First, Chinese-style education has a tradition of "don't beat the abrasive". Many parents think it is good for their children to do something wrong. Therefore, in life, some parents often use sticks to educate their children intentionally or unintentionally because their children are naughty. Even in daily life, deliberately "throwing cold water" to educate children to attack, laugh at and disagree with them. In fact, this kind of "strike education" will not only lead to children's lack of self-confidence, but also affect their future growth. Although this is the way parents think of loving their children, it is a very painful way of education for children. Second, China's parents regard themselves more as their children's elders than friends. Perhaps many parents think that their children are younger generations, not friends. The younger generation should listen to the opinions of their elders and not accept any refutation. In front of children, they are usually very strong. They didn't really listen to the children's inner voice, intentionally or unintentionally put all kinds of learning pressure on them, denying or even attacking their performance. They will ask their children in the way they think is right, and the children should take it step by step without making any mistakes. Have you ever thought that putting yourself in another's shoes and being denied every day will really erase your child's self-confidence? 3. Who is the most perfect child in parents' mind? Good communication between "other people's children" is self-evident for family education. However, "You see Xiao Ming is much more obedient than you", "You see Zhang Shu's children next door are better than you" and "You see Aunt Li's children always get the first place in the exam" are words that many parents blurt out, and they always feel that they should use "other people's children" to spur him to make progress. Children also have their own life trajectory, what to bear and what to experience, and they should have a complete experience. This kind of intentional or unintentional contrast will hurt children's emotions and self-esteem and seriously dampen the parent-child relationship.