My friend's children used to lie, and they were annoyed when I talked about their lying behavior. I won't know until I ask. It turned out that children would secretly change their grades every exam and write their own grades higher. I didn't expect to really fool her. Later, at a parent-teacher meeting, the teacher criticized the child for not studying hard, only to know that the child had cheated himself for almost half a semester, so he went home and beat the child severely.
Later, when asked why the child lied, the friend thought about it and said that it might be too strict with the child. When he doesn't tell a lie about his bad grades, he always scolds his children, which may make them feel scared. Therefore, I suggest that my friends try not to scold their children when their grades are not good, but to encourage them. Since then, the children have never lied again. My friends say that their enthusiasm for learning has improved a lot.
In fact, the situation of children lying in the world is similar. Some children lie just to escape the punishment of their parents. For example, some children accidentally broke vases, bowls, etc. When they are alone at home, they will blame their dogs and so on. Or when they fail in the exam like friends and children, some children will secretly imitate the teacher's handwriting with a red pen, changing "3" to "8", "7" to "9" and so on. To avoid being punished by parents.
For children, they don't know that lying is a bad habit and behavior. They just think that lying can keep them from being punished by their parents, so they choose to lie. Therefore, children will have the experience of lying before forming a wrong opinion.
Most children lie in order to escape the punishment of their parents. Because children are afraid of their parents, they will subconsciously lie to get through the "current problem".
Besides avoiding being punished, children lie for the benefit. Recently, the school season is coming, and children will buy book covers after issuing new books. Some children will take this opportunity to ask their parents for more money, but then they will do other things instead of buying book covers. For children who lie, it is actually for profit, so that they can buy food or toys before deceiving their parents. There are also some children who have conflicts when other children are playing. Obviously, the child has never been beaten, but he told his parents that he had been beaten. This kind of child is also to attract parents' attention and let parents stand up for themselves. Therefore, the original intention of this kind of child lies is to make a profit.
The last possibility for children to lie is to attract their parents' attention. For families where both husband and wife are busy with their careers, the probability of children lying will increase. After all, they want to attract their parents' attention and be cared for by their parents.
After we know the reason why children lie, we can easily solve the problem of children lying.
When a child has a problem of lying, parents can't just tell the child that it's not good, or expect the child to correct it through criticism and telling the truth. This is actually very effective. In order to correct the child's habit of lying, parents only need to know the reasons for the child's lying, and then make improvements on this basis so that the child will not have the necessary pleasure of lying, so as to completely correct the child's lying behavior.
For children who lie for fear of being punished, the main thing parents need to do is not to blame their children for lying, but to look back and see if there is anything wrong with the way they educate their children. If a child lies for fear of being punished, it often shows that there is something wrong with the way parents educate their children, especially if the children do not behave well, and the parents beat and scold the children, the children will choose to lie because of excessive psychological pressure.
In this case, parents should examine whether they have put too much pressure on their children and reflect on whether there is a problem with their way of educating their children. Only by improving the way they educate their children can they stop lying. Just like my friend did before, when the child's exam results were not good, she was used to scolding and yelling at the child, which naturally led to the child's fear of low exam scores. The next time a child gets a low score, in order to avoid being scolded, he can only choose to lie.
Parents need to understand their children, why they didn't do well, whether they didn't work hard or whether they really didn't do well after their efforts. Parents can blame their children for not working hard, but if they can't do anything after working hard, parents should stop blaming their children.
When children lie for the benefit, the problem still appears on parents, because parents take care of their children in an inappropriate way. Some parents often don't know how to give their children pocket money when they are taking care of their children. They think their children are too young to spend pocket money, so they are often shy.
In fact, children need pocket money when they go to school. Whether it is too hot, want to eat ice cream, or treat each other, children need at least a few dollars of pocket money every day. Imagine that the child is the only one who treats guests. Because he has no pocket money, he can't treat guests. When other children know that he can't afford guests, they naturally won't treat them, which will also affect their social interaction.
Therefore, parents should change the habit of treating their children, don't think that children can't use money at school, and be sure to leave pocket money for their children. This is also for the social consideration of children, and it can also prevent children from lying and cheating pocket money.
For children who lie because of lack of parental care, they sometimes lie to test whether their parents care about themselves because of their insecurity. This requires parents to spend more time with their children. Don't always be busy. They should care about their children and ask them how they are doing recently. Don't make them feel neglected.
Therefore, the fact that children lie is actually a problem with the way parents educate their children. Only by improving the way parents educate their children can parents eradicate their children's habit of lying.