For example, they say that children are not required to do homework, but they think that children can finish homework without asking. They don't really accept children's behavior of not doing homework. There are no restrictions on children's test scores, but I hope that children can consciously achieve good results. Once the grades are poor, it's like the sky is falling. For children, this false randomness is more harmful than the lack of freedom. Probably like meeting a real villain, a real villain. The real villain can fight with him, but the real villain makes you want to talk to you but you can't. You are often forced out to influence.
False enlightened parents, some parents of injured children seem to be democratic and enlightened on the surface, and many things will be left to the children. In fact, parents have already preset the answer before letting their children make a choice. Once the answer is different from their expectation, they may refuse. Come out to eat, make the children want to eat. Children want to eat hamburgers, parents feel unsanitary, take their children to Chinese restaurants; Choose interest training classes. If children want to learn drum sets and parents feel that the electronic piano is stronger, they sign up for piano classes. When going out to buy clothes, children want to buy black ones, and parents think they are too young and mature to buy bright red ones for their children.
If this happens more frequently, the child will give up what she insists on, because she has a kind of "it's useless for me to say it anyway, so why choose?" So in the end, when you ask your child what all the answers are "whatever", parents will tell strangers that "this child has no idea." "I have made up my mind for my children, but ta says' whatever'. I was very angry when I heard that. You still need to tell me when you buy clothes. " False enlightened parents and children who pretend to be sensible, traditional China parents are generally persistent and xenophobic, pretending to be enlightened intermittently. It can be regarded as an "understanding" of corpse change, but it only moves a person's "enlightenment".
Xiaoli, a good friend, talked about her own experience: she was under great mental pressure, and her parents accompanied her to the movies, but she didn't say anything with her classmates before, fearing that her parents would be chilling; In the third year of high school, my mother euphemistically said that she wanted her to play Lego for a while to release the pressure. The conclusion came back after only playing for five minutes, so she should not be tired of playing. Mother gave him nourishing hairy eggs. Although she didn't like them very much, she smiled and said "delicious" to her mother. These things are fresh in my memory. Once he resisted, my mother said, I rely on you for everything. Why don't I understand? When Xiaoli grew up, she never said anything or resisted.
The worst teaching method is this. Parents pretend to be enlightened and children pretend to be obedient. Parents feel that they know their children very well, but in their children's hearts, "they are always thinking of themselves, seemingly open-minded, but in fact they are persistent and want to listen to him." Self-righteous parents never know their children. Although everyone has nothing to say, their hearts are far apart. I thought about running away for the second time, but I didn't want to make them sad. "Parents sometimes fall into selfless selfishness. What is selflessness and selfishness? But I know you do it for my own good, and I just want to escape, that is, you try your best to make something that is not what I want.