There has been controversy about intergenerational education. In fact, we can neither completely rely on intergenerational education nor completely exclude intergenerational education, but we should find out the position of intergenerational education in the whole growth process of children.

The so-called intergenerational education means that grandparents or grandparents educate their grandchildren. Because of the different cultural backgrounds, and because grandparents have passed the critical period of educating children, each of us has a critical period of growth. Grandparents' education of their children is bound to be very different from that of their parents. For example, at that time, many old people were very strict about their children's education, but they loved and even agreed with their grandchildren. This is determined by the psychological characteristics of the older generation and their age characteristics. As the younger generation, we can't blame them blindly, but should see their psychological laws. Because of this. It is not enough to give children's education to or rely on the elderly, which is why we think the elderly are easy to spoil their children.

For a child, if parents can love the child, grandparents can also love the child, and grandparents also love the child, and the child is undoubtedly happy and concerned. Moreover, if family members can communicate harmoniously, cooperate tacitly and complement each other's advantages, they can not only share each other's difficulties, but also let children experience more forms of love in a complementary way, which is also a good way.

Based on this principle, give some most important advice to parents of children. That is to say, families need to hold family meetings to unify their educational concepts, and each generation has different concepts. Parents may pay more attention to their children's personality development, while grandparents will pay more attention to their children's health and morality. The starting point is the same. As long as there is more communication, there is no problem that cannot be solved. Welcome to pay attention to @ Jingjing Jingjing, and grow up with you!

Personally, I don't like the participation of the elderly in child-rearing, so children are brought up by themselves. If you live under the same roof, you should communicate more. The most important role is your husband, who must take the initiative to discuss with his parents. They can help, but they can't dominate your parenting rights, and you can't guide your children in your own way.

The situation you mentioned happens almost every day in China's families with intergenerational education. I think this is one aspect of family conflicts. There must be a teammate for such a thing-your husband. Husband and grandma are still relatively easy to communicate, so let the husband persuade grandma to accept the scientific concept of parenting. When you meet a teammate like a pig, you need to solve it yourself.

With the "6+ 1" education model gradually entering many families, the disadvantages of intergenerational education have also appeared, which has attracted more and more attention from society and parents. In fact, if intergenerational education is an inevitable way of family education in China at present, why not "discard its dross and take its essence", that is, change the thinking dimension, consider giving full play to the advantages of ancestors, and let grandparents educate their grandchildren in their own unique way while getting out of the misunderstanding and keeping pace with the times.

Four misunderstandings in intergenerational education

Grandparents are mostly "emotional", and few elderly people will take the time to study the laws of children's psychological development at different stages and give appropriate educational methods from a scientific point of view. This is related to the era in which grandparents live, because their knowledge dissemination angle, education and information are different from those of young parents, so they are more likely to fall into the misunderstanding of intergenerational education. Myth 1 Overmeeting children's material needs-giving them whatever they want;

Misunderstanding ② Excessive indulgence or harshness-the traditional method of discipline;

Myth 3: Children lack a sense of belonging-leaving their parents too early will be easy to separate;

Myth 4: Deprive children of their independence-unwilling to let them "do it themselves".

Use folk remedies correctly and respect parents' scientific methods.

When grandparents lived, the medical and health conditions were far worse than now. When they were young, they got sick. The usual practice is to use folk remedies to regulate them, so there are often cases of abuse of folk remedies. Therefore, in the process of taking care of children, it is easy for the elderly to see that their children are sick, and they will suggest using folk remedies handed down from the past. In this regard, the elderly can discuss with young parents to avoid misuse, because young parents will make rational and scientific judgments when accepting new information.

"Perception" training, keep pace with the times

When many young parents ask the elderly to help take care of their children, they are most worried that the knowledge of the elderly can't keep up with the needs of the times and they can't educate their children with advanced parenting concepts. This requires the elderly to first break the inherent mode of thinking and accept scientific and democratic parenting methods with a tolerant attitude. For example, children aged 0-3 are in a stage of rapid development because of their feelings and perceptions. The elderly can develop a positive, independent and confident personality through the "sensory training method", that is, through the combination of games, sports and rewards in the process of seemingly playing.

The affection between grandparents and grandchildren is always the closest and purest emotional relationship of human beings. Although there are many traditional misunderstandings in intergenerational education, as long as the elderly avoid overindulgence or harsh methods, absorb new information and scientific knowledge with a positive attitude, strengthen exchanges and interactions with young parents, and give full play to the wisdom and advantages of the elderly, intergenerational education can also cultivate excellent children.

What should intergenerational education do in the face of children's education problems?

At present, there are many problems in family education, which leads to many children's problems, especially in intergenerational education, which exposes more problems.

Nowadays, the common problem of bringing up children from generation to generation is doting, having no bottom line, giving them whatever they want, not guiding them to do housework, and the children have some problems. As soon as the parents say it, the elders will come to protect it and let the children have no scruples. They don't know what is right and what not to do. After a long time, I have no sense of responsibility, no practical ability, no gratitude and no hardship.

A teenager got gout, with more than 600 uric acid, and the pain was unbearable. The doctor knew the situation and said that his grandmother brought him up, so he liked drinking. His mother didn't agree. Let his grandmother buy it as soon as the child says it, and there are other excessive behaviors that damage the child's organs and actually cause a lot of calcium loss.

Nowadays, many children get senile diseases such as diabetes, gout, cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases at a young age, which has a lot to do with children's lack of restraint, overeating, irregular work and rest, and willfulness. If they are sick, they are difficult to treat and may suffer for life.

There are also some children who don't do things, can't do things, are sensitive and inferior, can't stand the blow of things, and are prone to mental illness. There are many children with mental illness and learning disabilities now, which has a lot to do with unscientific family education.

There are also some children who seem to be physically and mentally healthy, but they have nothing to do all day, and the phenomenon of gnawing at the old is serious.

It is reasonable that young parents are busy and elders help to take care of their children, but the key is to have a scale and a bottom line, which requires learning. Many old people think that they have suffered and starved since childhood, and they can no longer let their children suffer and take care of them everywhere. As everyone knows, children who grow up like this will suffer big losses in the future.

Under the same roof, there are inevitably differences. Sometimes not only parenting but also trivial things in life will affect the mood of the day. As for the trivial matters in temporary life, children's education must be taken seriously, and tell your mother-in-law. In parenting, opinions must be consistent. If children are protected from the beginning, it will be more difficult to educate them as they get older.

Families with old people always have the disadvantages of intergenerational education, but if the old people don't help with the children, we can't leave the family. No one sees the advantages of this kind of intergenerational education, but what they see is indeed many shortcomings of intergenerational education. Indeed, generations of pain and generations of relatives have caused the elderly to spoil their children, and grandparents protect them when their parents want to correct them. Faced with this situation, if you are a reasonable mother-in-law, you can say it euphemistically. If you love reading, you can also show your mother-in-law some books on parenting. If it doesn't make sense, I can only let my husband go out and communicate with my mother, and my son won't take it to heart.

The ultimate goal of our parents is for the growth of our children. Most old people just want their children to be happy, regardless of their purpose.

Therefore, it is necessary to communicate with the elderly in advance and educate the "elderly" first, so as to better educate children.

Communicate with the elderly constantly, continuously, thoroughly and often. Don't conflict unless necessary.

I think the biggest problem of intergenerational education is that grandparents love their grandchildren too much. They blindly defend their precious grandchildren, and no matter what bad behavior they have, they can excuse their grandchildren, so that children in kindergartens now have poor self-care ability and can't get along well with other children. Many teachers and parents have seen and noticed these problems, but what should we do? Personally, I think, first of all, as parents, we should honor the elderly and take our children with us. For example, when eating, you can take your children to add vegetables to your grandparents. Secondly, communicate with grandparents more, let them know that overindulging children will destroy them, and let them participate in the action of educating children. Grandparents should have more experience in educating their children than we do. You can also tell grandparents more about how parents educate their children and how children change in the drama they are chasing.

Now young people are working hard outside, and the work pressure is great. The 96 working system is the norm, and it often breaks through this bottom line. It is also common to go home at half past ten in the evening. When you get married and have children, you have to pay back a series of expenses such as mortgage and car loan. You have to work at the same time to make the economy less tense. Children can only be raised with the help of their parents, so the problem of intergenerational education arises.

I have some ideas about this, and I want to share them with you.

First of all, in intergenerational education, the older generation should update their concepts and keep pace with the times. In the concept of the older generation, children can eat and play, as long as they are healthy. As for young parents, they don't understand or actively cooperate with their children's ability to tell stories, put together puzzles, draw pictures and speak English. I think it's time to change my mind. Today's children are born in the era of big data. They were born with favorable conditions, favorable geographical conditions and people, and the difficulties in the future are far from comparable to them. The old imperial calendar of parenting should also be updated in time to accompany young parents to support the pillars of the future.

Secondly, the older generation should learn from each other's strengths, strengthen their own cultural accomplishment and enhance their knowledge and skills. As the saying goes, it is never too old to learn, to overcome laziness and fear of difficulties, to keep pace with the times, and to strive to be the old trendsetter of the times. The older generation has strong hands-on ability, and it should be fun to play puzzles with children; The older generation has accumulated a lot of life experience, and it is novel to tell it to their grandchildren with children's songs or stories. With the help of their own experience, the older generation keeps gaining new knowledge through the media, and young parents try their best to raise the next generation, so the disadvantages of intergenerational education will become less and less.

Finally, the older generation should communicate with younger parents and be good at listening. As long as it is conducive to the growth of the next generation, it should be consistent with young parents. It is the responsibility of young parents to accompany and educate their children. The older generation is only temporary assistance. Although it is a temporary relief, it is the initial stage of children's growth, the purest time in life and the most precious time. No one has the right to scribble at will during this time without thinking.

Intergenerational education should not be underestimated. Are you ready to welcome the baby's grandparents?