How should a father educate his children? First, respect children's wishes and choices.
The father of jean dausset, a French immunologist and winner of the Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine, is an excellent doctor. He hopes that his son will inherit his career when he grows up. In order to make his son love medicine, he took his son and medical students to watch the operation, but jean dausset fainted when he saw the bloody operation scene. The father was very angry and slapped his son several times, which made Dorset's resistance stronger. Later, my father asked his assistant to take Jean Dorset adrift on the Loire River, and took this opportunity to introduce Jean Dorset a lot of interesting medical knowledge, and also talked about the sense of accomplishment and happiness that doctors experienced when relieving patients' pain, which made Jean Dorset gradually interested in medicine and finally made the choice of studying medicine. In fact, in real life, many parents love to impose their wishes and choices on their children, which often hurts them.
Interest is the first teacher of success, and the most important factor of success is the child's inner interest. However, today's family education system and school education system have stifled the common interest and motivation in children's hearts-forcing children to do what they want, not letting them develop naturally, but designing blueprints and imposing their wishes on them.
The story of Jean dausset tells all fathers that they must respect their children's wishes and choices. Even if they want to choose the future for their children, they should cultivate their interests first.
Second, be a good partner for children.
"Dad took his daughter by the hand, broke off a willow branch, peeled off the skin gently, made a small willow flute, and then played a melodious nursery rhyme ..." This is a scene that we often see in spring. In a relaxed and happy environment, the father is no longer a strict parent, but a happy playmate of his daughter. In fact, it is not difficult to be a child's playmate. Just squeeze out a little time, put down your parents' airs and actively participate in children's activities: hide and seek, skipping rope, kicking shuttlecock, gobang ... Father often participates in children's activities, and listening to children's voices is the best training for children.
In order to make children grow up healthily, fathers must provide good conditions for their psychological development. In addition to buying books and reading materials suitable for children's psychological development, children can also grow up in a rich and comfortable environment. The most important thing is that fathers should pay attention to their children with great love, spend more time and thoughts on playing with their children, and satisfy their emotional and intellectual desires. Because from the age of 2, children need playmates of the same age. By playing with children and adults of similar age or older, children can learn to compromise, sympathize and cooperate, and develop some new skills, interests and sense of responsibility.
Third, praise is a good lubricant.
"Baby, you are great!" "Son, you are really good!" ..... Timely and appropriate praise will inspire children, improve their self-confidence, help to exercise their will and make them grow up healthily. Feifei likes painting, and her father can always give her affirmation and praise in time for his little progress in painting. Feifei's father is a clever parent. In the process of praise, he did not say that his son "paints really well and will definitely become a painter when he grows up." Instead, children are encouraged to gradually improve their painting skills through warm smiles, friendly touch and friendly cooperation.
American writer Mark Twain said that he "will be happy for two months because of a proper compliment". This sentence tells the common psychological needs of human beings-understanding, affirmation, praise and encouragement. This is a warm spring, shining on people's hearts. Adults are like this, and children need encouragement more. Accurate, timely and appropriate praise will encourage children, stimulate children's self-esteem, autonomy, self-reliance and self-motivation, and also make children clear the direction of progress. Good boy likes to brag. Jess Ryle, a famous American psychologist, pointed out: "Praise warms the human soul like sunshine. Without it, we can't blossom and grow. "
However, don't think that there is no problem with blind praise, but praise children according to the situation. If some parents see their children draw, they will say, "Wow, you draw really well. If you take it to the competition, you will definitely win the championship! " "In fact, parents don't know what their children draw. Moreover, when praise becomes a habit, for children, these praises either become a kind of indifferent evaluation, which makes them disdain and lose their real role, or make them complacent, unable to see their true level and hinder the progress of learning. Therefore, parents should be cautious, timely and moderate when praising their children, so as to achieve the expected results.
Fourth, be good at communicating with children.
Fathers should know their children, which is the premise of educating and cultivating children. The best way to know children is to get close to them, that is, to communicate with them more and chat with them often.
There are many ways for fathers to get close to their children:
A, get close to nature with children, let children know some truths in nature and increase some knowledge.
B, play games with children, communicate with each other through games, and share happy experiences, thus establishing a spiritual bond between father and son.
C, be a good friend of the child, learn to kneel down and talk to the child with an equal attitude, which will make the father get the friendship of the child.
D, occasionally bring some gifts to children and give them a little surprise.
E, often holding family forums can not only create a harmonious family atmosphere, but also allow children to participate in the discussion of family events, which plays a great role in the development of children's self-esteem, self-confidence and thinking ability.
5. Find a good opponent for your child.
"Baby, compare with Chuanchuan to see who runs fast." Colleague Guo Tong often encourages his son to compete with his neighbor's children, or to study or exercise. In competition after competition, he gradually cultivated Chuanchuan's competitive and enterprising qualities. After school, he was even more reluctant to live alone, and he got good grades in all subjects.
Find a competitor for your child, such as a deskmate, a neighbor's child or a classmate whose grades are ahead of your child, and encourage your child to surpass it; Encourage children to do what they want to do, so as to develop their intelligence and give full play to their potential. As fathers, we can give our children some confidence, let them try something new and make them realize what is the best way.
Sixth, guide children with stories.
It is essential for a father to instill more truth in his children at ordinary times, but it is not enough to do so alone. Fathers should give up some unimportant social activities and spend more time with their children. In short, when playing with children, putting them to bed or taking them on a trip, we should use all our spare time to tell stories to children, so that children can learn nutrition from stories and establish a correct outlook on life.
A. Educate children by taking people as an example: the father should tell the children about the pursuit and dedication of truth by scientists, artists and thinkers throughout the ages. These characters and stories can cultivate children's character and make them have ambition and determination to do something from an early age.
B, use science stories to induce children's curiosity: the scientific legends of Archimedes, Newton, Watt, Madame Curie, Hua and others can induce children's yearning for the magical scientific world.
C. Give an answer to the question through stories: encourage children to ask questions, encourage children to tell stories for their own problems, and give an answer to the question through stories.
Seven, develop a good habit of hands-on.
According to expert statistics, the crime rate of people who love labor and those who don't love labor is 1: 10, and the unemployment rate is 1: 15. Therefore, loving labor and officials is useful to children all their lives. Now there is a consensus in the scientific and educational circles: "Only what you hear can be easily forgotten, what you see can be remembered, and what you do with your own hands can be understood." So doing it is the most important thing.