First, the influence of family.
Children's first teachers are their parents. They are not only the creators of children's lives, but also the shapers of children's hearts. So we say that family education plays a vital role in children's psychological development.
Many of our parents are eager to "make their children succeed" and "make their daughters succeed", focusing on intelligence. As early as before school, they taught their children to learn foreign languages, play the piano, learn to draw, recite Tang poems and so on. In middle school, they expect their children to get high marks in various science exams, regardless of their psychological development level and endurance, and put too many demands on their children, which exceeds their psychological load. Excessive mental stress and numerous academic burdens have almost exhausted children's opportunities to be naive and humbly accept natural and social influences. However, few parents can pay enough attention to children's mental health problems. Now many parents don't understand that children's mental health is as important as physical health and intelligence. Even many parents don't know their children's psychological training at all. Due to parents' neglect and ignorance of psychological education, children's psychological development and intelligence are seriously unbalanced. Nowadays, many children are ahead in intelligence and backward in psychological development. Especially middle school students at the peak of their physiological development. Family education, which values intelligence over psychology, causes serious congenital deficiency of children's psychological quality. At the same time, parents teach their children by example, and their rewards and punishments are clear. His world outlook, beliefs, thoughts, styles and attitudes towards others play a foundation role in the character of middle school students with strong imitation and lack of selectivity. If a person lives in a family that benefits the world rather than the interests, accepts the education of his parents that "you can only say a little, but you can't throw all my heart out" and takes "everyone cleans his own door and doesn't mind others' first frost" as his life creed, then people who grow up in this family environment must be narrow-minded.
In addition, with the continuous expansion of social openness, the social environment and interpersonal relationships have also undergone tremendous changes, making it impossible for some adults to adjust themselves in time and make appropriate responses. This will lead to drastic changes in one's own emotions, excessive nervous system tension, brain dysfunction, and ultimately psychological disorders. For example, career instability, income decline, frustration in shopping malls, career changes and so on. , are all factors that cause psychological disorders in adults. Adults will inevitably turn this emotion into various irrational behaviors and language to vent at home, while others will turn their failures into unrealistic demands on their children. If the child is in this bad emotional feeling, the brain function will suffer from chronic wear and tear, and finally there will be brain dysfunction, resulting in psychological disorders.
Second, the social impact.
As we all know, today our society is in a period of great change. The influence of social macro-environment on the growth and mental health of middle school students is extremely important. With the improvement of social openness and the modernization of mass media, the capacity of middle school students to accept social information is increasing, and the absolute amount of negative effects is also greatly increased. These negative effects offset the positive educational effects of schools and families to varying degrees. With the acceleration of the pace of modern life, all kinds of competition are becoming more and more fierce, social interpersonal relationships are becoming more and more complicated, and there are more and more factors affecting people's mental health. . Faced with the complicated social situation, the main theme of reform and opening up and some bad thoughts coexist. Many middle school students who are not mature enough to distinguish right from wrong, driven by curiosity, often "suck the essence and suck the dross". Some unhealthy trends in society have affected students' correct understanding of learning and distorted the thoughts of a few students. For example, bad social atmosphere has an impact on the psychological experience of students who are not deeply involved in the world; Unhealthy cultural information corrupts students with poor moral judgment; Business culture attracts curious students and so on. Especially in mass communication, such as propaganda, superstition, books and periodicals, audio-visual products, because of their vivid expression, students are very easy to contact, which is the most harmful. In the face of those vivid and sensible images or plots, they are often subtly influenced by "pleasure". Some middle school students worship chivalrous men, pursue blindness and yearn for anarchism. "Laozi is the best in the world" is their goal, and some middle school students even participate in vicious hooliganism. There are some mixed &; Uot Bookstore uot, Video Hall, Electronic Game Room, etc. , are often consciously located near the school, aiming at middle school students as the object of making money, forming an unsatisfactory social microenvironment, which often makes schools and parents helpless, and even brings very unfavorable negative effects to the mental health development of middle school students. For another example, the unhealthy trend of "going through the back door" to find a job and choose a good job has also had a very bad influence on students, making them mistakenly think that "learning is the same as not learning, learning well and learning badly". Due to the lack of motivation and passive learning, the psychology of "weariness of learning" has gradually appeared. Some middle school students don't even have the will to study at all.
Third, the influence of the school.
The Outline of Education Reform and Development in China pointed out: uot primary and secondary schools should shift from "exam-oriented education" to the track of comprehensively improving national quality, face all students, comprehensively improve students' ideological and moral, cultural science, labor skills and physical and mental quality, and promote students' lively development. "At present, because many middle schools have not implemented the transformation from' exam-oriented education' to quality education, some schools ignore the cultivation of students' psychological quality and only care about their cultural examination results. Some school leaders and teachers keep their eyes on the college entrance examination and senior high school entrance examination, and tirelessly instill in students that "learning mathematics and physics well is not afraid to travel all over the world", "I must get high marks in the exam" and "Who am I afraid of if the score is high?" Publicize the concepts of "top students", "top students", "focus rate" and "online rate" with great fanfare. Over time, students have formed a "consensus" with school leaders and teachers: only by getting high marks and reaching the admission line of key schools are good children and good students. Test scores and entrance grades have become the standard yardstick to measure children's future, and middle school students also regard the setbacks in entering a higher school as setbacks and failures in life. And the teacher didn't store information for them in advance about how to face setbacks and failures. In the face of setbacks in exams and further studies, students will naturally feel afraid, and they will feel desperate at the thought of being reprimanded by their parents or teachers. Some people choose to escape-run away from home, which has caused undue regret to family, school and society. For example, on the eve of the college entrance examination this year, a girl in Jincheng, Shanxi Province committed suicide by jumping into the sea because the college entrance examination was unbearable; In the 2008 college entrance examination, a girl in Zhejiang committed suicide by jumping off a building because she failed the first exam. Examples like this are too numerous to mention! Consistent with the above concept is the excessive academic burden. Today, when the implementation of quality education is strongly advocated, there are still many middle schools whose schoolwork burden is reflected in the "three excesses", that is, long study time, large amount of homework and high learning difficulty. Children are faced with "teachers are full of irrigation and students are full of rotation". Frequent exams, endless make-up classes, a lot of repeated studies, overtime work, day and night, make students exhausted and have no rest at all, leading to psychological fatigue and emotional anxiety.
In fact, we educators have the spirit of selfless dedication, and they are the noblest personality in our country. Teachers love their students deeply. They often hate iron not to produce steel, but sometimes the educational methods are anti-educational, even though their motives are good. According to the author's investigation, at present, a few middle school teachers replace ideological education with warnings, satire, sarcasm, exposing shortcomings and abandonment, replace strict management with simple and rude punishment, and replace incentive education with threats. For example, some teachers find that students' performance and academic performance are against their wishes and say, "Where did you grow a head?" Just a pig! Extreme languages such as "a rotten wood cannot be carved", "250", "rat excrement" and "a black sheep" put mental pressure on him; A teacher found that the students didn't hand in their homework and copied it. A colleague of mine was studying in a well-known junior high school in Wuchang, and a Chinese teacher punished the children to copy their homework at once, which led to the mother and daughter tossing until midnight 1 o! The United States is "abusing prisoners of war" and we are "abusing students" here! Some teachers always say "please parents" and "I don't care about you anymore" to students with shortcomings; Some teachers put underachievers in another book and removed them from their seats. Almost all the side seats, back seats and far seats in the classroom are underachievers. These "mental abuse" phenomena are not intentional behaviors of teachers. Their starting point is to urge students to make progress and become talents, and the result is often counterproductive. Psychologists point out that mentally abused children may suffer more psychological and ideological damage than physically abused children when they grow up, because this is a comprehensive destruction of children's self-esteem and self-confidence, and people with frustrated self-esteem will have various psychological obstacles. In addition, the rapid changes in society also make a few teachers psychologically unbalanced and show anti-educational behavior intentionally or unintentionally. For example, individual teachers attach great importance to the responsibilities of students' parents and develop "relationships" that are useful to them. "Relationships with students" often attract special attention. The result of this situation is that "related classmates" form a kind of egoism, while other students are "fragile" because their parents have no power and influence, so they can only retreat to one side and suffer psychological trauma.
Fourth, students' own reasons.
Due to the law of human physiological development, middle school students are at the peak of their growth and development, and their psychological development is complicated. They pursue a sense of adulthood, like to play "deep" and pretend to be "mature"; Pursuit of sexual intention, like "I am the only one" and "Laozi is the best in the world"; Pursue self-esteem, competitiveness, grandstanding, fame and other psychological goals. However, these psychological goals are contradictory to the dependence in real life. They demand rights, but are unwilling to fulfill their obligations. They want to be loved, but they don't know how to love others. Their self-evaluation ability often lags behind the ability to evaluate others, resulting in the prejudice of "knowing others, knowing friends in secret" and "being strict with themselves". Some students are too confident and conceited to evaluate themselves correctly. Driven by a strong desire for self-expression and vanity, they deliberately behave rudely and even deliberately confront educators, and their behavior often runs counter to the wishes of educators. In addition, middle school students are in the embryonic stage of youth and are prone to puppy love. During this period, middle school students have to experience all kinds of puzzles, contradictions and challenges in psychological development, the most prominent of which is curiosity and mystery about the opposite sex. Because their personality, psychological development and cognitive ability are still immature, those "note love" and "crazy first love" are just impulsive and blind performances in a hazy state. All the students who fall in love are depressed and form psychological barriers. Some are nervous, afraid and shy; Some are depressed, inferior, disappointed, lonely, regretful and angry.
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First, the significance of family education
Theoretically, it is an indisputable fact that a person's growth is influenced by family, school and society. Among these three factors, apart from fulfilling their educational responsibilities, families are also very concerned about the other two factors. So parents have a heavier burden and worry more.
A lot. The purpose is to cultivate children into ideal people who meet the needs of society and satisfy their parents. And what is the standard of the ideal person? At the present high school stage, we should study hard and go to college. This is completely understandable.
The key is how to achieve the goal of this first stage. It should be said that at first, people's opportunities were unequal. Some people are born rich, others are born poor; Everyone is born with the opportunity to receive a good education, while others are born with unfavorable environment. But in our country, in Bayi Iron and Steel, children get equal opportunities when they go to high school. In other words, from now on, the procedural opportunities are the same. The difference lies in the children's own choices and efforts. This is especially true when you go to college or work.
Some people say that intelligence level is the main reason for the difference. Science has proved that the intelligence difference of modern normal people is smaller than that of domestic dogs and hounds. The key is the later education. Including family education and school education and social education that you are willing to accept. Today we are going to discuss family education and other educational contents related to family education.
Family education is irreplaceable because of its consanguinity and environmental factors. "The hand that pushes the cradle is the hand that pushes the future." It refers to the importance and key of family education.
However, family education has its limitations. In terms of subject knowledge, it is stretched. Therefore, its emphasis should be placed on ideal education, moral education, emotional education, etiquette education, habit education, ideological education, psychological education and so on. At the same time, together with the school, understand the situation, grasp the dynamics, and implement cooperative education.
From this point of view, the content of family education is very rich and there is a lot of work to be done. It is not easy to give birth to a child, and it is even more difficult to train a child. The responsibility is great.
Second, the focus of family education.
1, the change of children. Individuality, not generality; Want, don't discipline; Care, don't pay; Enjoy, not work; Self-respect, not respect; Understanding, intolerance; Make excuses, not introspection. . . . . . This is a reality that we have to face. We are caught in the embarrassing situation that the traditional method is invalid and the new method is invalid. "Parents don't listen, the teacher's words are the imperial edict" has become a myth and legend today.
2. Relevant factors affecting learning. The theory of high learning is generally recognized, accepted and regarded as truth. Take care of a little, it is better to take care of the rest. In fact, there are many factors that affect learning. Such as: discipline, will, habits, etc. How are they cultivated? It deserves attention.
Third, the problems that need to be corrected
1, the senior high school entrance examination is done, so you can catch your breath.
So far, I'm not in high school. Even if the score of the senior high school entrance examination has just reached the admission line of Venus High School, the total distance is still different. The average score of each subject is more than 60 points. This 60-point knowledge may be a learning disability or fatal. Therefore, we can only "not eat old capital and make new contributions." This is not a question of learning itself, but a question of thinking. In attitude, high school learning pays attention to purpose, initiative and research. Those who are not determined can't achieve their ambition, and those who are not determined can't achieve their wisdom. Be ambitious. Great energy is only produced for great ambitions. Ambition is not a problem of learning itself, but an ideal problem. Is going to college an ideal or a goal? ) Methodologically, senior high school students pay attention to preview, attend lectures, review, ask questions, discuss, transfer and summarize. Good at thinking, recording, accumulating and expanding. (college entrance examination composition topic: humanistic environment and economic development in our province. Characters and literary images can no longer rely on cleverness or repetition, but should actively learn.
2. Correct attribution.
Everyone has a reason to explain the reasons for poor grades, but not his own. However, the internal cause cannot be blurred and concealed. Parents should have understanding and judgment when looking for reasons. You can't blindly listen and jump to conclusions.
Example 1: A student takes it to school and sends it in class. Found by the leader on duty. Criticize education and refuse to accept it. Ordered to hand it over and said that it could not be found, and the parents sued the school for illegal body search. Find a witness.
Question: (1) Is it good for students to bring them to school?
(2) Should I be in charge if I don't listen in class?
(3) What should parents do at this time?
Example 2: Students have to go to day school on the grounds that they can't sleep, make noise and eat badly. Therefore, parents are busy looking for day schools. The real reason is. You can bring food to his close classmates. Sun Shan failed in the college entrance examination. (Advantages of night assistance, communication and subsequent development)
Parents should master their true thoughts. Can't indulge.
Example 3: Two students are in love and inseparable. When the school finds out, it will report it to the parents. Parents understand, curse first, then reflect and admit. But it will not affect learning. Parents then approved. Top class to regular class to junior college.
Does puppy love affect middle school students' study now? Do you need to ask?
Example 4: The teacher is not good at teaching and attending classes, and some students are not good. The teacher wronged me (recording my speech in class, paying for my homework or not). Students use attribution theory that you can't solve, so that you can't blame him. Parents lose their wisdom and prestige in listening and believing, and unconsciously indulge and encourage bad habits.
Fourth, parents should have countermeasures.
1, go into the child's heart and understand the child's thoughts. Emotion-oriented, decisive correction. (Long hair, dyed hair)
2. Cooperate with the requirements of school teachers and school system.
3, attribution, first try to guide yourself, and then understand the situation and exchange views.
4, often grateful education, emotional education, housework, habit education, etiquette (welfare).
Education.
Please firmly believe that our goals are the same as those of our parents. All for the next generation. Teacher's love is that there is love in strictness, wisdom in strictness, and the right path in strictness. We are working hard in this regard. Parents' love should be kind and moderate, affectionate and righteous. Let's work closely together to cultivate noble people and people who can make a difference.
Like school, family is the main environment for students to grow up. Middle school students are undergoing great physical and mental changes, and their relationship with their families is different from the past. In primary school, families protect themselves. Nowadays, middle school students always want to get rid of their parents' nagging, discipline, intervention and restrictions, draw their own small world, and some even choose to leave. As a psychologist once said: In all stages of life, adolescence is the most worrying. The reason for this is that the problems accumulated in childhood maladjustment will be more obvious and serious in adolescence; Second, teenagers often encounter various special adaptation difficulties in the process of pursuing and establishing themselves during their transition to adulthood. The middle school stage is the most critical and distinctive period in a person's life, and it is also a period of rapid physical and mental development and change. How to spend the "golden age" on the road of life is a subject faced by every family and every middle school student.
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How does family education affect the mental health of middle school students? Our school conducted a questionnaire survey on senior one students in: "What three factors do you think have the greatest influence on your growth so far?" The answer is
(1) The influence of parents accounts for 76.22%;
(2) The influence of other family members accounts for12.8%;
(3) The influence of schools and teachers accounts for 43.9%;
(4) The influence of social reality accounts for 67%;
5. The influence of friends accounts for 34.75%.
It can be seen that the influence of family on the growth of middle school students is very important. The relationship between family education and mental health development of middle school students is discussed from three aspects.
First, family values and mental health of middle school students
A person's behavior is often influenced by values, and he will try to do what he thinks is important. A parent who attaches importance to education will not only do things that are beneficial to children, but also instill important educational values in daily family life. Children's learning progress is valued by parents, and their interest in learning will naturally increase. The improvement of learning interest is manifested in heartfelt curiosity, thirst for knowledge, ambition and so on. In the external behavior, it shows that it pays attention to learning activities, which leads to the goal of behavior and can be active and enthusiastic in various school activities. In the process of learning, students experience the joy of overcoming problems and the satisfaction of acquiring knowledge. Let students feel that the learning activity itself is a kind of enjoyment. These students take the initiative to study at school, and overall, their academic performance is excellent. According to the questionnaire survey of grade one in senior high school in, 77.44% students can study actively without being urged by others. When encountering difficulties in learning, 62.49% people think hard and try to solve them, 9.87% people immediately ask teachers or classmates, and 2.44% people give up. 7.92% of you go home from school to review your lessons, first review your book knowledge and then consolidate it through practice, and do a good job of preview. 37. 19% of you have finished your written homework and previewed your lessons for the next day. 19.5% of you have only finished your written homework. None of the above accounted for 23.7%. "
Generally, parents with high educational level have high understanding and concern for their children's education, so they are diligent in absorbing new educational theories and concepts and applying them to educate their children. Parents with high education level may engage in occupations that require high professional skills, which will affect their children's learning invisibly. Generally speaking, students of Xiamen University and Ocean University have good academic performance, and parents provide their children with more cultural stimuli, such as books and travel. In the questionnaire survey of senior one, 68.9% subscribed to newspapers and 76.82% bought relevant extracurricular books by themselves.
Parents attach importance to family life and pay attention to their children's education and growth. Students behave well in school, study well, have a good mood and have a healthy psychological development. These students feel the importance of knowledge. As they grow older, they constantly explore good learning methods. Their grades are generally rising steadily and their mentality is good. Their study life is full of happiness. From a psychological point of view, these students are healthy and active.
Under the impact of the tide of commodity economy, some people miraculously became rich in a short time. The economic income of intellectuals is far from these people. The phenomenon of knowledge devaluation, unfair distribution and upside down makes some parents think that "reading is useless" and take a utilitarian attitude towards the judgment of educational value. It doesn't matter whether children study well or not, but they are too busy making money by themselves and lack counseling for their children. There are also some parents who unilaterally pursue the enrollment rate of the school, which leads to students' heavy academic burden, lack of comprehensive understanding, dissatisfaction and confusion, and affects their children's disinterest in school life, weariness of learning, psychological confusion, helplessness and even pain. This part of the poor academic performance of students, generally manifested as retreat, self-abandonment, and consciously inferior to others. However, they are not without merit. These students often have a high level of operational skills, and some students show a strong interest in art, but their language and math skills are weak.
Second, parents' expectations and mental health of middle school students
According to research, children's ability development and academic performance are directly proportional to their parents' expectations. Parents have higher requirements or expectations for their children, and at the same time encourage their children when they succeed and punish them when they fail, then their children have a higher chance of success. On the contrary, parents have lower requirements and expectations for their children, so the chances of children's achievement are relatively high. The level of children's academic performance is directly related to parents' expectations of their children's academic performance and the extent to which parents often participate in their children's learning activities.
The questionnaire survey of Grade One shows that the reasons for students' learning motivation are:
(1) Improve the current situation of family life and reward 6% parents who bear the burden of humiliation;
(2) The social competition is fierce, and 55.48% of individuals hope to get an ideal job;
⑶ 15.24% failed to meet parents' expectations;
(4) The competition among students is fierce, accounting for12.8%;
5] For the prosperity and social development of the motherland, accounting for 10.36%.
Students' design for the future;
(1) Studying abroad after finishing high school accounts for 6.1%;
(2) 75.6% of them went to key universities after the senior high school entrance examination;
(3) After finishing high school, they can be admitted to universities, and 6.7% can read books;
(4) Let nature take its course, accounting for 9.75%.
Students' expectations of themselves are closely related to the expectations of society and family. According to Professor Zheng Richang's survey, 70% of the students said that "if they don't do well in the exam, it will be difficult to work with their parents". It can be seen that parents' high expectations are the direct cause of children's psychological stress and anxiety, especially exam anxiety. If parents are too vain, but have no idea about their children's development limits, abilities and interests, and expect their children to surpass their abilities, then children are easily troubled by anxiety under psychological pressure. If school leaders and teachers focus on students' test scores again and concentrate on making students stand out in the exam, students' anxiety will be aggravated. 1998 "Top Ten Survey of Double Ten Middle School Students" questionnaire shows that 43.6% of middle school students' psychological pressure comes from their parents (among them, 15. 1% is misunderstood by their parents, 12. 1% is emotionally discordant, 7.3. 1.9% was forced by parents, 1.9% was criticized by parents, 1 1.3% came from study (among them, 8.8% did poorly in exams, 1.5% had too much homework./kloc
Although parents' expectations are directly proportional to their children's grades, excessive expectations have caused too much pressure and trouble to their children. Parents should measure their children's abilities and give them appropriate expectations within the limits. Under the care of a harmonious family, children will naturally study hard and go all out according to their own expectations.
In key middle schools, there are very few parents who have low expectations for their children. They are indifferent to their children's studies and just want to graduate and find a job in the future. Some parents think that if they have money, they can't go to a higher school. They spend money to send their children to school. They usually have relaxed academic qualifications and low requirements. Children's ability has not been well developed, lacking self-motivation and curiosity.
Thirdly, parental rearing patterns and mental health of middle school students.
Many studies have confirmed that parents' parenting style is an important family factor affecting their children's performance and mental health. Parental rearing patterns directly affect children's life adaptation, learning behavior and psychological development.
According to a survey by Professor Wang Jisheng of Chinese Academy of Sciences, parents' education methods are divided into four categories:
Types of overprotection. Overprotection means that parents do it for them. Parents do housework like nannies and help their children solve all problems. Its essence is doting. This makes children lose their normal and positive personality, and the result is weakness, dependence and incompetence. This psychological characteristic of personality extinguishes children's creative desire, and they need guidance and help from others everywhere, which limits their intellectual development.
2. Excessive interference. Excessive interference is to limit children's words and deeds, draw a frame and set the tone. Children act according to their parents' understanding and wishes, can't go beyond their parents' instructions, lack critical thinking, have no ideas and follow suit. As a result, children rarely have divergent thinking and lack creativity.
Three severe punishments. Although it is not common, it still exists. In other words, educating children is blunt, lacking feelings for children, rude words, simple methods, forcing children to accept their own views and understanding, often satirizing and blaming, and even beating and cursing, which damages children's self-esteem. On the one hand, this kind of education may make children depressed, self-abased, passive and incompetent, which will affect the development of children's healthy personality. At the same time, it may also make children as rude, indifferent and uneducated as their parents.
Four kinds of understanding. This kind of parents can rationally guide their children's growth, and they don't have high requirements for their children's learning, but they ask their children to be honest and useful people in life, and they don't ask their children to get many points in exams or exert pressure, as long as they try their best. Some parents don't watch TV and talk less in order to create a good learning environment for their children. Parents have never beaten or scolded their children since childhood.
To sum up, parents' values, expectations and parenting styles are closely related to children's psychological and behavioral development. Family relationship is harmonious, parents care, children live in a pleasant psychological atmosphere, cheerful and lively personality, smart and generous, capable. On the contrary, there is a lack of care in the family, children are not accepted by their parents, they grow up in depression and fear, and their personalities are often withdrawn, timid, inferior and indifferent. This shows that whether people's psychological activities can be in a positive and healthy state is an important factor to determine children's psychological quality.
Fourth, family quality education can not be ignored.
Dennis, an internationally renowned psychologist and Swiss, vividly compared the growth of a child to the growth of a tree: psychology, like a root, is invisible but important. The invisible part is related to the height and strength of a tree and the survival and development of a person. The viewpoints mentioned by Dr. Denish are as follows: the roots reach 5 years to 15 years, and the growth of trunks and leaves begins after 15 years; The important achievement of children's psychological construction is also in the first 15 years of his life. In the first year of his life, he learned to be self-disciplined, delay his desire, be unselfish and be a good person, which will make his life full of human brilliance. The doctor's words deserve parents' deep thought.
The proportion of doting on parents is over 30%. These parents think that they work hard to make money. Although their children are satisfied with food, clothing, housing and transportation, they will be sorry for their parents if their grades are not good. As we all know, people are different from other animals because they have thoughts besides eating and wearing. If our family education concept does not change to quality education, then our next generation will have problems in psychological endurance, learning ability, living ability and working ability. Especially the only child, who grew up in the adult world, is a "self-employed" in the family, and they are eager to be respected, trusted and understood. Parents must attach importance to their children's mental health and realize the synchronization of school quality education and family quality education.