My brother and I grew up in an environment where the role of father hardly existed. Because my father was a workaholic when he was young, he once proudly told me that his attendance rate was 360 days for five consecutive years when he was young, which led to little time at home.

I am sensitive, insecure and slightly depressed in adolescence, while my brother is extremely introverted and rebellious after adolescence, which can be said to be two problems of teenagers. Of course, there are various reasons for my brother's adolescent problems, but the lack of father's role is an important factor.

What role did your father play in your growing environment?

However, many fathers in life don't know enough about their responsibilities in education, so they can always hear such conversations.

The wife said to her husband, "You are only busy outside all day. When I get home, I either play games online or watch TV, regardless of my children. "

The husband replied, "I am very tired from working during the day." And as the saying goes, men are outside, women are inside, and taking care of children is a mother's business. "

The wife protested: "The child is named after you. Who said it was just my business? I have to work, too, which is unfair! "

At this time, the husband will comfort: "Let me take it, but I am careless and impatient. What should I do if I bring my child bad? " Women are more careful than men, and you take care of children much better than me. "

It can be seen from this conversation that men often think that taking care of children is a woman's business and has nothing to do with themselves. As long as he earns enough money outside to support the family, the husband's task is completed.

This kind of cognition is a complete misunderstanding of father's responsibility. Let's learn what our father should undertake in education from the oriental wisdom contained in Oracle Bone Inscriptions's word "teaching".

The picture below shows the word "Yu" in Oracle Bone Inscriptions. It can be seen that it consists of two parts: left and right. The upper left represents the mother who breastfeeds the baby, and the lower right represents the baby.

The combination of left and right shows that the mother held the baby in her infancy and breastfed it. In other words, in the eyes of the ancients, the mother's duty is to provide food and love attachment for her children and ensure their healthy growth.

The picture below shows the word "jiao" in Oracle Bone Inscriptions, which is complicated and consists of three parts.

The lower left of the word represents a child who has left infancy and can run around, and is the main body of learning; The upper left represents learning materials, and the upper right is a hand with a stick.

The combination of left and right means that a hand with a stick is teaching children to learn knowledge.

More interestingly, in Oracle Bone Inscriptions, this hand with a stick is also the word "father". In other words, it is the father who teaches his children to learn knowledge with a stick.

Therefore, in the traditional wisdom of the East, education is the work that both father and mother have to undertake, but the division of labor is different.

The mother's main duty is to "nurture", provide food and love attachment for children, especially infants in infancy, and make children physically and mentally healthy.

Fathers need to teach their children all kinds of knowledge and skills, so that children can become self-reliant and independent, and become useful people to the tribe or society.

Of course, great changes have taken place in our living environment in modern society. For example, a mother may feed her children with milk powder instead of her own milk. For example, "a dutiful son is born under a stick" is a kind of barbaric education, which has been criticized by people. For example, the number of single mothers is increasing. So, how can fathers continue to play a role in modern society?

If you are a single mother, you don't need to be depressed. Let your children get in touch with male characters around you, such as uncles, because according to research, if a boy loses his father before the age of 4, he may grow into a man who is less aggressive and tends to be feminine. If a girl loses her father before the age of 5, she may be anxious, shy or at a loss when interacting with boys in adolescence.

If you are a busy father, you should also be able to devote yourself to what your mother can't do during the limited time with your children.

The interaction between mother and son is usually quiet by telling the story of the white rabbit and the wolf. In these quiet interactions, mothers convey meticulous care, warmth and empathy, making children realize that people are soft, fragile and sensitive. Therefore, it is easier for mothers and children to establish an attachment relationship, so that children can seek more comfort from their mothers when they encounter pain.

Fathers usually interact with their children through fierce confrontation games or exploring strange scenes. In these exciting activities, the father gradually formed the child's ability to be resolute, dare to challenge and resist setbacks. A study by Yale University in the United States shows that children raised by fathers have higher IQs. Why? The reason is very simple, because mothers usually teach their children how to use various items in daily life, while fathers often engage in the operation of repairing vehicles, machinery and electrical appliances at home, which makes children have a strong interest in hands-on operation. Hands-on operation promotes the development of children's imagination, perception and creativity, and at the same time stimulates their desire for exploration and job hunting.

Thanks: "Get" "Liu Jia? Psychology 30 lectures "