character introduction
Liu: Male, a sophomore, doesn't like taking part in extracurricular activities.
Xiaoying: A sophomore girl, Liu's girlfriend.
Stupid root: male, freshman, kind-hearted, short, a little stupid and rustic.
Hu Li: Male, junior, head of the school troupe.
Mao Bing: Female, sophomore, chairman of the school drama troupe.
Fan Zi: Male, freshman, member of the school drama troupe.
First act
One night in the winter of 2004, in a university, the self-study class began. There are only a few people in the classroom. On the stage, five sets of tables and chairs, Liu, Xiaoying, Silly Root, Mao Bing, took to the stage in turn with rhythmic music. )
Stupid root: when I was in college, my father taught me: study hard and make progress every day; Read more, find fewer partners, study more, grow stronger and stronger, and don't be too grumpy. Students should be humble to each other, study hard, and strive to be a good person in college.
Hu Li: I'm a little tired recently. I'm so tired, my mouth is bitter, my mouth is full of yellow blisters, and I even pee in the toilet! Because there are still some things in my heart, and the pressure is great. ...
Mao Bing: It is said that college students are active and lively. But it's hard to say: I went to a drama troupe to hold activities, and I found a dozen actors, all of whom flinched. They said: study is the most important thing, don't engage in activities! Good grades, everything! Look at me, this urgency, this sadness, this helplessness! Before, I was handsome and personable; Now, now like a yellow-faced woman! hey ...
Liu: I come to teach myself English Band 4 every day. I have no choice but to take the initiative! How can I earn RMB if my work is not satisfactory in the future? ! For the sake of RMB, you'd better concentrate on your studies! Regardless of various activities and competitions, reading is my favorite! By the way, in order to add excitement to life, we should also fall in love occasionally!
Xiaoying: I'm not afraid to suffer hardships for Band Four, and I will suffer hardships in cold winter and hot summer! However, this is not for me to decide. I only got 250 last year! I will take another 250 this year, and I will go home to sell sweet potatoes!
Five people sit down, Ali and Xiaoying are together, Brother San and Bing are together, and Stupid Root sits in the middle seat.
Liu: This table is really dirty! (Take out the toilet paper, wipe it clean and throw it away)
Xiaoying: I told you! Don't litter! Throw a beautiful parabola like me. (The paper ball hits the sleeping stupid root)
Idiot (angry): Who is it? ! (Imitating Xiaogang Feng in world without thieves) (The background music is thunder) Who threw this garbage? !
Xiaoying: I threw it. What happened?
Stupid root (soft): Nothing, I'm just asking. As long as I know who threw it, I just want it back.
Xiaoying: It's really Lei Feng in the new era. I wonder what Lei Feng called it?
Stupid root: My name is stupid root. I'm in radio and television class 04 1. I never leave my name when I do good deeds!
Xiaoying: silly root, you are really an unsung hero. Hello.
Stupid root: hello, big sister!
Xiaoying: This is my boyfriend.
Stupid root: Good boyfriend!
Liu (to silly root): Who is your boyfriend? Take advantage of me!
Stupid Root: Sorry, sorry! Or you can take advantage of me and call me girlfriend!
Liu: mental derangement!
Stupid root: no, no, no, the doctor said I was mentally ill! Elder sister (sad), eldest brother seems to be ill.
Xiaoying: Oh ... Oh ... He was too tired to play ball yesterday. He felt a little sick.
Idiot: Brother, you should pay attention to your health. ("Jianghu" music begins) It's not easy for your mother to feed you shit and urine!
Liu: I grew up eating this?
Idiot: Brother, do you want to buy some medicine? It's good to have a cover in the middle. Last time my grandfather ate it, his back ached and his legs stopped hurting, and he was still very energetic when he went upstairs. He went up to the fifth floor in one breath! Why not buy it? Is big brother short of money?
Liu: If you don't lack money, you will lack RMB!
Stupid root: RMB? ! I have it here! 50 yuan was left when I filled out the meal card this morning.
Xiaoying: How kind of you! However, don't show your money, beware of thieves!
Stupid root: thief? ! Where is the thief?
Xiaoying: Well ... who knows!
Stupid root: then I'll ask, hey! Is there a thief? Which one of you is a thief? Stand up and show my sister! (Towards Hu Li and Mao Bing)
Idiot: Are you thieves?
Hu Li: What's wrong with you? Have you asked such a person?
Mao Bing: Are you crazy? Brother, how can there be thieves in the school?
(Silly Root looks startled and at a loss)
Hu Li: But, alas, little brother, we just need a thief!
Stupid root: huh? You're running a thief training class?
Bing: Brother, why are you talking without thinking? Well, we are rehearsing a play, and we are short of a thief. We looked for a lot of people, but none of them were suitable and no one wanted to play.
Idiot (excited): Are you going to let me play? !
Hu Li (facing the audience): Hehe, he is more like a farmer. Little brother, see that boy across the street? (pointing to Liu) Wow! It's really good material to play a thief! (to himself) But what if he doesn't want to?
Bing: silly root, we all looked at you very carefully just now. You really look like Pan Changjiang and have a heart like Xu Benyu. You are a living Lei Feng! (Stupid root is smug)
Hu Li was right! Look at you: your face is like a peach blossom, your posture is symmetrical, and you walk like a spring breeze. What a nice guy!
Mao Bing: Well, good man, we ask you a favor. Will it be okay?
Stupid root (patting his chest): Of course, my father taught me to be a kind person and help others when they are in trouble! Go!
Hu Li: Oh, that's great! Come on, come on ... (After the three discussed it, Hu and Mao sat back in their original seats)
Silly Root (turning to Rene Liu): Elder sister, they are not thieves, so I said there are no thieves! How can there be thieves in the school? There are no thieves on campus! I am tired. I'm going to sleep first.
Xiaoying: He is too arrogant!
Liu (Wuhan accent): Look at his simple mind and underdeveloped limbs. He's just a fool!
Xiaoying: But he has a good heart and good quality. It's not like you, littering! College students should have the spirit of the new era, civilization and quality. ...
Liu: Oh! I won't throw it again. I threw a beautiful parabola.
Xiaoying: You? ! Still making fun of me, right? Always die and never repent. I didn't mention you when I took someone else's open water bottle in the boiling water room last time.
Liu: Haha, you still say? Last time, you obviously asked me to go. You said that your water bottle was taken away by someone else, so I'll help you find someone else to fill it!
Xiaoying (blushing): You went!
Liu: You told me to go!
Xiaoying: You went by yourself!
Liu: You told me to go!
Xiaoying: You went by yourself!
(Two people quarrel ...)
Stupid root: Oh, my God! Why did you fall asleep! Luckily, you woke me up, and I almost forgot. ...
Xiaoying: What have you forgotten?
Idiot: I forgot to take sleeping pills! (takes out sleeping pills) The doctor says I have to take sleeping pills to fall asleep. I almost fell asleep without eating! Sister, do you take sleeping pills?
Xiaoying: How can you just take sleeping pills? Don't eat!
Idiot: Then have a candy.
Xiaoying: Mmm (takes it and eats it) It's delicious! It's all me!
Liu: (eating) Give me another one!
Xiaoying (yawning and stretching): Idiot, what is this candy made of?
Stupid root: sleeping pills.
Liu and Xiaoying: Ah! (Two people fall down together)
Idiot: Hey hey. (get down and sleep)
Hu Li (to Mao Bing): It's time to exercise you. Let's move. You take the money, I'll pay!
(Mao Bing limps past, puts his hand into silly root's pocket, and silly root wakes up)
Mao Bing: Mom, you scared me to death! Didn't fall asleep or say hello!
Idiot: Why did you put your hand in my pocket?
Mao Bing: Change!
Idiot (loudly and nervously): Money? ! I have no money!
Mao Bing: You are so arrogant without money!
Idiot: Big Brother said it was called RMB.
Mao Bing (deliberately shouting at Liu): RMB is RMB! You put it away and I'll steal it. ...
(Liu wakes up slowly and looks at them strangely)
Idiot: Oh (putting money on the table)
(In "The Devils Enter the Village", Mao Bing looks around furtively and secretly takes the money away. )
Mao Bing (softly asked): Has anyone seen it?
Stupid root (staring blankly) I saw it.
Mao Bing (surprised, softly): It's all your fault! You despise my level of theft and insult my professional level! Can you cooperate a little! Have you ever acted in a play?
Idiot (excited): Acting? I played! The last school play was called The Widow's Life, and I played the leading role, which was very good!
Mao Bing (looking up and down): You play the widow?
Idiot: Hehe, I play the widow's husband. Why don't you do it again? I will cooperate!
Mao Bing: Forget it, I have no desire to express myself at all! Forgive you this time, and pay attention next time! Go to sleep.
Idiot: Oh (asleep)
(Mao Bing deliberately walked in Liu's direction, and Liu stood up and blocked the way)
Liu: It's dark, windy and bright on the moon ... (Looking up) Under the electric light, are you stealing?
Mao Bing: Brother, there is a misunderstanding!
Liu: Misunderstanding? Open a college student, you steal, and you dare to argue!
Mao Bing: There is really a misunderstanding!
Liu (imitating Li Bing's limp): Did you just pretend to be lame? What happened? Is this it?
Mao Bing (surprise): You found this, too?
Liu (proudly): Of course! You deserve to be a thief at this level? You humiliated the thief! (with disdain)
Mao Bing (surprise): Sorry, I blacked the thief's glorious flag, but it's not all my fault. They didn't cooperate at all when it was stolen! (pointing to silly root)
Liu: Hum! I'll teach you what a professional thief is and see how powerful I am!
Mao Bing: How awesome?
Liu: Give me the money you just took first, and I'll show it to you.
Mao Bing: Oh (give the money to Liu)
Liu (collecting the money): Haha, it's mine! Do you see it? That's it!
Mao Bing (unbelievable) Oh ... I don't understand!
Liu: Hey ... how can such a superb level be said! Let's go back and study for ourselves. (Go back and put the money back in the idiot's pocket)
Mao Bing (returns to his seat and says happily to Hu Li): Uncle Li, he took the money. ...
Hu Li: I'm looking here! Really a rare genius in a hundred years! What is the most expensive thing in 2 1 century? (Suddenly opens his eyes) Talent!
(Standing up and calling Liu): Who is that?
Liu (pointing to himself): Me?
Hu Li: Yes, that's you. Please come here. (Liu walks over)
Hu Li: I want to meet you. My next name is Hu. He is the head of the school drama troupe, and everyone in the group is proud to call him Uncle Li.
Liu: Troupe?
Hu Li: Yes, I think you misunderstood just now. We are going to rehearse a campus version of world without thieves. Everything is ready except the thief actor who plays Andy Lau! I haven't found the right person for a long time.
Liu: Oh … don't tell me you are practicing being a thief!
Hu Li: No, we found you as soon as we entered the classroom just now. Wow! It's really well-proportioned and graceful. It is simply the embodiment of beauty and wisdom, hero and chivalry! You must play the thief!
Liu (turning anger into joy): I tell you, look at you, from head to toe, from pants to coat, from heart to appearance, how can you be a thief!
Hu Li: Yes! Let me introduce her to you. She is the chairman of our troupe. Her surname is Mao.
Bing: My name is Mao Quan. Please call me Koizumi!
Liu (facing the audience): It turns out that Koizumi is a sissy and specializes in being a thief!
Hu Li: We were going to look for you from the beginning, but we weren't sure if you were suitable, so we decided to test your real kung fu, so that's what just happened. ...
Liu: Oh ... misunderstanding. However, if you want me to act in a drama, I'll tell you that I will never join the party, the student union or the society. I am a freelancer. I insist on being a single aristocrat!
Xiaoying (suddenly sitting up and patting Liu on the head): Just you! Did you take the wrong medicine or eat enough? Do you eat hot pot or popsicle ice? Who am I? Don't want to live? ! Can't you enrich your after-school life by just thinking about reading books and online dating all day? (Xiaoying falls asleep after speaking)
Liu: Hey! Domestic violence, but I really don't want to go!
Bing: Brother, with your high level of theft, don't you want to show your talents?
Liu (hesitating): Er. ...
Xiaoying: The opportunity is rare. If you hesitate again, I will live with your family and two families!
Liu (facing the audience): In a society where women's rights are supreme, men's lives are really bitter! But (to Ge You) leave me alone. Since you let me play a play, you have to take action in this respect, impress me and convince me!
Hu Li: OK! Brother, we won't push you. Now we all advocate a harmonious society and pay attention to the principle of fairness. Okay, let's make a bet. ...
Liu: How to gamble?
Li Bing (pointing to the silly root): See that silly boy in the back?
Liu (Wuhan accent): Oh ... just that one.
Hu Li: Yes! We bet that silly boy 50 yuan: our drama troupe will take some measures to take his money these two days, so you should take precautions. If we get it, you play the thief!
Liu: OK! But ... what if you don't get it?
Hu Li: If we don't get it. ...
Liu: How about it?
Li Bing (rushing to say): You are the one who plays the thief!
Liu (thinking for a moment): OK! Fair! (How many people get off the bus)
Act ii
(Narrator: The next day, the school broadcast: Dear students, because the first snow in 2004 came earlier than before and the weather was cold, some people unfortunately suffered from heatstroke and urgently needed blood donation. Campus is a family, blood donation depends on everyone! Please carry forward the spirit of helping others and donate blood enthusiastically. )
(Bing changed into a nurse's uniform, and Hu Li wore a white jacket. A poster board was erected next to the table, with several big characters written on it: blood sucking place, and at the bottom: Did you donate blood today? Welcome all students to donate blood enthusiastically. )
Li Bing (waving a white handkerchief and chanting beautifully): Donate blood! Donate blood
(Narrator, the music of sesame paste advertisement begins): When I was a child, I couldn't help hearing this familiar voice!
Idiot (on stage): I want to donate blood. ...
Hu Li: Classmate, you are so dedicated!
Stupid root: that is! Father said: I am tall and big, so don't be afraid of difficulties. Do more dedication!
(Silly Root walks to the right corner of the stage and sits on the stool)
Bing: Wait, take some sedatives before drawing blood. (Hu Li looks around as if waiting for someone to appear)
Stupid root: This medicine looks familiar. Looks like sleeping pills!
Li Bing (loudly): Ha ha ha ha! It's sleeping pills.
Idiot (pretending to fall): Huh? (Li Bing is going to get the money, Shang Liu)
Hu Li: Wait, (prone on the ground) As far as I know, he's finally here!
Liu: It's already in front of you! Well, (pointing to Li) you think I don't know you when you wear a vest?
Tall! Tall! Really high! I can't believe you caught me after trying so hard. Alas ..... There are days behind the scenes, but there are. ...
Liu: What?
Hu Li: Clothes!
Liu: Cut! You didn't expect to come up with this trick to get his money, huh! However, with your little trick, you want to fool me?
Hu Li (Cadence): There is no water in the mountains, and there is no way out. ...
Liu: What trick?
Bing: Hum!
Li Bingbing and Ge You (Qi): Plan B! (Lightning and thunder)
(Fan Zi is waving a simulated plastic axe): Hit … Hit … Hit …
Hu Li: Robbery!
Fan Zi: Yes! Robbery!
(and Bing hurriedly raise their hands, and Liu looks startled. Bing picked up Liu's hand and raised his own): Say "grab" and put your hands up!
Hu Li: I hate you robbers most. You have no skill at all! (winking at Fan Zi)
Fan Wei (holding Hu Li's hand and holding it excitedly): Long live understanding! (to Liu) IP, IQ, meal card, Internet card, tell me all the passwords!
Liu (unbelievable): In broad daylight, there will be a robbery on campus under Lang Lang Gan Kun. How funny!
Fan Wei: What a beautiful smile! Seriously, don't laugh, we're robbing here! Uncle Li. (I found that I let slip, so I quickly covered my mouth.)
Liu: Uncle Li?
Libing (quickly blocking Liu's sight and raising Liu's hand): Robbery, put your hands up.
(Liu put it down reluctantly, Li lifted it again, Liu put it down again, and so on)
Fan (softly to Hu Li): Uncle Li, there is a sleeper over there. I'll rob him first. (to Liu) You! Don't play games, stand aside!
(Liu wants to argue with him)
Bing: That's Yamakaji across the street. It's none of our business! (Pull Liu aside)
Hu Li: Let's save ourselves first. Don't let him rob us, too. (Before Liu, Li Binghe pulled Liu down)
Fan Zi (approaching the sleeping idiot): Hehe ... Hey, are you asleep? (Shaking silly root) Say something! Are you asleep?
Stupid root: asleep!
Fan: I should have told you when I was asleep.
Idiot: I am dreaming! This is the dream of a TV series.
Fan Zi: Huh? Ok, let's start with an advertisement. ...
(The rhythmic music begins. Under the stage, Hu Li and Li Bing came on stage, dancing, and Fan Zi echo each other): No gifts for robbery this year, no gifts! Accept gifts or find cash ... find cash, find cash, find cash, find ... cash!
Idiot (sitting up): It's the same sentence every year. Can you change it?
Fan Zi (takes out a piece of written paper from his pocket): This is my notice of robbery. I suspect you have a lot of cash on you. I want to search you illegally.
Stupid Root (Timid): All right, you search.
Fan Zi: Huh? So refreshing?
Stupid Root (patting his chest): Of course, my dad said: Be generous. And you stole it aboveboard. It's okay, hero, come on! Come on, hero! (Imitating "Going East and Going West") (Buried in sleep)
(Fan Zi starts looking for silly root's money, but Liu tries to stop him. Bing He pulls him): Clay Bodhisattva wants to cross the river, mind your own business. ...
Fan Zi (excited): Uncle Li, it worked, it worked, it worked!
(Hu Li and Bing come running with a smile. Bing took the money and looked at it happily. )
Liu (following strangely and angrily): I knew you were working together! !
Hu Li: It's already late. Ha ha! Fan Wei, your task has been successfully completed!
Fan: Yes, sir! (The marchers leave)
Li Bing (surprised): Uncle Li! This money is fake!
Liu He (Qi): Fake money?
Silly Root (to Andy Lau): Boy, Uncle Li treated you with some respect before dealing with you. You play civet cats for princes with me! When I debuted, you were also a "three good students".
Li Bing (snickering): We'll sue you at the Consumer Protection Association!
Liu (surprised, innocent): Uncle Li, I didn't change his money. I don't know him very well. (to silly root) silly root, do I know you?
Stupid root (sinister smile, secretly pleased): Brother, you don't know me. (Buried in sleep)
Hu Li: I gave my heart to the moon, but the moon shone on the ditch!
Liu: Uncle Li, I really didn't change his money!
Hu Li: I can tell you responsibly that Uncle Li is very angry and the consequences are very serious! (Li snickers)
This article is transferred from? Liu: What do you want? Don't you just want me to act in a play? There is no need to make such a fuss, is there?
Bing: Hey, you see, in order for you to play a play, our head (with stroking hair) has black hair of fifty or sixty feet and long sorrow. ...
Liu: I didn't expect you to go to so much trouble to design such a wonderful link for me. Very interesting, really touched me! (moved)
Hu Li: (happily) In that case. ...
Bing: You can play a drama with us!
Liu (suddenly changing his tone): No way! It's hard for me to believe that you are uniting to deceive me now, unless. ...
And Li Bing (Qi): Unless what?
Liu: Unless you can beat me this time. ...
(Li and Hu nod at each other): OK!
(The three men glared at each other, confronted each other for a few seconds, and suddenly jumped away! Looks like a fight. Beijing opera music rings, three people turn around the stage ... "Men Be Strong" music rings, three people pose as fighting martial arts ... Beijing opera music rings and three people walk around the stage. The music stopped suddenly, and Liu rushed to each other with an "ah". Just as they were about to collide, they stopped together, guessed fists and gave a burden, and Liu gave a stone.
Hu Li (ecstatic): I won! It worked! Ha ha ha ha! (to Liu) Is the play set?
Liu (helplessly to himself): Ah … I lost! However, it seems that rehearsing the drama is also very interesting and attractive! Why didn't I find it before? Let's go I want to play with you!
Bing: God helps those who help themselves!
Xiaoying (on stage, very happy): I'm so touched! (Exaggerated to wipe tears with toilet paper) Liu, I support you! (Say, throw away the toilet paper)
Liu (hastily picking up the tissue, with a kind laugh): Now we advocate environmental protection and don't litter. Didn't I tell you that college students should have the spirit of the new era, be civilized and have literacy? ...
(Xiaoying smiles shyly)
Hu Li and Li Bingbing: Come on, don't waste time. Let's rehearse the play now! (La Aaron)
Idiot (sitting up): Hey! It's all gone, and finally it's all gone (taking money from another pocket). My dad said: Help others to the end and send Buddha to the West. These people are really tired! Civet cats for princes? Hehe, Uncle Li is really amazing! This recruit also want to come out! But I can still do it, right? Look how well I cooperate! Hehe, I walked through the south and across the north; I have practiced my legs on the loess high slope; Both the Yangtze River and the Yellow River have drunk water; Kissed a fool. Who am I? I am an idiot! By the way, my father also said: college is not depressing, and life is rich and colorful; Students live in harmony with each other, and their enthusiasm for participating in activities should be stimulated; Don't be poisoned by computer games, study hard; For the sake of future happiness, we can't go astray. So you can get a good wife when you go home!