Accusations and complaints between parents are common. Parents' anger, frustration and emotions are projected on their children. When children are dragged into a tug-of-war for the love or support of their parents, children may also become the source of quarrels.

For divorced parents, the most important thing to remember is that,

Children are not the object of quarrelling with their partners. Parents need to separate negative feelings about their partners from the way they treat their children.

Avoid fighting in front of them. Make sure they understand that they should not be accused in any form, and they are irresponsible for misfortune and conflict.

For the benefit of children, try to put aside hurt and anger,

And try your best to make them feel loved, accepted and valuable. Parents can do this:

Parents try to be consistent.

Always strive to be a responsible and respected model.

Separate parents' feelings from their actions, in other words, don't make children feel pain.

Is it emotional or expressive for parents' children? Struggling? Be extra vigilant.

Talk to children regularly. Improve communication with your partner and separate differences from discussing the issues that are most suitable for your child.

How to be a good parent after divorce

When parents are separated or divorced, parents may already have some kind of joint parental agreement. Always respect this arrangement. Unless the parents have experienced serious physical or mental abuse, alcoholism or drug abuse, it is the best solution for parents to share their children's life after divorce.

Even if parents live alone now, children should be encouraged to live with their ex-partners and maintain close relationships.

Although it is difficult and exhausting to share responsibility, coordination and decision-making, children are most likely to achieve happiness and success under the guidance of both parents.

Ensure that parents' arrangements are consistent and minimize accidents.

This will help children get care and protection. Peaceful cooperation with parents' ex-partners will teach children the value of compromise and problem-solving together. It is very important to separate the injury and anger that children may suffer because of their immediate behavior, and not to let children have any differences or conflicts.

Maintain regular and good communication with former partners.

Make decisions that affect children together. In terms of children's welfare, try to support each other as a team, solve problems quickly, learn to compromise, don't let small things hinder and upgrade, and always do the best thing for children.

At the time of divorce, if the child is only 0- 1 year old.

Parenting styles and decisions will change with children's growth. Babies, children and teenagers have different needs and expectations. As children's interaction with the world continues to expand, their maturity is also improving.

Parents should always measure and balance their maturity and ability to take responsibility.

And parents allow them to handle their own affairs and freedom.

Babies have very basic needs, and they haven't established a distinction between themselves and their surroundings. They need warmth, rest, safety, nutrition and time to establish contact with their primary caregivers.

Their main development tasks are learning to eat, sleep, adapt to the body and interact with others. They began to build trust.

Therefore, parents should:

Establish procedures for eating, sleeping and caressing.

Learn how to comfort your baby for the best results.

Take care of yourself, sleep and rest as much as possible.

Don't focus on small problems, relax and enjoy your baby.

Soon the baby will be a toddler, and he will start walking around, exploring and interacting.

At the time of divorce, if the child 1-3 years old

At about one to two years old, children begin to learn to walk and talk. Discover the surrounding environment and people more, the child becomes more independent, and carefully test his independence. However, he is still self-centered and may be stubborn. At this age, his language and physical skills developed rapidly, and they learned to make rules in their own world.

Parents can do this:

Support children's attempts to be more independent.

Let him cultivate a sense of ownership.

Set restrictions to ensure their safety and parents' health.

Parents can tolerate his anger and other emotions.

Try to see things from the child's point of view.

Ensure the safety of children in the process of exploration.

Encourage his curiosity.

At the time of divorce, if the child is 3-6 years old

Between the ages of three and six, preschool children will become less self-centered and more aware of their place in the world.

And began to learn to manage their emotions and behaviors. The social skills of preschool children develop rapidly, which lays the foundation for them to go to school. In order to put preschool children on the right path, parents should:

Teach by showing empathy and talking about feelings.

Continuing to establish routines in daily life will comfort preschool children by discovering new things that make them feel scared.

Ensure that preschool children have enough rest and sleep.

Monitor available food, but let preschool children decide how much to eat. Provide smaller regular diet or snacks to prevent persistent unhealthy diet.

Listen carefully to preschool children regularly and ask them to describe their experiences and feelings.

Set the boundary

But when preschool children are disappointed, they should sympathize with him and teach him self-discipline, not force punishment.

Interact with preschool children regularly to determine social time.

At the time of divorce, if the child is in adolescence,

When children are in school and adolescence, they become less self-centered, more harmonious with others, and usually more concerned and cooperative. In their growing years,

Students need more guidance to develop emotional intelligence and self-regulation skills than ever before.

Consolidate the relationship between parents with a reasonable age and let children develop their unique identity.

Children do their own thing.

You need to interact with your peers and spend time with them.

Plan regular family outings or activities to build strong relationships.

Measure children's maturity and demand for independence, and balance rules and adaptability accordingly.

Let children come up with potential solutions and teach them to negotiate and compromise.

Acknowledge and praise children's strengths and achievements.

Let children limit the use and dependence of electronic devices to certain times of the day.

Know your child's friends, their relationships and values.

At the time of divorce, the child was in adolescence.

When children reach their teens 13- 15, they expect their behaviors and emotions to change when they try to settle down. He developed his personality at this point, but he may still be trying to find their stable identity.

The outside world has a growing influence on teenagers, because they make friends, look for role models and expand their contacts through social media, schools, sports and other activities.

At this stage, parents focus on showing respect and positive values, controlling their emotions, balancing freedom and responsibility, and communicating regularly.

Continue to arrange regular conversations and check them every day.

Give freedom appropriately, but know what teenagers are doing, where they are and who they are with.

Try to eat together, especially at dinner time.

Show and encourage healthy self-care, including eating, sleeping and relaxing.

Provide maximum support for young people to strive for and achieve their goals.

Play a more important role than parents rather than friends, guide him, stand firm and provide support.

Continue to hold regular family meetings and outings.