This is for you, please refer to: 1. Do not spoil me. I know very well that I don't deserve everything I want. I'm actually testing you by crying. Don't be afraid to be fair to me. It makes me feel safe. Don't let me form bad habits. At this young moment, I have to rely on you to judge good and bad, right and wrong. Don't make me feel smaller than the real me, it will only make me pretend to be a fool who doesn't match my age. If possible, try not to correct my mistakes in front of others. I will feel humiliated and then go against you. It would be better if you reminded me privately. Don't make me feel that making mistakes is like committing a crime, which will weaken my hope for life. 7. When I say "I hate you", don't take it to heart. What I hate is definitely not you, but the pressure you give me. 8. Don't overprotect me for fear that I can't accept some "consequences". Many times, I need to learn from painful experiences. 9. Don't care too much about my ailment. Sometimes, I just want to get your attention. 10. Don't nag me, or I'll play dumb. 1 1. Don't promise me in a hurry. When you can't keep your promise, I will be sad and despise your future promise. 12. I can't explain things clearly yet, although sometimes I look smart. 13. Don't expect too much from my honesty. It's easy for me to lie out of fear. 14. Please don't be inconsistent in discipline principles, which will make me doubt and lose trust in you. 15. When I ask you a question, please don't perfunctory me or refuse me, otherwise I will stop asking questions and go to other places to seek the answer. 16. When I'm scared, don't think I'm stupid and ridiculous. If you try to understand, you will find how scared I am. 17. Don't imply that you never make mistakes. When I find out that you are not, it will be a great blow to me. 18. Don't feel that apologizing to me is beneath your dignity. A sincere apology will bring me closer to you, respect you more and feel warmer. 19. Don't forget that I like to try it myself instead of being told the result by you. 20. Don't forget that I will grow up soon. It's not easy for you to grow up with me, but please try. My supplement 2011-07-101:06 The so-called willfulness means that there is no constraint on personal needs, wishes or requirements; Resist and disobey the discipline of adults; Don't follow the requirements of adults; Or you promise on the surface, but you don't accept it in your heart. When adults are not around, let your temper come. If left unchecked, wayward children will find it difficult to cooperate with others, get along with others and adapt to collective and social life. Willfulness can be said to be a common problem of only children, which will seriously affect their personal healthy growth. First, the reasons for the formation of children's waywardness 1. Under certain conditions, children's wayward behavior is the result of parents' excessive tolerance and pampering, which is often formed slowly under the tolerance and pampering of parents. However, inappropriate love and relaxed education, unrestrained satisfaction of children's requirements for food, clothing, housing and transportation, and lack of certain life schedules and codes of conduct are hotbeds for children's willfulness. 2. Because of poor self-control, children are emotionally unstable, impulsive and one-sided in thinking. Some parents use rude methods such as reprimanding, beating and cursing to suppress their children's legitimate needs and opinions or treat their children's shortcomings, which makes them rebellious, resists rudeness with stubbornness, vents their dissatisfaction, and even encourages their willful behavior. 3. Children are disobedient, parents' demands and wishes are difficult to realize, and some parents feel helpless, so they let their children go with the flow and become willful over time. Second, pay attention to the "resistance period" during the child's growth. When dealing with children's willfulness, it is very important to fully understand the development law of children's independence. In the process of children's growth, 3-4 years old is the first "resistance period" in life. During this period, children are no longer as obedient as before, and often "make independence" with adults, always trying to get rid of the bondage of adults. Sometimes it seems to be deliberately "making independence" with adults, always trying to get rid of the shackles of adults. Sometimes it seems to be deliberately against parents and teachers. He refuses to do what you ask him to do, and he refuses to do what you don't let him do. Often this situation will last until the age of 4-5, and children will often show disobedience. Adults often say "I don't want to" or "leave you alone" when making certain demands. If adults interfere, children can easily become very irritable. Children's tendency to be independent is often regarded as disobedient by adults. In fact, it is a child's "resistance" psychology, an important symbol of independent personality development and a normal psychological development phenomenon. At this time, if you interfere or scold the child, the child may temporarily become obedient, but at the same time his self-esteem and self-confidence will also be hurt, and the development of independence will also stagnate. The correct way is: guide the situation, teach students in accordance with their aptitude, pay attention to children's rebellious psychology, and at the same time meet and encourage children's reasonable behaviors and requirements; Unreasonable demands on young children should be properly guided to avoid taking tough measures. In fact, it is not a bad thing that children are a little "disobedient". Often such children have a wide range of interests, strong opinions, strong ability to adapt to the environment and healthy psychological development. And a child who especially listens to the arrangement of adults has not met the requirements of the times and is also a problematic child. Third, treat children's willful behavior correctly and calmly. When children make unreasonable and excessive demands, parents should pay attention to taking positive education to divert their attention (1). Children's attention is easily distracted and attracted by new things, and they should be good at shifting their attention from what they insist on to other novel and interesting objects or things. After the child's attention is diverted, he will soon forget the requirements and unhappiness just now. For example, in the toy mall, children must buy a 100 yuan Transformers, and there are already many similar toys at home. At this time, parents should not directly answer whether to buy or not, but guide their children: "There are more interesting things ahead, let's go and have a look." Children generally think that there are better things in the store, so parents can take their children to see and explain while walking, and children will easily forget what just happened. (2) In advance, parents are advised to use the method of "three chapters of the contract" in advance to prevent willful attacks after mastering the rules of children's willful behavior. For example, every time I take my children to the street and pass by a small shop, I always cry to buy ice cream. I should tell my children before going out on the street: "I passed by the store today, so I can take you out for ice cream." (3) Cold Treatment When a child loses his temper or rolls around because the requirements are not met, adults can temporarily ignore it and create an environment where no one can help the child. Don't show love, pity and accommodation, let alone bargain with him. When no one is in charge, the children themselves will feel bored and make concessions. Afterwards, parents simply and seriously explained to their children why they couldn't do it, and encouraged him with words like "I believe you will be obedient in the future". (4) Challenge method uses children's aggressive psychology to stimulate their self-confidence to overcome their willfulness. For example, children are used to not wiping their mouths after eating every meal and say "I don't like wiping" willfully. Parents can say, "Didn't you say you look like Snow White? I think Snow White is cleaner than you. " (5) Appropriate punishment For young children, positive education alone is not enough, and appropriate punishment is also an extremely effective means of education. If children intentionally skip breakfast, parents should neither scold nor threaten, but just put away all the food after meals. When the child is hungry, tell him that hunger is the result of not eating in the morning, and the child will eat on time after he tastes hungry. Generally speaking, once the child's willful behavior appears, you don't have to be too nervous. What matters is guidance. Never pay attention to education from time to time, relax teaching from time to time, and decide educational attitude according to adults' emotions. Don't tolerate children's willful behavior, impermissible behavior and unreasonable demands, and don't relax once. Parents' requirements for their children should be confident that they can reach them and be easily accepted by them. This concept of distinguishing right from wrong will make children feel that adults' educational attitude is firm. Children's bad psychology and willful behavior of "I monopolize", "I dominate" and "obey me" will disappear with the edification of good environment and education.