I don't study hard, as if doing anything is more interesting than studying. Facing the college entrance examination, an important turning point in my life, my parents are more anxious and diligent than my students, while my children seem indifferent and don't listen to anything.

Love since childhood, but also varied, eloquent, can not fight, can not scold, say a few more words to reply to parents? Students who don't fall in love now are unattractive antiques? The parents who refuted were speechless.

There are also some teenagers who are addicted to the Internet, playing games, charging money and rewarding anchors every day, which can be described as spending money like water.

If there is a boy at home, parents are most worried that he will go astray, afraid of making bad friends and getting into the bad habit of smoking, drinking or even taking drugs, and going to the road of no return; If there is a baby girl at home, she is particularly worried about the safety of the child and has to keep an eye on it all the time.

In addition, the data of juvenile suicide and crime in recent years are even more shocking. Let's look at two sets of data: some data show that suicide is the first cause of death among people aged 5-34 in China; In the last 10 year of the 20th century, the average proportion of juvenile delinquency in the whole criminal crime in China was 46%. In recent years, this proportion has been rising, with an annual growth rate of over 5%.

As we all know, adolescent children are rebellious. Because of their understanding of this concept, many parents feel that adolescence is not too strict with their children, but in the end they find that their children will still have various problems. Parents? Are you free? Be careful to give it to the baby? Missed a lifetime? .

Another part of the parents who are strict with their children think that they have let their baby go? Get together? Really understand, there will still be such and such problems in the end. Do parents restrict their children too much? No matter how you look at it, parents find it difficult anyway.

In fact, many parents don't care about adolescent children. What should be done to help them get through puberty smoothly?

Adolescence: the second leap in the development of self-consciousness. Puberty refers to the period from 1 1 to 16 years old. Children in this period are in the stage of physical and mental development. Its main feature is the rapid and unbalanced development of body and mind, which is a period of complex development and full of contradictions. According to the latest research by the University of Edinburgh, it takes about 25 years for the brain to mature. That is to say, even if a person has reached the age of 20 and his body is well developed, the development of his brain is only? Rare? However, many contradictions and conflicts are caused by this.

Adolescence is the second leap in the development of one's self-awareness, and children have obviously grown up and begun to pay attention to it? Me? The value of existence will show many different performances from the past. For example, I pay special attention to my appearance and clothes, like to show my personality, have strong self-esteem and attach importance to my ability and academic performance, so as to find my place in the organization.

This leap in self-awareness has brought them a sense of value and existence as independent individuals. Growth is very surprising, but it is precisely because of this strong self-awareness that children often fall into various puzzles. If sexual maturity is accelerated and unsuitable, the exploration and fear of the external environment will eventually appear in the form of external feedback? Projection? Part of it returned to the heart, strengthened and evolved self-awareness, and made another leap.

At the same time, if parents fail to understand this change in their children, they will subjectively bind their children with their own experiences, or on the contrary, there is no principle and bottom line? Let go? Giving children freedom can easily lead to estrangement or even conflict between them? The more management, the more rebellious it is.

How can parents help their children get through adolescence smoothly? Talking to adolescent children requires abandoning the past? Treat young children? In this way, children are asked what to do and what not to do in an orderly manner. It should be based on? Like adults? Communicate with children through dialogue to build mutual trust and affinity.

Babies in this period are between children and adults, belonging to a transitional stage, with a second leap in self-awareness and a strong demand for independence and self-reliance, which requires adults to change their communication patterns.

1, respect children's independent wishes

Children in this period have acquired certain knowledge and independent logical thinking. They are eager to explore independently and take responsibility for their actions. Many parents are afraid that their children are not competent enough and worry that their children are not doing well enough. They always try to make plans instead of children or do them directly, which will cause children's disgust.

Let children do it, even if they make mistakes, they can gain rare experience. From this period on, parents should learn to respect their children's independent wishes.

2. Accept children's emotional feelings

Adolescent children's mood fluctuates greatly, and they often worry about a little thing, and they will also encounter many problems in the process of growing up. These trivial things are likely to be a hurdle and a thorn in the child's heart in the eyes of his family.

Whether the child is happy, sad or angry, parents should avoid saying some sarcastic words at this time, such as? Are you crying for nothing? 、? For such a big thing? 、? It's okay. Take it easy, okay? . These words are actually telling the child that his parents don't accept his emotional feelings and the child feels that he is not understood. He is naturally unhappy, and there will be barriers between parents and children.

3. Don't force children to accept it? Correct answer?

Many parents are fighting? For your own good? Banner, with my own experience in Kan Kan, I hope children can finish their life in their own way, and there is no need to tell them what to do in their work, study and even marriage.

In the eyes of parents? Correct answer? It may not be what children want, and it may not be correct under changing conditions. Children have grown up and are used to seeing and exploring the world with their own eyes. They will re-evaluate the value of some things, including parents' suggestions. Therefore, if principles are not involved, parents will talk less and support more.

4. Consciously protect children's privacy

Adolescent children are ignorant and sensitive, and they are pursuing their own sense of space both physically and psychologically. Parents must pay attention. Some parents rushed in to get things regardless of whether their children were taking a bath or not, and the child's protest was invalid. In fact, even if it is a same-sex parent-child relationship, we should pay attention to protecting the privacy of children.

Some parents open their children's letters privately and throw them to their children every time they finish reading them, which will also greatly hurt their self-esteem. He also has communication and conversation requirements, and the object of his conversation at this time is often his peers. Parents' worries are understandable, but we must grasp the scale.

5. Encourage children to establish independently? Friends circle?

Xiao Yang, a junior high school student, once went to the countryside to live with a classmate. He has several companions. Before going to bed at night, his mother called and asked about the classmate's personal hygiene, which made Xiao Yang feel very embarrassed. He feels that he is a big boy, and his mother's discipline is a bit redundant. He doesn't trust himself or his friends, which hurts.

Parents should encourage their children to form independently? Friends circle? Children who can play together must have something to attract each other. Parents should look at their children's communication behavior with appreciation, not all the time? Persecuted paranoia? Friends who comment on children are most hurt by their own babies.

6. Gradually strip the child from his social circle.

To add the last one, if parents have realized that the child is an adult, at least a big child, don't boss him around like a small follower. As before, tie the child around and take him to class reunion, group play, etc. This deprived him of time for free activities, but he didn't want to do so.

Because it is the wishes of parents, not the wishes of children. If you don't want your child to be rebellious on this issue, parents should learn to peel off as soon as possible and give their children the space and opportunity to make friends independently, instead of being passively bound by their parents.

Finally, parents should study hard when their children enter middle school? Paramedics? Into an identity? A tour guide? This is the benign interaction between parents and children in adolescence.