He used "four sweets" to dissolve the anger, remorse, fear and shame in children's hearts and rekindle the light of hope in children's hearts.
When a child doesn't do well enough, he doesn't drown out the bright spots on his body with mistakes, he is not rude and eager to criticize, but he uses a pair of wise eyes to discover and awaken his potential.
The first candy: respect and understanding
The second candy: trust and support
The third candy: appreciation and encouragement
The fourth candy: tolerance and consideration
There is a boy in my daughter's class, and his academic performance is often at the bottom of the class, so the head teacher has been angry with him many times in the class.
The more angry the teacher is, the more depraved the child is. Over time, the students began to alienate the boy intentionally or unintentionally, and the boy became less and less fond of school and began to make trouble in class.
When my daughter told me this, my heart was quite heavy.
I am thinking, isn't every child full of longing and expectation for his future from the moment he is ready to step into the campus?
If they are lucky enough to meet discerning "diggers", they can be excavated and achieved here.
In fact, these seemingly barren "lands" subtly contain the special potential of "this land", and only those farmers with discerning eyes can "see" the hidden "treasure" and mine it with them.
If you feel it with your heart, it is not difficult to find that there is also a "treasure" belonging to this boy who is always not optimistic about his grades.
For example, he is in good health and has never called in sick. He achieved good results in sports. At every school sports meeting, he won honors for his class. Besides, he is the strongest in the class. Every time he fights with his classmates, he is a "winner".
……
Speaking of winning, I think someone must be curious about what this "treasure" is.
In fact, it can be seen that the real "treasure" is difficult to see through!
Often the treasure is hidden in the ground, so hidden that people can't see through it at a glance. Only a wise person can detect its clues.
If the teacher didn't criticize the boy immediately after fighting, he chose another way-asking and listening.
Communicate with your child in an equal tone, guide your child to tell the reason for the fight, and let him know that fighting can't solve the problem. It is an extremely bad behavior and you must be responsible for your actions.
Listen to the child carefully, don't interrupt and judge, and let him get it off his chest.
At the same time, the teacher can tell the children that I see the advantages in you: your strength is the biggest in the class, and I appreciate this, but I hope you put this advantage in a good place, ok? If you agree, I'll be happy to help you change.
There are many methods that can be used, among which asking children for help is a good one. In this process, when children feel that they are seen and needed, their sense of value will gradually increase and their sense of responsibility will gradually increase.
For example, I hope you can help us more in class. I think everyone will be very grateful to you in the future: take the initiative to help teachers move teaching AIDS, send homework, or help students in need move desks and stools, and so on. what do you think?
……
Teachers' tolerance and initiative will gradually affect children.
I have a friend who lives in Yunnan. She often sees photos posted in her circle of friends. They are either blue sky and white clouds, or the sun is shining. Especially in winter, I really envy seeing such temperature weather.
One day, I received her voice WeChat, and she said that she envied our friends who lived in other places. I just heard it. I'm a little confused. I think, the climate in your place is so pleasant, why do you envy others?
I asked her doubtfully why.
It turns out that she is envious of the fact that big cities have more resources to choose from, such as good schools, good job opportunities, good artistic influence and so on.
The doubts in my heart are solved.
I can understand her feelings and thoughts very well, because after having children, she hopes to let them receive a good education; She is also a dreamer and wants to make her life more possible.
……
I turned to her and asked, "Would you like to leave your present city?" ? Starting from scratch? "
After waiting for her reply, I think she should be thinking deeply about these problems.
……
The pace of Yunnan is indeed no better than that of Beijing and Shanghai. Although it is slower, it is unique. Maybe it doesn't have exactly the same resources as big cities, but it also has its unique resources. For example, fresh fruits and vegetables, dazzling flowers and plants, rare natural scenery and so on.
No matter which city I live in, I think I can lead a unique life if I manage with my heart.
Take children to appreciate different rhythms, immerse themselves in pure natural art, and develop her different interests and specialties. I think these resources are also inaccessible to children in big cities!
You can also continue to learn, keep up with the cutting-edge rhythm and continue to grow with such a developed network platform. I believe you can meet your own position at the right time.
The most important thing is to find your true inner needs and expectations, that firm view, and then actively experience, test and practice.
Don't look for your own shadow in other people's lives, learn to practice a pair of "eyes" of wisdom, explore the resources you already have, make good use of them, and go on unswervingly.
As written in Possibilities in Your Life:
I think, the more proficient they are, the more they can find a happy road of value, and the less dependent this road is on external things, the easier it is to reach the end.
Whether for ourselves or for our children, we all need to be visionary cultivators. As long as we are willing to "dig" with our heart, there will be unexpected gains.
In the Indian film Stars on Earth, the protagonist Yin Sang is a lonely and helpless star. His grades in all subjects do not exceed 30 points. As long as he faces the paper, his mind is blank. See numbers, letters, etc. I feel countless spiders and bugs crawling towards me, which is extremely scary!
His parents can't understand him, the teacher looks down on him, and in the eyes of his classmates, he is a "freak".
Yin Sang is really in pain. He became more and more silent and completely closed his heart.
Until he met the "unique" teacher Nikuba, he would sing and dance in the class, and the way of class was also very unique. He can't distinguish any children, and he can't code students with scores.
Nikuba noticed the silent Yin Sang. After careful observation and home visits, Nikuba found that Yin Sang was a child with congenital dyslexia.
Nikuba gave Yin Sang a blank sheet of paper to draw at will, without following the "homework procedure", and told Yin Sang a story about Einstein: Einstein was dyslexic when he was a child, but he had a unique thinking.
……
Nikuba earnestly encouraged Yin Sang: "Let go of your footsteps and create something different!"
In the end, Yin Sang became a shining star. Nikuba excavated the "treasure" hidden in Yin Sangyun-extraordinary imagination.
In Yin Sang's mind, his imagination has been roaring and never lost.
Excellent cultivators have a pair of intelligent "eyes", and they know that love and freedom are extremely important.
I am Zuo Xiaoyi, a mother who can play, a vegetarian, a graduate student of psychology in Chinese Academy of Sciences, a parent-child relationship planner, an ACI intermediate psychological counselor and a senior nutritionist.
I have accumulated some interesting and useful ways to get along with my parents during my 7-year working career. Because I realize that "experience is the best teacher in the process of children's growth", I have been committed to studying children's "experiential learning".