When I had no children myself, I contacted many parents and listened to what happened between them and their children. There has always been a voice in my heart, why parents can't understand their children so much. It was not until I had my own children that I found that parenting was really not an easy task. Talk to you about the difficulties of parenting.
Modern parents are mainly born after 70 s and 80 s, all in their 30 s and 40 s, which is the main stage of life, the "golden age" of doing business, the main labor force of society and the largest population group.
I once read a passage on the Internet describing the post-70s and post-80s generation: "They are the backbone of the married family, old and young, shouldering the burden of the whole family. They get up early, forget to eat and sleep, work day and night, go up and down, take care of the overall situation, and rack their brains to think about how to increase their income and improve their situation. There is no night, no weekend, no holiday and no rest. " Being overwhelmed by the "N mountains" of houses, cars, tickets, seats, Lao Tzu, wife and children, I always feel that I can't make ends meet and I can't do anything. They hurt their bodies and emotions prematurely in endless social activities, in the comparison that "people are more popular than people", in the struggle they have paid, and in the climb that "walking is more difficult than climbing to heaven". It can be seen how much psychological pressure there is.
Parents' primary school tells you where the problem of family education lies.
In this era of knowledge explosion, this generation of parents is even more helpless in the face of the era when children's personality is prominent. Because most of them grew up in a bad environment, they were only taught to be obedient children, otherwise they would be unfilial, and they grew up in a judged environment. Naturally, educate your children in the same way. When children grow up, they find that times have changed, and modern children don't buy it.
A mother told me that there was nothing she could do about her 6-year-old daughter/kloc-0. She took a fancy to a coat of more than 3,000 yuan. Her mother felt that such expensive clothes did not match her student status and did not agree with her. The next morning, my daughter got up and said that she had not found the clothes she wanted to wear, so she didn't go to school.
Seeing such problems, we usually label children with many labels: children are vain, don't understand their parents, or don't understand. But, as I always say, everything has a cause and effect. There must be a reason why children are in this state today, which has a lot to do with the way our parents educate them.
Parents' primary school found that the problem of family education is really useless!
Summary of parents' primary school experience: learn to appreciate children
I told my mother that the social needs of children aged 16 are very important at this time, and they are very eager to be recognized and appreciated by their peers. This is a normal thing, but the child's behavior today is somewhat biased. It is precisely because of her extreme lack of love "recognition" and "appreciation" food that she will desperately look for a sense of existence outside, and the child's sense of self-worth is very low.
Mom said that she denied restricting her until the first grade of junior high school, and only when she entered junior high school did she find all kinds of problems. Then my mother sighed: I grew up denied, and I really don't know how to appreciate children. There is also a place where modern parents are very anxious, that is, the problem of children reading. In every lecture, almost everyone will be asked a question: children don't like doing homework and are not interested in learning. I deeply feel the anxiety and anxiety state revealed in my parents' words.
My neighbor told me that my child resigned after he entered the first grade. If you work, you can't help your children with their studies. Every day, the teacher posts the homework of the whole class on WeChat, which is A and which is B, and which child needs to stay in school at noon, and often receives calls from the teacher. What does your child need to pay attention to? The neighbor said helplessly, if the heart is not strong, there is really no way to calm down. There was once a mother who brushed away her tears as soon as she talked about her children. Children in key schools have poor grades and teachers don't like them. It is often suggested that children are dragging their feet and hope that their children will transfer to other schools. The child has been working hard, but his condition is not very good and his grades have not improved. I receive a lot of cold-eyed ridicule every day, but my child is determined not to transfer, and my mother is very painful. Have fun with your children.
Parents born after 70 s and 80 s are usually elderly people who help take care of their children. In the class, I am often asked about the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, such as parenting, living habits, diet and so on. A very small example, the child is ill, and modern parents have accepted a new concept, that is, they can not need infusion bottles or injections, but the elderly are in a hurry and the water is good and fast. It's all for the good of the children. It makes sense. They often have labor pains and can't say it.
Facing the difficulties of modern parents in raising their children, it is really great to look at it from another angle. When we grow up, we will constantly strengthen our hearts, constantly adjust the pace of children's growth, and properly handle various relationships. In fact, we can choose our own life!