Title "Positive Discipline"

Author [America] jane nelsen?

Sharing person Wang Juan

Reading date is 202 1.0 1.30.

Read the page number 1 15- 130.

Reading plan Chapter 6 "Focus on solving problems"

Reading thinking

Inspirational content: extract/summarize your most inspirational content (more than 1 bit)

1, focusing on solving problems can teach children six benefits:

What do you need to do to learn from your mistakes? How to solve this problem? What needs to be done? Some things can't be completely solved, but what's the best thing to do?

How can we give full play to children's advantages? When problem plans are put forward by children or useful plans are selected through brainstorming, children will be encouraged to use their strength in a constructive and contributing way.

Mistakes are opportunities for learning-let children know that mistakes are not terrible, don't blame yourself for mistakes, and regard mistakes as a way of learning.

How to stop when there is a contradiction and calm down to solve the problem instead of fighting back-this life skill is very important.

How to face unexpected problems creatively instead of giving up trying in frustration?

Cultivate appropriate reactions-the most effective logical inference for children to learn "what to do" instead of "what not to do" is also the solution to the problem.

My understanding: use your own personal/celebrity/book stories to analyze.

Active suspension requires not only children to do it, but also parents to learn to do it. As parents, we often feel irritable because we are anxious, and our emotions will come out. At this time, if our children make mistakes inadvertently, it will detonate their parents' emotions. This is also a card point that "children always try to make mistakes on the edge of being beaten". The fluctuation of parents' emotions makes children at a loss. When we encounter something as parents, it is not only good for us to learn to solve the problem, but also makes our children feel safe every day, instead of being in turmoil.

In the traditional way of disciplining children, parents often pay attention to how to teach their children what not to do or what to do, because others say so.

"Don't touch the hot water, it will burn you", "Don't go there, it's dangerous" and so on. When we say these words, we will find that these places are unnecessary, which will arouse children's curiosity and make them more willing to touch what we think and bring them bad places. As long as we say what we want, children really understand what is right.

If children need to keep making mistakes to attract their parents' attention, the interaction mode between parents and children needs to be changed.

Action perception: write down the goals and plans for follow-up actions.

Many adults' methods of dealing with problems are not only learned from experience, but also taught by their parents when they were young. As a mother, I want to know that after I find my own solution to the problem from my study, I will let my children learn this good solution through my constant exploration and deliberate practice.

Be an emotionally stable mother: An emotionally stable mother is the blessing of a family. A mother's emotional stability can make her children feel safe.

The word "home" first appeared in Oracle Bone Inscriptions. Its original meaning is house and residence, and it is extended to settlement and settlement. Mom is the most important person in this family. As the saying goes, "a good wife is the best feng shui for a family." This is not only reflected in family relations, but also in children's growth education.

When the way of thinking begins to solve the problem, there will be a little leap and different ways to deal with it. The way I used to handle things would make me forget the good things in the past and do inappropriate things because of the inappropriate behavior of the other party. We should adjust our way of doing things in a different way. When two people get along, if the other person is uncomfortable, they should adjust their mentality, adjust their memories to a pleasant sense of memory, and let the good memories fill their brains, which is conducive to saving their ability for the next period.

To quote Jessica, a book friend: People get hurt before they get something. This harvest is positive and good.