It turned out that not long ago, Sasha asked her mother to buy a new skirt, but Sasha's mother felt that the child was not short of clothes, so she cried to the child: "Dad has been working recently and there is no money at home." Don't buy it yet. Later, the female students in kindergarten wore a beautiful little skirt. Sasha felt unbalanced, so she deliberately sprinkled things on other people's clothes.
Sasha made such a mistake, on the one hand because of jealousy, on the other hand, it is important to have a comparative heart. Nowadays, children are more or less competitive, which may be a toy or a beautiful dress.
In the face of children asking for something, many parents will tell their children, "This is too expensive. Let's wait until we have money." This kind of bad education, although it will break the child's mind of wanting something, is also easy to make the child feel jealous and compare with others.
Where does the child's comparison heart come from?
First, parents have poor education.
As life gets better and better, the material needs that children can enjoy are becoming more and more abundant. At the beginning, most parents will choose to accept some requirements of their children. But with the growth of children's age, we will also attach importance to cultivating children's correct values of money.
Go to the supermarket today, the child wants this; Go shopping tomorrow, and the child wants that again. Mother is worried that her children will spend money indiscriminately, so she tells her children that the conditions in our family are average or not very good, and the baby should not spend money indiscriminately. However, when children see that all their friends have a toy, they all want it very much, which makes them more and more jealous and more competitive.
Second, external environmental reasons
Children go to kindergarten and play with children. Recently, a kind of toy is very popular. Seeing that everyone else has it, the child will go home and tell his mother what he wants. The mother felt that everyone else had it, and her children could not be worse than others, so she bought it. But a few days later, another toy became popular, and my mother bought it with the same idea.
Children who want this toy may not really like it. But seeing that other children have it, you can't lack it yourself. Therefore, the bad environment outside is also one of the important reasons for children to keep up with the joneses.
Then what should parents do if children have a heart of comparison?
First, my mother guides me correctly, not crying for poverty.
As we said before, a child may not like what he wants, but other children have it and he wants it himself. Then, as mothers, we should guide our children correctly and distinguish between envy and love. If children really like something and have certain value, then our parents can buy it for their children.
But if it is just envy, parents should consider whether it is necessary to buy this thing. If parents really don't want to buy it, don't cry and refuse the child, but tell the child why this thing is meaningless and why we don't buy it.
Second, the incentive mechanism
Now children's lives are getting better and better, and they have everything since childhood. Satisfying inner desires too easily and too quickly will spoil bad children.
Parents may wish to change the way. We can reward children for what they want. For example, children make progress in their studies, or they are responsible for pushing down garbage every day. In this way, children's material needs have been met, and their studies have also made progress.
Third, parents lead by example.
Mother cream has friends and often buys some beautiful clothes, which are expensive but not distressed at all. But when you buy clothes for your children, you haggle over every ounce and tell them not to spend money indiscriminately. In this contrast, the child's psychology is naturally unbalanced.
We ask our children to do great things, first of all, by themselves. Only by setting an example can children establish good qualities.
Fourth, establish a correct sense of superiority.
When others have it but they don't, children will gradually feel inferior, thus stimulating their need to pursue superiority. For example, when a small partner boasts that he has a big Mercedes-Benz at home, the child will ask himself why he doesn't have one at home.
Parents should communicate with their children more and build their children's sense of superiority on meaningful things. It is not bigger than whose house and car are, but the pursuit of a higher level under the basic economic foundation.