1. Introduction
Will students from different cultural backgrounds continue to adhere to their own culture or accommodate others in the process of mutual communication? Obviously, the main thing is to maintain the inherent culture and accommodate others appropriately according to the situation. In this way, domestic students and international students will inevitably have little friction in their study and life. Because contradictions and frictions are inevitable. The key lies in what kind of mentality and how to deal with it. Is it to escape? Has it been shelved? Or face it positively and seek a solution? Please look at the following case analysis.
2. Case analysis
For convenience, I use Xiao Li in the case, Sophie for international students and Xiaoying for China students of international students.
2. 1 case statement
Background: Xiao Li often plays ball on the second floor of Building 2 every Thursday morning and doesn't leave until noon 12:30. Because Sophie and Xiaoying should have volleyball lessons. So they often meet and make eye contact several times.
The first impression of the case 1
When Xiao Li plays ball, he is very active in saving the ball, organizing attacks and often shouting "Good shot" and "My fault". In addition, he is also the main scorer on the field. Therefore, it is often the focus of the audience inside and outside the venue. Sophie sometimes applauds when Xiao Li scores. This time, Sophie accidentally hit the ball into the court while practicing outside the court. Xiao Li helped to pick it up and handed it to her with a smile. Sophie smiled, apologetic and said, "Thank you!" In Chinese. .
Case 2 Sophie is angry.
After playing ball, Xiao Li took a windbreaker coat on the iron hanger on the sidelines. Everyone's trench coats are hung on the same bracket, and Xiao Li's trench coat is at the innermost. He asked, "hello? Would you please let Xiao Li take Xiao Li's clothes? " Then jokingly said, "Hello? Who is hiding in it? " Because so many coats are hung in one place, they look so big that people feel that there is a person hidden inside. Xiao Li asked, looking around at the clothes. As no one responded, Xiao Li picked up the clothes. Get ready to get your clothes. At this time, Sophie and Xiaoying hurriedly trotted over not far away. Xiao Li smiled at Sophie, but she didn't reciprocate. On the contrary, she looks serious. Xiao Li accidentally dropped her trench coat on the ground, but she didn't notice it. Sophie frowned. Seeing Sophie's expression, Xiao Li didn't find her coat again, and she was a little at a loss. He soon wants to hang all his clothes back in place. But it's no use. I tried several times in a row, but nothing worked. Sophie then reached out to help, mumbling. Xiao Li only recognized that Sophie spoke French. And the voice contains dissatisfaction and complaints. Xiao Li was even more flustered, and there was no way to hang up all his coats. This time, Sophie said a word with a heavy tone, which is not very standard Chinese. "Bring it here!" She dragged the clothes away, frowning and looking very angry, facing Xiao Li. Because Sophie's figure is very good, in the process of pulling, Xiao Li's right arm touched Sophie's chest, and she quickly retracted her hand like a conditioned reflex, looking embarrassed. This move made Sophie turn her head and stare at Xiao Li, who felt too hot to look directly at each other. At this time, Xiao Li's classmate Tang Ning picked up the windbreaker on the ground and prepared to pat the ash twice, which was stopped by Xiao Li and taken away. Xiao Li said, "Don't shoot, it doesn't matter. The coat just made it dirty." Say that finish, Sophie hung up her clothes, and Xiao Li told her she was sorry. Sophie ignored it. Xiaoying on the side said, "Never mind, never mind." Sophie squinted at Xiaoying again. Xiao Li took a deep breath and adjusted his mind. Say to Sophie with a very humble attitude and a lovely and naughty tone: "You are so beautiful like La Luen!" "Salad", "Shawadika" and "Oh, wow, wow". The students who are preparing lessons are amused, but these tricks don't seem to work for Sophie, so Xiao Li has to express her feelings at the moment with helpless and apologetic gestures. I was about to leave when I had a brainwave. I made a slight bow first, then landed on my knees slightly, made a gesture like taking a photo, smiled and asked in English, "Can you say' cheese' to me?" Everyone turned to Sophie, Sophie ignored her and turned her back on Xiao Li, so Xiao Li had to leave.
Case 3 Sophie says "Hi"
After the weekend, on Monday, Xiao Li was on her way to a professional class when a girl came up to her. Xiao Li didn't recognize Sophie. When she came to the front, Sophie smiled and said, "Hello!" Xiao Li recognized Sophie and quickly replied, "Salad."
Case 4 Two people have a tacit understanding.
On Thursday, it's physical education class again, and Sophie is outside. When Xiao Li looked back at her, she motioned with her hand. Xiao Li also waved to her. Then, she pointed to Xiao Li's windbreaker hanging on the bracket, pointed to her windbreaker and made a gesture of exchange. Xiao Li understood her meaning, smiled and nodded hard, made an OK gesture and said loudly, "OK! Ok! "
2.2 Case analysis
2.2. 1 Cross-cultural communication stage analysis
The above-mentioned cases of cross-cultural communication between Xiao Li and foreign students can be summarized into four stages, namely, the beginning of friendship, the initiation of storm, positive remedy and friendship again. Let's analyze them one by one.
The first stage-the beginning of friendship
First of all, both Xiao Li and Sophia are highly educated, high-quality and willing to be kind to others. Secondly, it is also a beautiful dream for Sophie to study in China. Moreover, Xiao Li is also a person who loves to make friends; Finally, it was physical education class who gave them contact opportunities in time and space. Through initial contact, both sides showed their own bright spots. Xiao Li's shining point is handsome, healthy, energetic and enthusiastic, which can be seen from Xiao Li's appearance and performance in the case of 1. Such as: actively save the ball, shout the ball well, help people pick up the ball, etc. Sophie's bright spots are beauty, intelligence, kindness and good quality. This can be seen from Sophie's appearance and expression of apology when she applauded outside the court and hit the ball into the court in the case of 1. Since both sides only sent positive messages in front of each other, it is natural for them to be friends.
The second stage-the launch of the storm
First of all, Xiao Li made the mistake of "Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you". He doesn't mind others looking at him and touching his clothes, so he takes it for granted that others won't mind doing so himself. Although I asked in advance, I didn't consider each other's situation. I am an international student, so I may not be quick enough to respond to our words. What's more, the players are dirty. Then, after touching the more sensitive parts of the female body, she showed a wretched look. The last series of funny moves is even more grandstanding. The above behavior gradually escalated Sophie's disgust, first serious, then frowning, then muttering and angrily saying, "Bring it here!" "Eyes staring straight, so that in the end, turn your back on me.
Secondly, Xiaoying said, "Never mind, never mind!" Obviously, based on our values in China, I think I can be forgiven for not saying this. In addition, Xiaoying is Sophie's classmate. She may know Sophie better and know that Sophie is not a narrow-minded person, so she will forgive me, so she boldly asserts or speaks for herself. However, Xiaoying is not Sophie after all, and she has no right to say that it doesn't matter on behalf of Sophie. So Sophie squinted at Xiaoying.
Finally, Xiao Li felt that he had misunderstood, but the other party still showed no signs of understanding. Had to leave. The temporary result is that no one talks to anyone.
The third stage-active remedy
The main cause of this storm is Xiao Li. So, Xiao Li racked his brains to remedy it. First, I said sorry with a guilty face, and then a series of funny polite expressions eased the atmosphere. Finally, I was witty and creative, pretending to take pictures and begging for forgiveness, which not only gave the other party the highest respect, but also knelt down for you. At the same time, leave yourself room for manoeuvre, because this posture can also be a photo, not too low. Finally, he said, "Can you say' eggplant' to me?" On the one hand, it is a photographic term, that is, asking the other person to smile; On the other hand, at this moment, he asked the other party to smile to show his forgiveness for Xiao Li's mistake; It can be described as very classic. But obviously Sophie, who was angry at the time, didn't buy it.
Xiaoying played the role of peacemaker here. Unfortunately, the cultural background is on Xiao Li's side, so Xiao Li's behavior is easy to understand. I believe that when communicating with Sophie privately at ordinary times, she also explained some behaviors of China people, including Xiao Li's behavior, so that Sophie could adapt to the way of thinking of China people and some habits of life and study.
Sophie calmed down afterwards and reviewed the whole process. Sophie is a very smart and kind international student. When she realized that Xiao Li had no intention of invading privacy, she wanted to be frivolous, grandstanding and so on. After taking the initiative to apologize and send a friendly signal, and in a sense, Xiao Li did not bring Sophie substantial harm, even harm. Of course, Sophie's tolerance, open-mindedness and high self-cultivation are one of the more important reasons. In a word, her accomplishment made her pass the value judgment and thought it was a trivial matter. So I met Xiao Li four days later. She took the initiative to say hello and sent a friendly signal.
The fourth stage-returning to friendship
Both sides responded positively to the exchange of friendly signals between Xiao Li and Sophie. Promote the final reconciliation between the two sides. However, while the wound is healing, the scar still exists; If the rope breaks, it will knot. Therefore, the two still face an embarrassing knot. Smart Sophie, through a gesture to Xiao Li, motioned for her to take down Xiao Li's trench coat, put her trench coat on first, and then put Xiao Li's trench coat on her. It is more convenient for Xiao Li to get clothes after playing ball. Xiao Li also got the message. So, two people have this kind of tacit understanding.
2.2.2 Analysis of Cross-cultural Communication Phenomenon
The case involves cross-cultural focus, communication barriers, taboos, cultural shock, non-language and so on. Let's sum it up.
Cross-cultural focus Cross-cultural focus refers to the correct interpretation of different cultures. For foreign cultures with insufficient focus, it should be interpreted as excessive focus; We should pay less attention to foreign cultures that are excessively concerned.
Xiao Li is an optimistic and positive person, but also very confident. However, a poor grasp of the degree of self-confidence will often lead to excessive focus on reading other people's signals. For example, Sophie expressed a friendly smile signal, and Xiao Li interpreted Sophie as liking herself; Sophie seldom likes little Ali, and Xiao Li interprets it as liking herself very much; Sophie thanked her politely, and Xiao Li interpreted Sophie as being moved. In short, in the end, Xiao Li over-focused his overall positioning. That is, it greatly exceeds the real position in Sophie's values. Therefore, it is presumptuous to joke with good friends and say what you can to ordinary friends. So that Xiao Li angered Sophie step by step.
Sophie felt that her privacy and women's dignity had been violated. So negative emotional factors dominate. When people's emotional factors dominate, it is also prone to cognitive imbalance, which in turn leads to excessive behavior. After Sophie got angry, no matter what Xiao Li did later, Sophie interpreted it as a negative side, which eventually led to excessive focus. That's why Xiao Li did so many things to apologize at that time, but it was useless.
Xiaoying's interpretation of Sophie is lack of emphasis. Without really knowing Sophie, she rashly said that it didn't matter to Sophie, which eventually led Sophie to squint at her.
Communication barriers in cross-cultural communication, due to language differences, there are obstacles in the communication between the two sides.
Xiao Li was not fluent in French and English, and was very nervous at that time. Therefore, I can't express my apologies accurately. I can only say more relevant words to express my attention, please each other's mentality and try to resolve the contradiction. But the external form and the content of the statement are words that make people feel inexplicable. Therefore, it is difficult for Sophie to understand what Xiao Li called attention, mentality and mood at that time.
Sophie is not fluent in Chinese and her pronunciation is not standard. Her first reaction was French, so she mumbled French when she was dissatisfied. Xiao Li didn't understand it, so it was difficult to make a correct response. Of course, there are frowning, muttering, talking loudly, and even complaining and cursing. Finally, it conveys rich emotional information. Xiao Li's response is general and not targeted. He can only make up for it by expressing his apology and doing something to make the other person happy.
Cross-cultural Taboos In the process of cross-cultural communication, taboos are scales, which are usually untouchable. Once touched, the consequences are very serious. The foundation of friendly impression laid before is almost subverted.
Xiao Li and Sophie should greet each other and smile when they meet. Such a relationship is healthy and benign. But it was later broken. It is because Xiao Li touched Sophie's taboo. Whether intentionally or unintentionally.
Here, for Sophie, Xiao Li touched two serious taboos. The first is to look at her clothes and hold them on her body, which violates her privacy. Second, RF is commendable for western countries like France. In their culture, they treat RF with an open, healthy and calm mind. In China, most people are still influenced by tradition, and RF is taboo. This caused Xiao Li's embarrassed expression. In China culture, it is a courtesy for a man to touch it carelessly to show embarrassment. In the eyes of westerners, Xiao Li's behavior is equivalent to taking advantage and telling the truth. And it is extremely disrespectful to women.
Cultural shock Sophie experienced a process of micro-cultural shock.
Honeymoon-the good impression that Xiao Li and other classmates gave her, as well as her own yearning for China and her love for physical education class. All these made her feel the beauty and sweetness of Peking University. This period is the honeymoon period.
Depression-Xiao Li touches Sophie's taboos continuously and says something that makes people feel inexplicable. Makes her sick. In such an angry situation, China friends around him actually spoke for China people, saying that it doesn't matter without permission. All these make Sophie feel negative. This period is depression.
Adaptation period-Sophie looks back on the whole process when she calms down afterwards. I adjusted my mentality and point of view, and gradually understood and forgave Xiao Li's behavior. This period is the adjustment period.
Adaptation period-because of this, it is equivalent to making Sophie produce antibodies. You will be immune to similar incidents in the future. I will be able to adapt to the behavior of Xiao Li or other China people in the future. The period after that is the adaptation period. In several cases in this paper, there is no obvious sign that Sophie has reached the adaptation period. I just said hello to Xiao Li according to Sophie's initiative and hung Xiao Li's coat on the outermost layer for him to take. It can be inferred from this information that Sophie has adjusted herself. Therefore, naturally entered the adaptation period.
There are many nonverbal languages in nonverbal language cases.
For Xiao Li, the non-language involved are: playing ball on the court, helping Sophie to pick up the ball, smiling at Sophie, looking at Sophie's coat, not looking directly at Sophie after touching Sophie's sensitive parts, kneeling in front of Sophie and giving Sophie an OK gesture. These actions of Xiao Li are obviously not conveying information in words. It is conveyed by expression and body language. Some of the messages conveyed by these languages are polite, some are offensive, and some are like clowns.
For Sophie, the nonverbal expressions involved are: apologetic expressions, smiles, seriousness, frowning, staring, squinting, turning away, waving and changing clothes. Sophie's actions are obviously not conveying information in words. It is conveyed by expression and body language. Some of the messages conveyed by these languages are politeness, some are discontent, anger, even resentment and hostility, and some convey tolerance and understanding.
2.3 Case summary
In the process of cross-cultural communication with international students, it is inevitable to encounter small frictions. Of course, in most cases, everyone didn't mean it. However, due to the cultural background differences between the two sides, some misunderstandings have been caused. If we call ourselves hosts, we call international students guests. so
As a host, when he doesn't mean to hurt the other party, and the other party has shown obvious unhappy signals. Similar injuries should be stopped immediately. At the same time apologize in time. You can no longer measure your moral standards by your own values, and you can't stop asking for forgiveness because of your face. When apologizing to the other party and asking for forgiveness, there is no hurry to ask the guest to forgive immediately. After all, there will be an emotional period after the guests are hurt. We should give our guests time to think and wait patiently for their forgiveness. When the host and guest are hurt by guests, it is natural to be unhappy at first. But calm down afterwards, you should put yourself in the other's shoes and try to understand each other with a tolerant attitude. Otherwise, it will turn a small misunderstanding into a big conflict. From the news, we saw many conflicts and even bloodshed between international students and local people at home and abroad. We should take this as a warning.
As a guest, you should first do as the Romans do and feel at home. At the same time, we should know something about the cultural shock, know which period we are currently in, and adjust ourselves in time.
Four cases in this paper illustrate the problems encountered in cross-cultural communication and their solutions. Communication is both sides, so the solution of the problem must be the interaction between the two sides. In the process of problem formation, it is often unclear who is more right and who is more wrong. In principle, whoever is the initiator of this storm should actively seek solutions first. In this case, it is obvious that Xiao Li is the initiator of the whole incident. Therefore, he must be responsible. Even if it is possible to act like a clown, it may seem a little crazy to others. But from the final result, it is still worthwhile.
3. Concluding remarks
Through cases, we know that we will encounter many problems in the process of communicating with international students. Difficulties in language communication, differences in living habits and ways of thinking, etc. However, we also have many similarities, that is, we all have a heart for friendship, and we all have gestures, facial expressions and so on that can understand each other. As long as both sides encounter problems, they can restrain their senses and take a positive attitude to remedy them. In the end, the two sides can get back together. In other words, although there will be problems, it is entirely possible for us to get along well with international students.