge. How to do a good job in tutoring and cultivating children under the scissors difference between existing ability and realistic requirements is an extremely test for us.
1. High demands on children. Knowing that other people's children are so excellent has also raised the standards of their own children. They may not be excellent, but to cultivate excellent children, they must learn well and know a little about their talents and specialties. Children's burden is getting bigger and bigger, they are getting unhappy, and their simple eyes are getting more and more complicated.
2. There is no learning direction. In today's society, children's education is placed in a more prominent position, especially family education. We are learning all kinds of knowledge actively or passively. However, in the era of information explosion, parenting and educational knowledge are flying all over the sky, and various educational concepts are uneven, and some are even completely contradictory. You can choose which one is suitable for children, but which one is not completely suitable. Who should I listen to and where should I go? People are at a loss, just decide.
3. Can't set an example. We often can't self-discipline, and we don't do what our children are asked to do first. Without in-depth thinking, how to impress and infect children with their own words and deeds often becomes various oral education and requirements, turning words and deeds into preaching and setting an example for others.
Long-term uncertainty limits our initiative. Although we all know that children's education is very important and the wrong way does great harm to children, we often spend a lot of time, energy and financial resources to test whether we can stick to it because we can't see the final effect.
1. Missing target. We often don't know what we want to bring up our children. It can only be a general concept, such as better, more capable, higher quality or better than me. We don't know what kind of person we want to raise our children.
2. Lack of planning. I don't always plan my life and do what I want to do. Even if I make plans, they are mostly short-term plans. It is difficult to make some long-term plans from the child's growth process. There is a plan, but it can't be implemented well because of children's low interest, external factors and conditions. For example, in order to urge children to learn, we have formulated daily expressions and seals that children like, but they have never been implemented.
3. Lack of persistence. Originally, the plan was good. We asked our children what to do today and what to do tomorrow. However, once the children don't cooperate and are influenced by external factors, we can easily change the plan and can't stick to it well.
To sort out these problems and difficulties, we mainly want to find the root of the problem subjectively, and then prescribe the right medicine, make targeted corrections, improve ourselves, and really be competent for the role of parents.