This kind of children is special. In the face of parents' scolding, they seem to have great courage, and they can keep a smirked attitude, and they will make the same mistake next time. Li Fei, 18, was such a child when he was a child, and his mother was very worried about his education.
Li Fei is a very lovely boy. Since kindergarten, almost all teachers and classmates are happy to see him. Wherever he is, he is full of laughter.
Li Fei's mother, Ms. Wang, didn't think there was anything wrong with her son's personality at first. After all, the child only went to kindergarten, but she didn't expect that her parents had no choice but to change in Li Fei in two or three years.
In the first grade of primary school, Li Fei's liveliness and cheerfulness gradually turned into mischief. After all, playing across the border affects class and study, which is not good in the eyes of teachers and parents.
Li Fei's parents want their son to get rid of his lively personality as soon as possible. After all, he should be calm when he is old, but Li Fei hasn't changed at all. After being naughty became a habit, he seemed to feel that he was very popular with his female classmates, so he didn't want to change.
After Li Fei got into trouble at school several times, the teacher talked to his parents. Both sides wanted Li Fei to change his character, but the adults found that no matter what education he received, he just wouldn't listen.
Lin Fei thought that he could always be liked by his classmates, but things were not as he thought. As the children grew up, their classmates began to hate him.
According to Li Fei's classmates, "Being naughty as a child is nothing. At that time, everyone was playing crazy together, but when I grew up, my study task was heavy and I didn't have time to watch him play tricks! " Besides, don't you think that's childish? "
Parents often choose to forgive their children's naughty behavior as children. Our traditional family education makes parents particularly tolerant of young children, often saying, "It's okay, the children are too young to understand at the moment, and it will be fine when they grow up." This is a very wrong way of education.
Many realistic cases tell us that children should give him a good education at an early age, correct those wrong behaviors, and don't let these behaviors form habits.
In fact, many children don't understand whether their behavior is right or wrong when they are young, because they don't have a clear concept at this time, which requires parents' guidance to help them avoid those wrong behaviors.
If parents think that children don't need education when they are young, they will form the habit of these wrong behaviors after a long time, and it will be difficult to correct them then.
In fact, the mistake of children's repeated education does not lie in children, but in parents' laissez-faire When children are young, it is actually easier for parents to correct their mistakes, but it is difficult to change their habits. What parents need to do is not to let wrong behaviors and wrong ideas become children's habits.
In addition to the mistakes made by parents mentioned above, there is another kind of children who are born incorrigible. For example, Li Fei is such a child.
Children like Li Fei seem to have a unique advantage in being liked. Generally speaking, they are lovable, maybe not handsome or beautiful, but they belong to the type that makes others feel happy at first sight.
This kind of child is naturally lively and cheerful. From a very young age, they don't have stage fright and can chat with people they don't know or even know.
Since childhood, they have been "diligent in exercise", which makes their eloquence better than that of their peers. Coupled with other advantages, they enjoy their ability to make others happy.
Each of us wants to be recognized and appreciated by others, especially children. Studying hard at an early age is to get praise from parents, while children with average academic performance like Li Fei can't meet their parents' expectations, but place their hopes on being liked.
Therefore, if the parents of such children ignore the needs of their children's personality problems for identity in the early stage of family education, it is likely to make their children's research on "likability" deeper.
Such children are naughty because they need the approval of others. If parents can't face up to their children's values, they are impatient with their naughty behavior blindly, and at the same time they are cynical about their academic problems, then it will become a habit for children to insist on teaching.
In the last article, we divided the children who refused to turn over a new leaf into two categories. For ordinary children, it is best for parents to help their children get rid of wrong behaviors and concepts as soon as possible when they go to kindergarten, and don't let these small mistakes become "legacy problems".
For a special child like Li Fei, I believe these parents have had a headache for a long time and always want a clear solution. According to my own process of educating Li Fei, I summarized the following methods for my parents:
1. Talk to children equally and keep a peaceful mind;
3. Don't do things that have negative effects;
4. silently expect that if you want to hold your breath, you can wait until the child gets better.
According to my practice of educating Li Fei and correcting his naughty behavior, at present, this method is the best education method in a short time.
Specifically, first of all, we must ensure that our dialogue mentality with children is equal, because these children are actually very smart. When they feel that they can't meet their parents' expectations in their studies, they hope to win their parents' love by playing tricks.
Compared with many children with poor academic performance, they tend to feel inferior, autistic and passive. Children like Li Fei are actually aggressive.
Therefore, parents should not think about fighting with their children, because children have limited experience, but at the same time they are good at observing words and feelings to win others' likes, and it is easy to see through how parents want to motivate their children.
For children with inferiority complex, we should give them more love, because their inner sensitivity is more vulnerable. But we need to be "indifferent" to Li Fei, a combative child.
Li Fei's mother often cries with anger. The most irritating thing is that when Ms. Wang Ma Bao severely reprimanded him, he could even giggle at her mother and sometimes laugh when her mother was beaten and scolded, which made Ms. Wang feel very broken.
Different children have different temperaments. Although children like Li Fei have special personalities, it is not without methods to educate them. Parents should be more patient and find suitable ways to let their children learn well.
But we should also remember that even if aggressive children like to communicate with their parents in this "ruffian rogue" way, we should not panic and say something particularly hurtful.
In some counseling cases, the parents of such children have also said something particularly outrageous to them. Parents even said, "I don't think this child has a face or skin at all, and he doesn't need a face." But it turns out that they just don't know how to keep their thinking consistent with ordinary people. As a bridge between children and society, parents should be more rational and patient.