? 1, controlled parents

When the child has problems, parents call for 1, 2,3 control, which brings problems: either the child is weak and loses confidence, or he likes control.

? 2. Let parents go.

Whether the child cries or not, the child will lack an extreme sense of belonging to the team and rely too much on it, so the child may join the underworld, gangs, drug abuse, internet addiction and so on.

Step 3 bribe parents

? Don't cry to buy food for the children. Taking children to the movies is similar to bribing. Children do the right thing and stick small red flowers. In this way, children have no internal motivation to do anything, all the motivation comes from the outside, they can't feel the fun of the thing itself, and gradually lose their fun and depression.

4. Despise, underestimate and deny children's feelings

For example, if the child is hungry, tell the child not to be hungry just after eating; Tell the child that it doesn't hurt when he falls, get up quickly, it doesn't matter, the child doesn't cry, which leads the child to ignore the feelings of others. For example, when bullying others, he thinks he is not bullying others regardless of their feelings.

5. Take the negative consequences as the direct consequences of punishment: for example, having dinner together at 5: 30 in the evening, the children didn't eat in time when watching TV, and missed the meal time when they wanted to eat, so there was no food to eat. Negative consequences: the child broke the quilt, so he can't watch cartoons tonight, and there is no direct connection between breaking the quilt and watching TV, which makes the child feel very strange. Since then, children have learned to be good at telling lies and can punish them with direct consequences.

6. Corporal punishment

Minor corporal punishment: slapping and spanking are acceptable, but corporal punishment is often problematic because the atmosphere brewed by parents is scary. When a child thinks that his parents will lose control, the whole safety barrier of his life will be destroyed, which will sow a seed and lead to a huge crack in the parent-child relationship between the child and you.

Second,? What do we do?-Emotional guidance

Help your child build a large number of emotional vocabulary through emotional guidance, and he will learn to communicate with you in an adult way. Why do children often roll and cry when they are young? It is because the child can't do anything but this trick, and no one has taught him what method is effective. Therefore, we should teach him a lot of emotional vocabulary through emotional guidance, so that he can be good at understanding others and his own feelings. For example, when watching a bear and seeing Logger Vick smile, you can ask your children how they feel about Logger Vick at this moment. What do you think Logger Vick is thinking?

Emotional guidance method steps:

? 1, plant a seed for the child.

? For example, we are going out for dinner tonight. After entering the private room, don't run around, don't make noise, and don't break plates and bowls. Can you do it? This is a requirement for you to have dinner tonight. This is the first time to tell your child. Tell them again before you leave for dinner, on the way and when you arrive at the hotel. This is called planting seeds and telling your children what is right, instead of directly asking them to be good, you should make specific requirements. Ok, let's start enjoying dinner.

2. Constantly observe and judge children.

What is the state of the child at the moment? See if the child's mood is within the normal range or out of control?

? Step 3 listen

When the child's emotions are out of control, learn to listen, squat down and look directly at the child and ask him how he feels.

? 4. Observe and understand the child's feelings and reflect his emotions.

If the child is angry, you should reflect his feelings and tell the child that you understand his anger, sadness, injustice and pain, so as to correctly reflect the child's feelings, so that the child's mood will gradually decline. When the child's mood returns to normal, guide the child to solve the problem.

? 5. Guide children to solve problems

Ask him how to solve this problem. How do you think you can get along with children? What do you think will make you all happy not to fight? After guiding the child to solve the problem and do things right, you tell the child what this is called and praise his parents for their unconditional love for the child, but when they express it, they don't. For example, if they don't obey me, I will ignore you and don't want you. We all like obedient children and so on. This kind of conditional love will make the child not easily admit his mistake, because once he admits his mistake, it means that his parents may not love him, and unconditional love does not mean doting. It is because dad loves you unconditionally that dad comes to help you. Because dad loves you, so dad tells you what to do is right. After criticizing the child and correcting his behavior, tell the child that although Dad criticized you and corrected your behavior today, Dad still loves you. This is the language pattern that a family who loves unconditionally should have.

? Emotional guidance is a tool. The best time to learn this tool and cultivate children is when they do the right thing and tell him that it is right and why, he will become more and more confident and accumulate many correct behaviors, and he will live in harmony with this society.