But what about the children? We are full of expectations for him and have made all efforts, but he seems to be more and more disobedient and does not follow the path we expect. There is a saying that describes the mood of many parents very aptly. The best are children from other people's families. And their children, the greater their expectations, the more disappointed they are.
Many parents often have no experience to follow in educating their children, which is the first time in their lives. Even if they have children, they still have no way to educate the second and third children. Sometimes, the experience you have finally accumulated will often fail when facing the next child. So the method is often not applicable. We can only study popular children's psychology and understand the psychological motivation behind children's behavior, which is often the basis of educating children.
All these guiding thoughts, or principles to be followed, are centered around guidance. Children's inner world is not what we describe, but what we guide them to grow up. We look forward to what they will look like, or we find out what children will look like. We will use the wisdom we have learned to guide children to grow up and strive to cultivate them into happy and self-disciplined people. Can parents be the best teachers for their children? The key is to rely on the word "guide", don't believe it.
However, we must be clear about how to guide.
First, it is guidance, not command.
Parents can't treat their children as their subordinates or accessories, and they can't feel that they have children because of themselves. They should treat their children as independent individuals and respect their status as you. When the child is still young and has no independent consciousness, we need to help him grow up with our love. When children are conscious and have their own choices, such as what clothes to wear today, what books to read and what to eat, we can't ignore their needs too much. If it is reasonable, I will meet their needs. If we feel that there is a problem, we can't force them to listen to us, but guide them to realize how to do the best.
Second, of course, respect for children should not be allowed and uncontrolled.
Although this sounds contradictory, in the process of guiding children, if we overemphasize respect and leave everything to children, it will become laissez-faire and uncontrolled. After all, children are still young, and when they grow up, there will always be deviations, or when they can't restrain their desires, they may make mistakes and face danger. What should we do? We should give guidance and correct children's bad behaviors or misconceptions. This can prevent children from going astray.
Third, we should realize that there are many ways to guide.
For example, we can put forward some reasonable and concise requirements for children, which are easy for children to do. For example, encourage in time and give children the confidence to complete one thing. For example, children can find strength from role models. Wait a minute. But remember one thing, let children feel love, but don't let them feel that this kind of love is a connivance, let them be satisfied, and don't let them realize that they can satisfy whatever they want. This is not right. The results of all the guidance are positive.
It is important not only to pay attention to oral education, but also to demonstrate one's own behavior. Only by setting an example can parents get twice the result with half the effort and do a good job in education.