Zeng Lao once said in the book Education that it is the responsibility of parents to provide a family environment suitable for children's growth and development. Parents should have the concept of parenting and teaching and upgrade step by step. Life is just childbirth. Having a girl is no big deal. Raising is a material need to support children, and it is already very difficult.
Teaching is to educate children to distinguish right from wrong and to be a useful person, which is quite difficult. Guidance is to lead by example, be persuasive, and guide children to be formal and become an upright person. Of course it's hard. He said that it is very rare for ordinary parents to have children and raise children. To further educate children, you must be very cautious as a spiritual mentor, and sometimes you need to restrain your desires and your words and deeds.
Seeing this, I remembered that I once had a primary school classmate. The classmate is a boy and very clever. Suddenly one day, I heard that he had left. The reason for leaving was to steal a TV set from a family in a neighboring village and was killed on the spot by the owner. That year, he was 15 years old.
I was shocked. I thought of my classmate's voice and smile, his family and why he did it. We live in the same street, and he also has a sister and a brother who occasionally pass by his house. It's also good to see his house. I don't think his theft was once or twice. A teenager who dares to break into houses must have succeeded many times before he became bolder and bolder, so that he finally lost his hand and caused a tragedy.
It's easy to have a child, but a little carelessness in the child's growth will lead to different results. My primary school classmate also experienced a bad experience of being stolen, and another classmate's ending was much better and luckier.
Another classmate and a group of peers went to steal bicycles and were caught by the public security organs. Because I was still young, I had to let my parents take it back to take care of it. This classmate's father is a middle school teacher. Seeing that his son made such a serious mistake, he was very sad and blamed himself for being busy with his daily work and neglecting the discipline of his children. Fortunately, my classmate's uncle is an officer of a certain army, who was recruited into the army through internal recruitment channels and became a soldier.
Many years later, students retired from the army and stayed in the local business. After years of hard work, he is now the head of a large enterprise, providing jobs for thousands of local people and becoming a local star enterprise.
The experience of two boys is very embarrassing. As shared in yesterday's article, loving without teaching is definitely more terrible than not loving, and it is more harmful to society. If the parents of the first classmate stopped the child's behavior in time when he stole from home for the first time and taught the child to take the right path, how could he have lost his life so young? The second classmate, because he braked in time and his parents created a good environment for him in time, can set sail again and gain a successful life.
From birth to adulthood, children need their parents' education and must spend a lot of effort. If the education method is wrong, it will not succeed. The method of education is correct, and even a little negligence will lead to problems. It is inappropriate to blame teachers, nannies, relatives, friends or servants for children's upbringing.
What are the main points of raising children? Once old Kan Kan talked, his language was plain and every sentence was true.
What should a qualified father do? What should a loving mother do? Where are the children? We should also do our duty well. Sons should be like sons, daughters should be like daughters, be intimate and respect. The family atmosphere will naturally be harmonious, and a harmonious family will naturally raise peaceful, positive and beautiful children.
If parents can provide their children with a normal family environment and children learn what can be said and what must be kept in the growing family environment, some human tragedies will not happen.
In 2004, the intentional homicide case of Ma Jiajue, a college student, shocked the whole country. While we hate the cruelty of the murderer, we should also see the cause of this incident.
Ma Jiajue was born in a poor family and felt very inferior. In Ma Jiajue's view, the late Shao Ruijie was actually his best friend, and they were always inseparable. Ma Jiajue has no real friends at school. He regards Shao Ruijie as his best friend. But his good friend looked at himself like that, and that kind of accusation became the last straw to crush his self-esteem.
In daily life, there are many quarrels and fights because of disagreement, and even bad things will happen. This shows how important it is to speak well. But why can't we talk about it? It has a lot to do with everyone's growing environment, education level and daily habits.
In the book "Education", Zeng Lao talked about eight major issues and warned parents that since educating children is the unshirkable responsibility of parents, they must pay attention to it. We should provide children with a normal family environment, play various necessary roles in the family, keep abreast of children's growth, adopt appropriate discipline methods, guide basic life skills, cultivate correct life concepts, develop good living habits and promote children's physical and mental health.
When children grow up in a good normal family environment, they will learn what they can do and what they must avoid. All kinds of life experiences are gained from family environment.
Child rearing is far more important than career development. Even if they pursue career development day and night and finally get billions of assets, if their children don't get a good education, they will lose all these assets at once. Li Ka-shing, the richest man in Asia, once said: No matter how successful you are in your career, you can't make up for your failure in educating your children.
Children are growing up and need to adjust different parenting styles at different stages in order to properly adjust their attitudes and make phased changes.
Jackie Chan has made great efforts to become a world-class kung fu superstar with years of hard work in the entertainment circle. He is not only highly sought after at home, but also famous abroad. Many foreign friends praise him and look up to him. His influence is profound. But when it comes to his son Fang Zuming, it is simply a typical case of parenting failure.
Jackie Chan is only reunited with his son's father and son for a few days every year, which is basically a stick education-"This boy is unworthy and has nothing to do. I beat him and scold him every time. "
Once Jackie Chan happened to go home during the day and went to pick up his son himself. The driver told him to finish school at one o'clock. As a result, he waited at the school gate until all the school people left, and he didn't see his son. Helpless, he can only call the driver to ask, only to know that his son has read middle school, but the waiting place is primary school.
Improper educational methods will bring up rebellious children. We can't pay too much attention to career and money and ignore life. Life is a meaning and process of our life, and the cultivation and guidance of life skills is also very important. How many college students can't even fold quilts and wash clothes? Only by thinking, saying and doing well can we have a good life.
Man is a habitual animal. Once they form a habit, it is difficult to change it. Therefore, it is the responsibility of parents to let children develop good living habits from an early age. Including daily life and dealing with people, as well as reading habits.
Zeng always emphasized the importance of a good and normal family environment, so how to provide a normal family environment? The "three chapters of the contract" between husband and wife is very important.
First, parents should have the determination to raise their children.
Raising children requires not only instinctive love, but also rational feelings. Parents should be responsible for their children and the whole society. On the one hand, we should be responsible for the children's future, on the other hand, we should be responsible for the future society in which the children will live in the future. Therefore, once parents become parents, they must make up their minds to educate their children into normal and healthy children.
Second: Parents should treat each other sincerely, love their similarities and respect their differences.
There are no two identical leaves or two identical people in the world. Even twins have different temperaments. As strangers, there are many differences between two strangers, even if they come together because of sweet love.
Both people will have their own strengths and interests. If they want to coexist peacefully, they must encourage each other and make progress together. Different places, mutual respect and appreciation. Like I like reading quietly, my family will not bother me and give me a quiet study space; And the father of the child likes watching TV, and I won't care about him. Even if he watches it late at night, I won't complain. I will rest quietly first.
When two people have different opinions, they should avoid children and communicate and coordinate privately to avoid embarrassment or even confusion.
Third: Parents should not please their children privately behind their backs, so as not to cause children's illusion or misunderstanding of either parent and affect family harmony.
The love that children need is the complete love of their parents, not the love that is defective in one aspect. Therefore, when we are dissatisfied with the other half, don't criticize the other half's fault in front of the children. When a child has prejudice or preference for either parent, it will have a bad influence on the child's upbringing and should be avoided as much as possible.
Ceng Shiqiang is a master of Chinese studies, a master of management in China and the first Chinese in the world. He is known as "the father of management science in China". He said that different societies have different views on educating children. It all sounds reasonable, but each has its own bottleneck that is difficult to break through. What is more difficult to evaluate is whether the educated children can adapt to the future environment.
If you can calm down, carefully read this book, examine your own behavior, seriously think about your responsibilities as a parent, and then correct your daily excessive deviant behavior through comparison, you will certainly be able to take a step further from what Zeng Lao said about raising children. It can also add more confidence and confidence to the upbringing of your children.
Although there is no pre-job training for parents, they will learn from practice. Just like the education of the Zeng family, the education of many successful educators comes from running in with children. They can, and so can our ordinary parents.
We can't help reading, and we can't help believing in books. As long as we keep learning, thinking, adjusting and feeling, we can finally find out the best plan for raising children.
Happy Sunday, happy study, happy sharing, and continue to share tomorrow.