1. Cultivate children's ability to be alone

Psychologists say: "security is not a sense of dependence." If a child needs a warm and stable emotional connection, he also needs to learn to be alone, such as leaving him alone in a safe room. " Children don't necessarily need their parents to be present at all times to feel safe. Even if they can't see you, they will know where you are in their hearts. Experts say that adults need to "respond" to children's needs, not "satisfy" everything.

2. Satisfy children to a certain extent

Dr. Thomas, a child psychiatrist, told us: "Only when a child understands the truth, it is not for him to decide what to get."

Desire; It depends on his ability, so that he can get inner happiness. "The sooner a child understands this truth, the less his pain will be.

The correct way is to postpone it. For example, if a child is hungry, you can make him wait for a few minutes. Don't give in to all the children's demands. Rejecting some of the child's demands will help him get peace of mind.

3. Cold treatment when children are angry

The first way for a child to get angry is to divert his attention, that is, to find a way to make him angry in his room. Without an audience, he will gradually calm down. In addition, when you say "no", don't just say "no", but explain to your child why not. Even if the child doesn't understand, he can understand your patience and respect for him; Parents should agree, not one says yes and the other says no; Prohibit one thing and give him the freedom to do another.

4. Face up to his shortcomings

If children are different from other children, such as children who are too fat, have problems with the shape of their ears, or have extreme personality and behavior, parents must not deny these facts. But take the initiative to discuss with him, find a solution, or accept the reality. In this regard, it is the best way to find an expert, because children generally take the words of experts (such as doctors) seriously.

5. Criticism focuses on things, not people.

Criticize children according to their merits. For example, if a child breaks his mother's jewelry, it is right to say, "Look, if you play something that you have no right to play, such a bad thing will happen.". It is wrong to say "you are so bad". How can you break my jewelry? ”？ You mean not to let mom wear it! "The first sentence clearly told the child that his mistake was" moving something that should not be moved "and did not deny the child's character. The second sentence gave the child a gender, which made him very depressed and hit his confidence in being a good child.

Let him do it.

Let the child do what he can as early as possible, and he will be more active in the future. Don't do too much for children, speak for children and make decisions for children. You can think about it before you get involved. Maybe children can do it by themselves. Don't say, "You can't, you can't!" "Sometimes adults forbid children to do something just because' he hasn't done it'. If things are not dangerous, let the children try.

7. Let children open their hearts.

Communicating with people is a kind of ability, and it is also a kind of ability to speak the truth. If you speak your mind actively and in time, you will avoid doing something dark. If it is not controlled and avoided in time, it will continue to be even more terrible. Say more positive words: "We are really happy together, aren't we?" ""We are so lucky! " "Don't be sad, we will do better next time.

8. Emphasize what you get and know how to love.

Affection and friendship, sensory enjoyment, strengthen these "gains" and let him know that he is enjoying it when he is enjoying it. Strengthen his understanding: I have a lot, and what I have is precious. He must know that these relatives are kind to him, and it is unnecessary and unnecessary. No one in this world owes anyone. It is an adult's responsibility to give him love, and he should know how to be grateful. There is no rest in this world. He must understand that what his parents gave him was not necessities, not habits, but love.

9. You must know how to respect others.

No matter what kind of parents are, no matter what kind of people are around them, children should know how to respect others, and there is no identity difference. Maybe it's dad's friend, maybe mom's colleague, maybe dad's driver, maybe the janitor at the school gate, and so on. These people who are not related to him will be grateful for his efforts.