I. Value

1 can improve children's sense of security and happiness. At present, the family structure in China is mainly nuclear family, which has become a development trend. When fathers participate in children's education, the interaction between family members will be more diversified, children's feelings will be more substantial and complete, their psychology will be more practical, and their sense of security will be enhanced. A sense of security is the premise of happiness.

2, can ease the mother's mood. Usually, if the mother is in a good mood, the family atmosphere will be more harmonious. In most families, children are mainly raised by their mothers. After a long time, their mothers will have negative emotions. If there are some problems in the child's growth, or if he has a second child, the pressure will increase, and even negative emotions such as anxiety and depression will appear.

3, can expand children's horizons. Different genders lead to different brain structures. Men and women often look at problems from different angles and solve problems in different ways. Father's participation will provide more development possibilities for children's cognitive construction, and children can learn more and see problems more stereoscopically. Generally speaking, children's cognitive development conditions unilaterally obtained from their mothers must not be as good as those provided by both parents. Of course, in some special families, including single-parent families and left-behind floating families, it can only be made up by other means.

Second, the status quo.

1, Dad became a luxury for children in China.

China's father pushed almost all the tasks of raising children to his mother. Among the interviewees in 1988, 60.7% think that "children nowadays lack their fathers' education", and only 1.3% think that "fathers' education is not lacking". In response to the question, "Who took on more educational responsibilities when you were growing up?" At that time, 46.9% people chose their mother, 28.7% people said that "both parents should bear it", and only 13.0% people said that they were fathers.

A media survey of fathers of 6-year-old children in Beijing found that 80% of fathers think they are busy with work and have no time to associate with their children.

According to the data of "Investigation on the Development of Children in Contemporary China" of China Youth Research Center, when asked "Who can best understand and comfort you when you are in a bad mood", only 10.0% of the children chose their father; When asked, "Who do you spend the most time with in your free time?" Only 6.9% chose their father.

2. Invisible father+anxious mother

The present situation of education in China is invisible father+anxious mother. We always see mothers anxiously waking up their children in the morning, making breakfast and sending them to school in one go. After school, they help them with their homework, check their homework and put them to bed. Every mother is like an ant on hot bricks. When they are busy, their father is nowhere to be found, just like he can't see.

Whether the father stays away from family education in order to earn tuition for his children, or he takes the initiative to work overtime to "earn tuition" in order to stay away from the triviality of family education, every family has its own scale. Mothers also go to work, even if they squeeze time, they will find ways to take charge of their children's education.

Third, educational countermeasures.

1. Be sure to send them SMS and WeChat as much as possible.

The content is very short, focusing on them and their lives (what is the test result? How are you and XXX recently? How is the teacher teaching? What can I do to help my homework? )。 They may not have much reaction at first, but as long as you keep doing it, they will attach great importance to it, even though they may not say it.

2. Join social networks (WeChat, Weibo, QQ, etc.). ) and "add teenagers as friends".

If they don't friend you right away, you don't have to worry, because this kind of thing usually takes a while. Also, try not to criticize, because social network content can be a bit unreliable sometimes (most children don't care what other "friends" reply). Remember, the most important thing is to establish and strengthen your parent-child relationship thousands of miles away.

3. Know their favorite games

Now most online games can compete with people from all over the world. If your teenagers like to play online games, you can play with them and even compete with other fathers and sons.

4. Write a short book "A life lesson for my dear son (or daughter)"

Write some of the most important lessons you have learned from life every week. Don't forget to write down how you learned these courses, which will make them look interesting and help them understand you better.

Write a chapter and show it to them. Be sure to make the content personalized and suitable for children's reading age. Your children need to learn your wisdom, which is a good way to share with them.

5. Support their activities

If adolescent children are about to face some big activities (such as graduation ceremony, contest or graduation party), we might as well give him financial support and let him celebrate in a very special way.

Be sure to attach a letter explaining how proud you are of him and how important it is to behave properly in such an important event.