From an ethical point of view, it also means that people express "kindness" in order to overcome the tendency of "egoism".
However, there is a difference between politeness and politeness. Politeness generally describes positive aspects, and the word politeness has a hypocritical meaning, that is, by belittling oneself and raising others, regardless of gender.
However, in many parents' educational concepts, it is difficult to distinguish between politeness and politeness, so it is likely to mislead children when educating them. Even these misunderstood "Chinese manners" are slowly hurting their children, but many parents still don't change.
Do children have to say hello when they see "strangers"? No, he doesn't need many parents to think that he must greet strangers, which can solve the embarrassment and is also the basic etiquette for children to be human when they grow up.
It's impolite to say so much. Parents should respect the laws of children's physical and mental development. If they force their children to say hello, it will only bring them ruthless resistance.
A friend told me a story. When he was a child, his grandmother took him out to play and asked his friends to "call someone" when everyone met him, but he didn't know many people, so he didn't want to call anyone. At that time, his grandmother's words made him feel inferior.
Grandma said loudly to the others, "The child is as dumb as a mute. He never makes a hullabaloo about and is not as generous as other children. " From then on, he tried to avoid going out with his grandmother because he felt "ashamed".
I believe that what happens to friends will happen to many people. In fact, parents don't have to force their children to "say hello". They just need to lead by example, and then let their children imitate them, so they can learn slowly.
"Mom, can I accept compliments?" Ma Bao: No, be modest. Once, Li Li, a colleague, took her son shopping and met a friend she hadn't seen for a long time. When a friend saw the child, he praised him and said, "This child is really handsome and quite tall. Look at you. " The child was filled with joy when he heard about it. Just when he wanted to open his mouth to say thank you, Li Lixian opened his mouth.
She said to her friend, "no, he is always picky about food." That's what he is. He is too thin and unhealthy, unlike your child, cute and cute. "
As soon as this was said, the child's heart cooled a lot. Seeing that my mother and friends are very happy to praise each other, they can only lick the wound. In this case, I just want to give my child a song "Shuang".
Why don't parents want to be praised by others? Perhaps in many people's minds, "face" is more important than anything else, not only to maintain their own face, but also to give "others face."
Therefore, in order to maintain it, people need to create a situation. When others praise you, you should let others gain "face" by belittling yourself.
But the question is, who has really considered the feelings of children? Don't children need dignity and "face" So as a parent, I think we should do what we can.
When the other side praises the child, parents should accept it gladly and praise it at the same time, which not only fulfills the child, but also maintains the "face" of both sides. Why not?
"Daughter, go and help take care of that uncle." Daughter: "Are they all my fathers?" My friend's father was hospitalized some time ago. She was in a bad mood and complained to me. I thought it was her father who was in good health, but who knew it was "courtesy of China people".
Father often asked her to take care of patients in the same ward and help her buy all kinds of things. Being with her father day and night exhausted her. Whoever thinks of taking care of someone else's father gets angry.
In this way, she lay in bed for 10 days, fed up with the "public welfare" that her father asked her to do, and asked her father, "Are they all my fathers?"
Judging from this story, do you think my father is helpful? What I didn't expect was that he might be trying to protect his "vanity" and let others see his daughter's "filial piety", but he ignored the feelings of his loved ones.
After all, it is hard enough to accompany patients and take care of a group of people. This kind of thing should be politely refused, otherwise you will only suffer.
Many parents misunderstand "Chinese politeness" and think it is polite and commendable, but everything should be decided according to the scene, and the pros and cons should be weighed, not just personal face. This is the real responsibility for children. But why are so many parents unwilling to change?