Recently, my colleague Xiao Liu told me that she was in trouble. She said that every time the child does something wrong to educate the child, the mother-in-law always obstructs the protection of the child. The mother-in-law also accused Xiao Liu of being too cruel, saying that the child was young and ignorant and did not need the next class. Whenever a child learns a lesson, he runs to his grandmother as if he had met a savior. Because of grandma's protection, Xiao Liu failed to educate his children every time. As a result, the child was lawless and did not listen to Xiao Liu at all. Xiao Liu asked me what to do.

I was very moved by Xiao Liu's situation. Every generation of relatives didn't really realize that this sentence was right until they had children! Distant relatives are deep, delicate and unspeakable feelings. The unrestrained love of grandparents for their grandchildren. I'm afraid of falling in my hand and melting in my mouth. Don't say that grandchildren want toys, even the stars and the moon. If they can take it off, they are willing to give it! Another common phenomenon is that young people go to work and old people take care of their children at home. Children spend the most time with the elderly, and their feelings naturally deepen. It's really an unexplained phenomenon. I believe that most families have the phenomenon that old people spoil their children.

My son was brought up by my grandmother, so I can understand what Xiao Liu said. If the child is picky about food, I will punish him for not eating. As a result, my grandmother was distressed that her grandson was secretly fed. Sometimes when a child makes some small mistakes, I spank him. Grandma protects her grandson and says I am too hard on the child. There are too many such situations. I always feel that it is not easy for the elderly to help the children, and I am embarrassed to criticize my mother-in-law for protecting the children, for fear of breaking her heart. As a result, every time I teach my son a lesson, the little guy asks his grandmother for help and doesn't listen to me at all.

I don't think it can go on like this, or this boy will be lawless. The bigger you get, the more you can't control it. You'll get used to it. I know my mother-in-law is very distressed about her grandson. Her starting point is good, but her method is wrong. So I thought of a way to buy a parenting book for my mother-in-law, saying that reading this book would definitely be good for my grandson. When my mother-in-law heard that she was good to her grandson, she read books every day. The book also says separately that parents educate their children and the elderly can't protect them. If it really works, my mother-in-law told me after reading it that she did something wrong when I was educating my children. Experts say this is extremely unfavorable for children's growth. I'm glad to hear the news! Since then, when I was educating my son, my mother-in-law simply hid in the bedroom and pretended not to see it. My son realized that grandma was not protecting him, and slowly corrected some bad habits under my education.

It is understandable that old people love their grandchildren, and they love their grandchildren from generation to generation. Old people may not know some educational methods. She only knows that her grandson can't be wronged. Therefore, she must do a good job in the ideological work of the elderly in advance and communicate well with the elderly, saying that such blind protection will only affect the growth of children, and it will be lawless to do something wrong without teaching or changing. If you want your children to succeed, you should trim the branches and leaves from time to time. We educate our children for their healthy growth in the future, not for abuse. Patiently doing ideological work for the elderly may not be acceptable to the elderly at first, but telling her scientific parenting knowledge every day is believed to change her mind after a long time.

Never blame the old man. After all, many old people take care of their grandchildren as the focus of their later life. If we rashly accuse or ask the elderly to change their education methods, it will hurt their hearts. After all, the starting point of the elderly is to love children. It's just that the old man's method is wrong, so he must be patient and enlighten him slowly. "Buy a book on scientific parenting for the elderly, or let us read it to her and give some examples of successful education for children. I believe that it won't be long before the elderly will support our approach. To reach an agreement with the elderly and establish a United front, we should not be busy with education, for the elderly are busy tearing down Taiwan Province. When we discipline children, old people should not interfere. When we educate our children, we should keep our mother-in-law away, so that if she can't see the children, she won't have the impulse to stop us from taking care of them.

If a child makes a mistake in principle, even if the old man intervenes, we should continue our education, stick to our own point of view, and let the child know not to break the bottom line and not interrupt the normal education because of the intervention of the old man, otherwise the child will think that no matter what mistakes he makes, he has a backer. The starting point of parents and the elderly is to love their children. Never criticize the old man's "justifying a fault" from the beginning. When communicating, first admit that the elderly love children and unite with the elderly. When educating children, the elderly can't stop them, can't teach you in front of them, and can't deny your authority and correctness, thus setting a unique standard for children. Otherwise, if the family interferes, the child's understanding standard is wrong. In short, when educating children, parents must communicate well with the elderly and reach a consensus. They should not hurt each other because of love. I hope every child can grow up in a healthy family education atmosphere.