How American mothers educate their children: 1: Listen to their children's voices.
Experienced parents suggest that it is a very valuable way to understand their feelings by listening to their children. No matter how big or small your child's problem is, try to find time to listen to what he says right away, instead of letting your child wait until you are free. Talking with children provides us with an opportunity to understand and teach children. Listening to the child's conversation immediately will help win the child's trust, so that the child will be willing to tell us everything about him. It is also important for us to know what children are thinking.
Many parents have no time to ask about their children's lives and discipline them because of their busy work, so three meals a day, especially dinner, often become a good opportunity to educate their children, euphemistically called? Dining table dragon? . However, relevant experts reminded that? Dining table dragon? Not desirable. The dining table is a happy place for family reunion and emotional gathering. If parents use meal time as a classroom to teach their children, it will have a bad influence on their physical and mental health.
Experience 2: Cultivate children's independence
As children grow up, it is important to give them more and more freedom and the right to control their own lives. We can give children the freedom to make decisions on trivial matters first, and then expand the range of things they can make decisions on.
With the growth of children's age and ability, we can let them complete more difficult tasks, so that children can have pride in completing tasks, be more confident and be more self-disciplined. This is really important for us mothers who have only one baby.
Giving children some freedom shows that we trust and respect children, and children will respect and love us more. A mother who does everything instead is obviously not a good mother and can only harm her children. Small as children are, they have their own brains, thoughts and emotions. He is himself.
We just helped him with something when he was very young. Imagine, if a teenager can't tie his shoelaces, will he thank his mother for her hard work in tying his shoelaces for more than ten years? He can only complain why his mother didn't teach him to do such a simple thing.
I once read such a cartoon: a little girl fell and got up by herself. Sister asked you why you are so nice? If you fall, get up by yourself! The little girl said, because mom is not here! ?
The excessive care of parents will become a resistance to the growth of children, which will make the original? I can do it. Son, is it done? I can't? Kid. Parents who care too much will deprive their children of the opportunity to do things, and children will not understand their own experiences! You will gradually lose your courage and courage and become a timid person.
Lesson 3: Spend as much time with your children as possible.
Every child needs to get enough attention from his parents. Every day after work, we should spare some time to participate in children's games, such as playing teachers, ticket sellers or football coaches or car drivers. The best two parent-child activities are reading and playing games together. Therefore, it's best to save time watching TV and use it to read books and play games with children.
Another point is to provide children with various opportunities and expose them to all kinds of things as much as possible. In this way, children can broaden their horizons and enrich their knowledge, and it is easier to choose the development space that suits them best in the future life journey. It would be better if the family could do something together. This not only provides children with opportunities to learn from their parents, but also promotes the communication of family members and promotes family harmony.
In addition to making money, many parents have no extra time to care about their children's real needs and feelings. If they don't know their children's thoughts, it's more difficult for them to guess their behavior. What's the use of waiting for the child to run away and looking for it in a hurry?
Lesson 4: Enough love.
What is the most valuable gift parents can give their children? Love? Generous and unconditional love.
We should try our best to make our children feel that we love him. No matter how serious a mistake a child makes, a mother should have a tolerant heart towards her child.
? Get out. I never want to see you again, okay?
? If you don't listen, I won't want you?
? If you can't do it, don't come to me? .
This will only cut off the emotional connection between children and parents, and let us lose the opportunity to educate and guide children.
Some celebrities and scholars at all times and all over the world are not all so outstanding intellectually, but they can also make great achievements because of the advantages of non-intellectual factors. Moguel, a great philosopher, had an average grade when he was a teenager, but he worked hard and studied with tenacious perseverance, and eventually became a master of philosophy. There are also famous China mathematicians Hua,,. When they were studying in middle school, their intelligence was not outstanding, but they won by personal efforts, stable emotions, high sense of responsibility and strong perseverance.
How American mothers teach their children unconditional love
? Everyone wants to be unconditionally loved and accepted, which is also the best way to influence a person. ? Sally said. Treating children requires the mother to pay such love and grace, so that children can show the good side that already exists in their hearts and help them learn self-control.
Sally mentioned her youngest son Nathan, who was a naughty boy with a strong personality when he was a child. When it's noisy, he will lie on the ground and cry and shout. She often thinks about how to make him behave better and behave more like a gentleman. One Christmas, several important guests came to the family, and the whole family decided to go for a walk in the suburbs with the guests. So, before going out, Sally got everything ready and told little Nathan to put on his coat. Of course, he didn't put it on at last. Not long after being outdoors, Nathan ran to her, clamoring to go home. Sally said with a smile that at that time, she really wanted to hold her son and complain about why he was always disobedient. But instead of doing that, she squatted down and said to Nathan. Ok, mom will accompany you home today, give you a cup of hot chocolate, and we will have fun together. ? At that time, Nathan said in surprise. Mom, is this true? Am I more important than your important guest today? She remembers that in the next 45 minutes, Little Nathan kissed her five times and kept chatting with her, telling all the jokes he remembered. In the next few weeks, neighbors said that Nathan's behavior had changed.
Sally found that little Nathan needed more attention from his mother. If you want your child not to rebel at puberty and to influence him with your dreams and values, you must let him feel unconditional love and acceptance first, and you need to invest a lot of one-on-one time in them when you are young. Therefore, she and her husband have been learning how to play with children, travel together, learn to make pizza, play games or watch movies together every Saturday, read good stories together, learn to praise each other, learn to say words of respect and love, and cook his favorite dishes for children on their birthdays. In this process, parents gradually gain their children's hearts, help them learn to love their parents and others, and tell them that they need to pass on this love and acceptance to them at the same time.
Training children takes the most time.
Sally thinks. Incentive? This gift can help children set up a great person and a grand goal in life. Therefore, she spent a lot of time reading heroic and wise stories to inspire her children, but she never expected her children to be like someone or enter someone. Frame? . And she always sends a copy to the children? Faith? A gift to help them build a moral framework that can face the world and let children know that there is a bigger one? Authority? Tell them in life? What is right is right, even if no one sees it; What is wrong is wrong, even if everyone does it? .
In all this? A gift? Sally thinks that training is the most time-consuming and practical gift, starting with very young children. On the basis of unconditional love, repeatedly teach children all aspects of life, including purpose, interpersonal relationship and correct behavior. No one in the world is more qualified for this job than a mother.
? Unconditional love is not equal to doting. Otherwise, children can't get along well with others when they grow up. ? Sally said that children's hearts need to be taught slowly. When they talk to her in a complaining voice, she will tell him that her mother is allergic to the voice she complained just now and she can't hear. I won't pay attention to you unless you can express yourself normally? ; Or when they really want something, they must learn to say it first? Please. Sally believes that teaching is best used in advance, for example, telling children what their parents want them to do before going to eat in public. If children are still noisy in public, they can be taken to a separate space until they realize their problems and return to their original positions. She believes that many parents always give their children a painful lesson after doing something wrong, which is far less effective than teaching beforehand.
Sally reminds parents that whenever we discipline our children, it is important to remember our goals. The purpose of disciplining children is not to force them to do what we want them to do, nor to make them feel guilty or ashamed, but to set them free and enjoy the fruits of mature life. This means that we should always discipline our children with tenderness, love and patience.
Let children learn to serve others.
In modern society, many parents think it is very important to get high marks, but the training of character and mind is often ignored. Ms. Sally began to let the children know the importance of serving others when they were young. She believes that only by serving others and contributing to society can a healthy self-image and loving interpersonal relationship be truly established.
Once, Sally and her husband participated in community activities. They hope their son Joel can help look after the children in the community. But Joel was very unhappy. Does he think it's a good idea to look after children? Is it cool? Things. Sally told him that no matter how reluctant you are now, you should come with us today and encourage him to use his unique skill-magic when taking care of the children. Therefore, Joel left a very good memory in community service. Hundreds of children surrounded him and enjoyed his game of making coins with his ears.
Many one-child shows now? Self-centered? , service to others and weak social consciousness. Mr. Tao Xingzhi once said: What is the most important education? Education received. Ms. Sally also believes that it is hard to imagine that a child who can't give, care and serve others will grow into a noble person who is useful to society. In the process of serving others, children's self-confidence, sense of accomplishment, sense of responsibility and love will be cultivated. When children were young, Sally assigned housework according to different age groups and guided them to serve the family. For example, on the day of entertaining guests, children are assigned to set the table, manage the dishwasher, stand at the door to meet guests, or communicate with guests, and at the same time manage books at home and keep records in categories. In this way, it is not easy for children to form passive, dependent, withdrawn, lazy and depressed characters.
Sally finally said, mom put these? A gift? Give it to children, not by mouth, but by words and deeds, and children will grow up at an unexpected speed.