Ways and means for parents to educate their children to be human: respect their children? Sophistication? -Feedback effect
Whenever parents point out their children's mistakes, children always find many reasons to prove their innocence.
At this time, parents usually angrily scold their children for this behavior? Sophistication? In fact, this is not sophistry, but a kind of feedback from children to their parents' education.
Education is a two-way street. Parents should not only teach, but also accept children's feedback, so that education can achieve the most perfect effect.
However, many parents are not aware of this. They only care about themselves? Teaching? I don't care about children's feedback at all. Such education often fails to achieve the purpose that parents want.
Method 2: Analyze and respect children's feedback.
When children give feedback on our education, we should first analyze the children's feedback.
Of course, this analysis is not only aimed at children's language, but also includes children's movements and expressions.
But whether it is children's feedback or not, it deserves parents' attention. Sophistication? Be sure to respect your child's feedback.
In the above educational cases, when children say? Do the children in our class say so? Be reasonable;
The mother yelled at her child without analyzing her feedback. Is this a sign of disrespect for children's feedback?
So, the mother doesn't know if the child's feedback is true-don't you think so? Are you stupid? This is a dirty word.
It is conceivable that parents misunderstand and suppress their children's feedback. In the long run, children will never give positive feedback to their mothers' education.
Without children's cooperation, parents can't educate their children.
Method 3: Educate children purposefully according to their feedback.
When analyzing the problems of children's feedback, parents can carry out purposeful education on children's feedback.
For example, if children don't know the importance of politeness when giving feedback, parents will never do this again. Examples can be used.
Tell the truth and the importance of being polite, and guide children to be polite good children.
If the child's feedback is that he doesn't want to know the responsibility caused by his recent wrong words and deeds, parents should isolate the child and let him become a person who knows his mistakes and corrects them.
In short, no matter what feedback children have on their parents' education, respecting and analyzing children's feedback is the primary prerequisite for achieving educational goals.
Method 4: Family education should not be inconsistent-Watch Theorem
Psychologists have done an experiment: give a person a watch, and when someone asks him the time, he can tell it quickly and confidently.
However, when the man got two different watches, the watchmaker could not know the time quickly.
Because two watches can't tell a person a more accurate time, on the contrary, it will make people who look at the watch lose confidence in the accurate time.
Psychologists call this phenomenon? Watch phenomenon? , and thus draw a conclusion:
There can only be one guiding principle or value orientation in doing things. Later people called this conclusion? Watch theorem? .
Foreign methods of educating children to behave.
America: Give priority to children.
American parents believe that children need more respect besides nutrition and knowledge. Because they are an independent individual from the day they were born. When talking to children, American parents never stand on it, but communicate with their children equally. When children refuse to eat, American parents never force them, but euphemistically say, Look, radish pie is waiting for you. If you don't eat it, it will be unhappy. Parents seldom blame their children when they do something wrong, but say:? I don't think you did it on purpose. You won't do it next time. ? Children who want to change clothes rarely say in an imperative tone:? Put on this white one. ? But in a consultative tone: Do you see through this white one, or do you wear that yellow one to give your child a choice? Take your child out to play. If the host gives something, American parents won't answer it for their children in advance like most parents in China. He won't eat? 、? He doesn't want it? And so on, but by the children. Of course, this does not mean that all children's needs have been met. Parents usually explain and explain what the host does not provide and what the child wants. For example, when a child wants the precious plaything of the host family, parents will tell the child that everyone has something he likes, and we can't ignore the feelings of others because of our own needs, so that the child can understand the truth of interacting with others. Many parents in China like it? Former godson? I often accuse and scold my children for being disappointing, stupid, worthless, etc. In front of others. In the United States, parents think it is a crime, because accusing children in public greatly hurts their self-esteem.
England: Give your child a chance to fail, son.
In the process of growth, it is inevitable that there will be failures. If the child is young, China's parents will laugh it off, try to help him get rid of the problem, or simply let the child give up.
British parents don't think so. Mike's son Charlie is 10 years old this year. The little boy can not only take care of his daily life, repair the water pipes and appliances at home, but also repair the car. In China, this knowledge may not be understood by young men in their twenties.
The first time Charlie did something was when he was 2 years old. He watched Mike do the dishes curiously. So Mike carried Charlie to the pool. Charlie jumped into the pool at once and began to work. This is washing dishes, and it is also equivalent to taking a bath. The clothes and trousers are all wet, and the bowl is not cleaned, but one of them is broken.
Mike didn't stop him He stood by and watched Charlie's every move. At first, Charlie was still laughing. Slowly, he felt that it was not funny at all. He was covered with oil and cold water stuck to him. He looked at Mike as if he were asking for help. Mike sticks his head out of the window. Finally, he couldn't help crying. Only then did Mike take him out, put on clean clothes and put them by the sink. Then, under Charlie's gaze, he washed the dishes one by one. Then, put Charlie's toy bowl and chopsticks in the pool.
Charlie washed the toy bowls and chopsticks this time, and his clothes were only half wet. The third time, only the sleeves were a little wet. Mike taught him how to wash dishes, and Charlie became better and better.
Mike's idea is simple: give children a chance to fail, face failures again and again, correct their mistakes until they succeed. This is not only to teach children to learn and master their own abilities, but also to teach them an attitude towards life. ?
Australia: Teaching children the ability to survive
Children from wealthy families in Sydney are usually sent by their parents to learn sailing when they are young. The coach often stops the boat in shallow water, and the bottom of the boat will inevitably be covered with sand. The job of a cat's head is to clean it with a rag and water. 1 1 years old, he squatted on a boat and worked in the sun for six hours every day for a whole summer vacation, and his mother would not stop him because of his distress. Because in her mind, the cat head has the right and the ability to arrange his own time. Fish always dozes off in class and asks him why. He proudly said: I deliver newspapers in the community from 5 am to 7 am every Thursday, and I can earn 14 yuan once! ? The other boys in the class are envious. The teacher suggested that the fish student transfer his job to another boy: you can just give him 12 yuan, and earn two yuan if you don't work. Who knows, but he said disapprovingly: Why? I can earn 14 yuan, why only two yuan?
From the point of view of parents in China, we will never allow this to happen: what should we do if we let our children go to the shoal to clean the boat, except for accidents? What should I do if I can't study hard in order to earn 14 yuan in class? However, parents in Sydney don't think so. They think it is most important to cultivate children's ability, not how much specific knowledge they have learned.
Children in Sydney are particularly patient. They have been taught since childhood that their parents can see a doctor if they are not feeling well, but they can't complain and moan endlessly. Complaining is futile. In winter, girls wear skirts and uniforms, while boys wear shorts and suits. Even on Sundays, parents don't dress their children in thick clothes. They are still running around the park lawn in shorts. Parents in Sydney want their children to be bold, capable and creative when they grow up, and at the same time, they should have a strong body that is not afraid of cold, hunger and fatigue.
Israel: Let the children keep asking questions.
It is said that Jews are successful in business. I wonder if there is any way to educate children? I unconsciously observed Leah and Lamill. Leah is Israeli. Because her husband works in America, she also lives in America with her son Lamill. That day, Lamill came home from the kindergarten bus. Leah asked Lamill:? Did you ask questions today? Lamill nodding. ? What did you ask? Leah kept asking. Lamill began to repeat the question he asked during the day: Why are there red and green leaves? Why do some ants have wings? Why can't milk be exchanged for your cookies? I made a brief count. This little guy asked a dozen questions a day. Leah nodded with satisfaction. ? What is this? I asked Leah curiously. ? Ask questions? Leah said with a smile? Lamill is a question basket, always asking questions. ?
As Leah told me, I gradually understood. Facts have proved that almost every Jew is asked questions by his elders at a very young age. When Leah was a child, her father asked her to ask ten questions every day. If no one answers her, find out for yourself. ? It's nothing,? Leah said,? Almost every child in a Jewish family grew up asking questions. ?
I suddenly discovered the secret I have been looking for: Jews advocate innovation, think that learning should be based on thinking, dare to doubt and are not ashamed to ask questions. Naturally, they accumulated more and more knowledge. I can't help thinking of a widely circulated story. Almost every Jewish parent will ask their children a question:? If the house were on fire now, what would you take out? If the child answers with money or valuables, the mother will ask him again. There is an invisible, colorless and tasteless treasure. Do you know what this is? If the child can't answer, the mother will tell him: Son, what you want to take away is not money, not diamonds, but wisdom. Because no one can take away wisdom. As long as you live, wisdom will always follow you. ? And wisdom comes from asking questions!