Xiao Tao, the son of his best friend, has a bad temper. When he encounters a little difficulty or wants to do something, and his parents are not satisfied, he will immediately turn against him. He will either drop something in his hand or cry. If his parents reason with him, he will get even angrier and sometimes hit people.
This is a headache for his parents, so they often say to their children, "If you cry again, you will take all your toys away", and the children will temporarily restore calm, so every time this happens, it seems that the children will immediately stop, because they are worried that their toys will be confiscated, but gradually, the girlfriends find that the children are less and less fond of being close to their parents.
In fact, there are many people like Xiao Tao. Many parents have threatened to warn their children not to do this or that, but children may feel threatened by their parents, so they will gradually move away from their parents. What impact will it have on threat education?
1, which affects the normal communication between parents and children. Once threatened by their parents, they will feel that their parents forced them to obey or obey in this way, instead of loving them or even hurting them, because their behavior at that time was threatened, and they felt that they were not respected in front of their parents and there would be no equal communication, so children may hide their dissatisfaction, but such dissatisfaction may accumulate in the future.
2, it will hurt the child's self-confidence. Parents' long-term intimidation and threats to children can easily make children lose self-confidence, especially in the process of children's growth, because such education gives children an established impression. If you don't follow the parents' requirements, it may lead to some bad consequences and even make you lose something.
Long-term intimidation and threats, for children, is a bad mental stimulation, which will always exist in children's minds, so we should think carefully about everything we do. This kind of education makes children lose themselves and become unconfident.
3. Parents' "threat education" that causes children's psychological problems will make children feel at a loss, and more importantly, it will affect their mental health development.
Some children have even completed serious psychological problems such as autism and depression. Because children are "threatened" by their parents for a long time, the elements of fear in their hearts will continue to increase and even lose their sense of security. As long as parents are tough, the degree of children's "fear" will be strengthened.
There will be psychological shadows over time. With a shadow in my heart, children are afraid to make any demands at present and suppress their own thoughts. Because they are afraid of being threatened and not being recognized, all emotions are slowly accumulating in their hearts, which is very unfavorable for their growth.
Since threatening education is so harmful to children's growth, how should parents avoid falling into threatening education?
1. Parents should exchange views with their children on the basis of equality. When parents find that some of their children's behaviors do not conform to their own regulations, they should try to talk to their children in the tone of equal consultation, let them take the initiative to let go and convince them from the heart, instead of forcing them to communicate and communicate with them on an equal footing with a tough attitude, so as to completely improve the parent-child relationship, understand their innermost thoughts and help them change the status quo.
Second, parents set an example. Parents are children's first teachers, and children are parents' mirrors under any circumstances. Therefore, in the face of children, parents should lead by example, lead by example, and do what they say. This method can not only convince children, but also change their bad habits and enhance their patience.
For example, if a child refuses to eat, parents should not use threatening words like "If you don't eat, you won't get it …" to force the child to correct it. They should have skills and methods to say to the child, "Today's meal is delicious, and mom has eaten it! Everyone likes a baby who eats well, and everyone likes his mother to finish eating. If the baby has finished eating, everyone will like the baby very much. "
If it is gentle and educational like this, it will impress children more.
Third, turn this threatening education into listening. When children are rebellious, don't suppress them, but listen to their inner voices and let them express their ideas. From these ideas, parents patiently analyze some inappropriate points of this idea with their children, and then express their ideas to see if the children accept them. If they can't accept it for a while, they will give their children time to think about it. I believe that children will have a correct discrimination after they are calm and true, so only by listening to their inner voices can they completely help children and change their minds.
"Threat is education" is the lowest education method. Threats and intimidation may not convince the children, but they obeyed for the time being. If this happens for a long time, parents will only lower their status in their children's minds and stifle their children's nature. Parents should know that the most important thing in raising children is to keep their nature. If parents strictly train their children in their own way, they will only make them lose themselves more.
However, if parents can communicate with their children in an equal way and with respect, even in terms of empathy, they can convince their children with their childhood experiences and make them resonate. It turns out that their parents used to be like themselves, but their backs have gradually changed. This kind of exchange meeting with a strong sense of substitution will make children understand faster, even share experiences, let children understand and digest their own contradictions, and slowly accept what their parents give.
Parental education often determines the child's character, and the children educated by gentle parents are also gentle. However, if the education is always simple and rude, all children's behaviors and thoughts will be simple and rude. Therefore, as the first teacher of children, parents need to strictly control their words and deeds, set an example in front of children, establish a good image of parents, strive to create a warm family atmosphere and learning environment for children, and help children grow and progress step by step.