I want to go back to the old world, find friends in thread-bound books, and visit abandoned ponds and monuments. They will tell me more than my friends in this world. Among the weeds in the sunset, I read an incomplete inscription, only a few words. I read and reread, which is more touching than reading a most beautiful poem. -Zhang Chonghe

Hefei as a child, Suzhou for girls, Shanghai for middle school students, Qingdao for recuperation, Kunming for refuge, Chongqing during the Anti-Japanese War, the marriage in Beiping, and the second half of the United States. Zhang Chonghe's life path represents her life choices and circumstances in different periods.

19 13 may 17, Zhang Chonghe was born in Shanghai and his ancestral home was in Hefei. She is the great-granddaughter of Zhang Shusheng, commander of Huai Army in Guangdong and Guangxi Governor's Office and governor of Zhili, the four daughters of educator Zhang Jifu, and the oldest among the "Hefei Four Sisters".

When Chonghe was born, his mother Lu Yingzhi had given birth to three daughters. Although the fourth child was a boy, he died at birth. In the past, boys were more popular than girls. Before Zhang Chonghe was born, everyone wanted her to be a boy.

A distant relative of the Zhang family in Hefei even sent two maids to send gold and silver as gifts, including a gold lock to be worn around the boy's neck when he was born, so as to bless the soon-to-be-born heir of the Zhang family to live a long life.

But on the day Chonghe was born, two maids went back without saying a word with gifts, and her mother was disappointed. Zhang Chonghe was adopted by her grandparents eight months after her birth and became her adopted daughter.

Li has been widowed for many years and has no children and daughters. She adopted Chonghe and brought her back from Suzhou to her hometown in Hefei for raising. She is quiet, addicted to poetry, familiar with Buddhist scriptures, and charitable, which gives him a good accomplishment and education.

Zhang Chonghe: "When I was four years old, the guests outside asked me,' Who were you born?'" "I always answer:' Grandma.' They always laugh for a while. I just look at them inexplicably and say to myself,' What's so funny about this? Were you not born by your grandmother, or did you fall from the sky?' I've never met anyone closer than my grandmother. "

Raising grandma is a good way to spoil her. She is the first teacher. Zhang Chonghe is brilliant and highly savvy. At the age of four, he was able to recite poems. At the age of six, I can read and recite three-character classics and thousands of words. Our school has classes from 8 am to 5 pm every day, with an hour's lunch in the middle. Except for major festivals, we have a half-day holiday every 10.

It took a little longer to make peace, and grandma paid a lot of money to invite Wu Changshuo's great-grandfather and archaeologist Zhu Weishi, and also invited Mr. Zuo, a juren, to teach her poetry and songs.

In the first class, Mr. Zhu gave Chonghe an article "Biography of Xiang Yu" and asked her to break sentences with a red pen. After that, Chonghe followed Mr. Zhu in writing, reading four books and five classics, and reading Tang poetry and Song poetry.

Teacher Zhu teaches well, chooses his own teaching materials and explains homophones, synonyms, grammar and other contents in time. Usually, as long as you fill in and read ancient books, you just look around, don't explain, and only answer questions. Mr. Zhu believes that "reading a book a hundred times is self-evident; It is self-evident that the sentence is broken. "

/kloc-studied hard behind closed doors in 0/0 years, such as Historical Records, Hanshu, Zuo Zhuan and The Book of Songs. In her later years, Chonghe always felt that these two teachers had laid a solid foundation for her Chinese studies.

Zhang Chonghe: "Two buttonwood trees are as tall outside the study window. With the deepening of autumn, plane trees sometimes fall down. I'm reading Mencius: Mencius sees the beam, Wang Li is on the marsh, Gu Hongyan is an elk, and the king says,' Is the sage also happy about this?' Mencius said to him, "saints take pleasure in it, but saints don't take pleasure in it." ... no ... even with this, "sir, I have to pee. With Mr Wang's permission, I ran out. I picked up a lot of buttonwood trees all over the yard, bagged them, put some in trouser legs, went outside and went back to the study, but my husband kept it from me. "

Chonghe's childhood was locked in the boudoir, and his playmates were just servants' children. She remembers a little boy named Dabao who was younger than her and was very happy with him at ordinary times. One year after the Spring Festival, when he paid her a New Year call, he actually kowtowed to her, which made her very sad. He knows little about the modern new world outside his study. One day, Teacher Zhu was teaching her The Analects of Confucius. Suddenly, several planes appeared over Hefei. He thinks this is a broken kite. ...

Zhang Chonghe recalled: "My brothers and sisters all speak Suzhou dialect, and I also speak Hefei dialect. My grandmother is very knowledgeable and can write poems. I have been influenced by her since I was a child. I have changed several teachers, and I don't remember the teachers before I was ten years old. "

Chonghe lives in an old house with his grandmother, accompanied by a collection of poems. In an article commemorating her children's library, she recalled that from the dormitory to the study, she had to walk through a long alley: "I only think that long alley is too short, so it is unnatural to walk two steps, and there are still tears in her eyes. I am lonelier than all the children. " Lonely Chonghe often faces the crack in the high wall of the study. She says, "I seem to have a lot of sadness hidden in that crack."

Above the study is the Zhangjia Library Pavilion, which contains thirteen classics, twenty-four histories, scripts of the Song and Yuan Dynasties, novels of the Ming and Qing Dynasties, and hundreds of heavy wooden boards. It is a precious 15-volume woodcut of Gu Zi Bian. According to the banquet menu in A Dream of Red Mansions, Chonghe compiled a Dream of Red Mansions cookbook.

The young girl is riding a horse. She needs to get up at 4: 30 in the morning to ride it. When she rode back, the sun had just risen, and people and horses were sweating. The proprietress drew water to wash her face, and the boss rolled in the sand with his horse.

Chonghe recalled: "When I was a child, I could go upstairs to the library and read casually. No matter what drama or novel I am looking for, my grandmother never gets in my way. In fact, nine times out of ten there are erotic stories in her works, and erotic scenes and dialogues abound. The first novel I read was Peach Blossom Fan, and then I read Peony Pavilion and some classical novels. I love watching these works, but I didn't know they could be sung. It was not until I returned to Suzhou and my father took me to the theater to watch Kunqu Opera that I found that I had read a lot of songbooks. I can often recognize a scene I read in a long play at once, or recognize familiar words in an aria. This feeling of familiarity and deja vu led me into the door of Kunqu Opera. "

In Fallen, Zhang Chonghe wrote: "I love the latest toys, but I love the old ones more. The new can only make people feel a sense of freshness, or just a sense of freshness. "

1930, her adoptive mother died. 16 years old, Chonghe returned to Suzhou to attend the Le Yi Girls' School founded by her father.

She is not used to it in Le Yi Girls' School. She has long been familiar with the knowledge in history and Chinese classes, but she knows nothing about mathematics and biology, and she learns English quickly.

The three sisters grew up in the city and have the "style of the times" of new women. They can speak foreign languages, watch movies, wear modern clothes, speak vernacular, know Hu Shi and speak popular words. This new world is strange to her. Brothers and sisters go out for an outing, ride bicycles and play ball together. They don't know the rules of playing and can only be goalkeepers.

When the progressive China people are exploring and learning from western countries, she feels lonely: "My friends in this world are all brand-new super-era figures, and my friends in that world are all in the middle of the pot with a patina." She wrote: "Everyday habits, everything is new, everything can be regarded as lagging behind the times, and this life is simply boring. Then I will dream a little about the life of the ancients and hang it in some old family houses. "

Father Zhang is a fan of Kunqu Opera, so he invited professionals to teach Kunqu Opera to his daughters.

Zhang Yunhe, the second sister, recorded this early story: "It was New Year's Eve ... He (father) said that if we didn't play dominoes and chase the old sheep, we could learn Kunqu from the teacher and make beautiful clothes for us when we sang on stage. Two days later, he hired a teacher for us. Since then, we have learned to sing Kunqu opera in our father's study every week. "

The four sisters formed the Man Ting Qushe, and Chonghe often sang duets with his sister Yuanhe in Dream of Scared Dreams. Big sister Yuan He especially likes to perform on stage. She said, "They like to perform on the stage, but in front of the audience, I am used to being undisturbed and doing my own thing." When living in the Humble Administrator's Garden in Suzhou, Chonghe often sang Kunqu Opera alone on the Lanzhou boat at night.

When recalling the past of National Southwest Associated University, Wang Zengqi also mentioned the characteristics of being full and not loving to get together. He wrote: "There is a person who has never done music with us or participated in the same period, but her singing style has a great influence in the music club."

Zhang Chonghe: "I started learning music very late. When I was a child, I studied at home. I didn't officially enter school until I was sixteen. I entered the Le Yi Girls' Middle School run by my father in Suzhou. At that time, my sisters were all in college, and I was the only girl left at home. I started listening to and learning Kunqu Opera with the Kunqu Opera class in my school. At that time, my father's school taught Kunqu several times a week, with a special teacher and several students studying together, and gradually felt that it was not enough, so my father invited a teacher for me alone. My Kunqu teacher's surname is Shen and his name is Shen Chuanzhi. I call him Mr. Shen, Mr. Shen. He is a well-known figure in Kunqu Opera ... This teacher Shen knows everything, but he can sing all kinds of operas, such as,,, Hua Dan and so on. When he taught me, he was actually not yet thirty years old. At that time, I invited a flute master to listen to songs and sing at home, and spent a lot of time and thought ... "

1933, Third Sister Zhao He and Shen Congwen got married in Beijing, and Zhang Chonghe stayed in Beijing after attending the wedding.

Her family advised her to enter Peking University, so she went to Peking University to sit in. At that time, the entrance examination for Peking University had to take Chinese, history, geography, mathematics and English. /kloc-before the age of 0/6, Chonghe didn't know what geometry and algebra were, so she simply gave up and devoted all her review energy to the other three subjects. On the day of the second year's exam, her family prepared compasses, triangular rulers and other drawing tools for her. She said "useless" because she couldn't even understand the topic.

Chonghe got zero in math, but full in Chinese, especially the composition My Middle School Life, which was well written and greatly appreciated by the marking teacher (Chonghe later said that she compiled the composition). The senior judge of the Judicial Committee (someone refers to Hu Shi, who was then the head of the Chinese Department) hoped to admit this excellent student, but the admission rules clearly stipulated that no one with zero score in any subject could be admitted. The judicial Committee was eager for talent and accepted her. At that time, the Chinese Department of Peking University only admitted two girls.

At that time, The Beijing News reported this in the university news column, but said that the birth name was "Natalie"-that was a fake name deliberately used, and even her middle school diploma was fake, which was sent by her brother Zong Hezuo's friend who was the principal of Ningxia Middle School.

Zhang Chonghe recalled: "When I was in college, I got a zero in math and a perfect score in Chinese, so I got into a daze and got a zero in math, but the Chinese Department insisted on me. I'm afraid I can't pass the exam. I didn't use my own name, but the name' Zhang Xuan'. The funniest thing is that Hu Shi was the dean at that time. He said,' Zhang Xuan, you are not very good at math! Make up for it! How can I make up all the exams? At that time, those who studied liberal arts did not have to study mathematics when they entered the university. Hu Shi is bureaucratic to me! "

In the Chinese Department of Peking University, Zhang Chonghe listened to Hu Shi's lecture on the history of literature and philosophy: "He speaks well and explains it in simple terms." She also heard Qian Mu talk about the general history of China. "Yu Pingbo and Wen Yiduo are my teachers. There is also Shen Jianshi, Shen's younger brother. " At that time, there were many famous Chinese teachers in Peking University, and Zhang Chonghe benefited a lot.

When I was studying in Peking University, I was naughty and lovely, and I liked wearing little red riding hood, so I got the title of "Little Red Riding Hood".

On one occasion, Zhang Chonghe ran into the photo studio, cocked his head and closed one eye, and took a nifty photo. Later, Chonghe took this photo to the school swimming pool to apply for a swimming permit, but the accreditation staff of the venue refused, saying that one eye was closed. Zhang Chonghe quickly interrupted each other: "What, I always like to turn a blind eye to the world. If the visitor is a cyclops, are you depriving others of the right to swim? "

1933, 23-year-old Bian graduated from the English Department of Peking University in the summer and met the Chinese Department of Peking University in the autumn. Bian, who is introverted, began to write letters and poems every day.

Because great changes have taken place in Bian's poetry creation, he began to write love poems. Mr Wen Yiduo once boasted to his face that he didn't write love poems among young people. He himself said that he was always afraid to write about his private life. "Just as I can't express my passion in words in the face of major historical events, the more I touch the inner pain in my private life, the less I want to write poems to express it. In fact, among the gradually expanding personal friends at that time, I did not feel this touch. " But then, in the early autumn of 1933, an exception came.

It is said that Bian's chapter is written for Chonghe:

You stand on the bridge and watch the scenery, and the people watching the scenery look at you upstairs.

The bright moon decorated your window, and you decorated other people's dreams.

Zhang Chonghe recalled that before entering Peking University, he had seen Bian on campus and met him at Shen Congwen's house. "I don't know if this is love at first sight, at least wishful thinking. At that time, Shen Congwen's family had many friends coming in and out. Zhang Jinyi and Ba Jin were editing Literature Quarterly, and a group of young people were playing together. He doesn't play for everyone. He is cheerful and even a little withdrawn. However, just write to me desperately, at least hundreds. "

65438-0935, Zhang Chonghe, a junior at Peking University, dropped out of school and returned to his hometown in Suzhou because of tuberculosis.

1936, Bian returned to his hometown Haimen to attend the funeral because of his mother's illness. Later, he made a special trip to Suzhou to visit and stayed in the Zhang family for a few days. Zhang Chonghe, as a landlord, accompanied him to visit the local places of interest.

Bian recalled this trip to Suzhou in the preface of Chronicle of the Carved Insects. He wrote: "Unexpectedly, after more than three years, we met by fate and found that it was a seed that was cultivated unintentionally or intentionally, and suddenly sprouted, even sprouted. I began to dream well, and I began to feel the joys and sorrows in this respect in private. There is a vague feeling that there is no hope, and there is a feeling that it will still not blossom and bear fruit. It seems that as a paw of slush, it left a memorial and wrote a poem like untitled. " But things didn't end until the untitled poem period. "After this private life, there are still years of long dreams."

1937, Bian compiled his poems into "Decorative Collection", a manuscript, dedicated to ... Chonghe also copied seven poems such as "Broken Chapters" for the poet with silver powder. Bian was infatuated and didn't get married until 1955. In the 1980s, poets went to visit relatives in the United States, and even made a special trip to Chonghe Palace, where by chance, they presented the manuscript of a poem that Shen bought for the circle 40 years ago, and wrote an affectionate essay "Getting Married".

Many years later, when talking about this "relative" with Su Wei, a good friend and student, Zhang Chonghe said, "It's a little hard to talk about relatives. I have never been in love with him at all, so I can't talk about suffering. " In Yong's impression, Bian belongs to the type of "can't be provoked". Once provoked, it will be miserable.

Zhang Chonghe said: "He is very nice, but his personality is not frank and open. He is completely different from me and doesn't agree with me. I will never understand him, and I think he is wordy ... and other irrelevant people have pursued me, but none of them are as serious as Bian's words and last for a long time. I appreciate his kindness, but this kind of thing cannot be forced. I have never been interested in him from beginning to end. I saw him immersed in poetry. What do you think I can do? "

Among these suitors, there is also a slovenly Mr. Fang, the younger brother of his friend. Mr Fang studies Oracle Bone Inscriptions and Jin Wen. When Chonghe was a college student in Peking University in his early years, Mr. Fang often visited her.

He recalled: "Every time he came, he planned to have dinner or chat with me, but because he was too shy, he always accomplished nothing." He always carries a book with him. I asked him to sit down, but he didn't. I asked him to have tea, but he didn't want it. He just stood in my study reading, and then left ... hardly saying a word. "

Mr Fang also wrote to Chonghe, but all of them used Oracle Bone Inscriptions. He said to him, "He writes several pieces of writing paper at a time. I believe it must be very literary, but I can't understand it. " Chonghe called the slovenly suitor a "bookworm". After Chonghe left Beiping, Fang wrote to Shen Congwen, lamenting that "the phoenix went to Taiwan."

After the recovery of Zhang Chonghe, Chu Anping, the Central Daily News, stayed in Britain and was understaffed. Zhang Chonghe went to the Contribution Supplement as an editor and wrote essays, essays and poems, which showed his talent.