Ideological differences at different levels will externalize disputes and arguments between adults. Paying attention to our surroundings, arguments are almost everywhere: a movie, a novel, a special event and a social problem can all cause arguments; Even someone's hairstyle and makeup will cause controversy. In a sense, the process of arguing different opinions is the process of seeking truth. Debate is to persuade each other in order to seek truth, uphold truth and safeguard truth. However, because either side of the debate wants to overthrow the other side's point of view and establish its own point of view, the debate is different from ordinary speech and is a kind of "hostile" language behavior, so it is called angry words. Therefore, most arguments leave us an unpleasant impression, which is the easiest to frustrate our good communication desire. If we can put more thoughts before the debate and do a good job of "cleaning up" at the end of the debate, in this special communication occasion, we can not only make ourselves feel comfortable, but also explore the truth without hurting interpersonal harmony.
Set a positive tone for the argument. Avoid useless arguments.
When you realize that your thoughts and opinions are different from others, when your words and deeds are criticized, your instinct is likely to stand up and refute. Many meaningless things often happen at this time. In order to avoid unnecessary arguments, at this time, you need to calmly think about the following questions:
Question 1: If you can finally win the argument, what's the point? There is no positive meaning, so you don't have to laugh it off with your angry words. Similarly, when you "challenge" others, you must choose valuable questions that can inspire and educate yourself and others through argumentation, and you don't have to make a fuss about trivial details.
Question 2: Is your desire to have a debate more based on reason or emotion? Such as vanity, showing desire or losing face. If it's for emotional reasons, we can stop here. Similarly, do we ask people questions with emotional factors? If there is, it goes against the essence of debate-seeking truth. Therefore, it is best not to lead others into the wrong path of meaningless argument through such passive hints.
Question 3: Is the other party hostile? Does he have a deep prejudice against you? If so, then in this irrational atmosphere, it is best not to add fuel to the fire. Similarly, if you are in such a state of mind, don't argue with the other party, because you can't come up with a rational argument at this time, and you are doomed to fail at the beginning of the debate.
Let the argument become a happy and peaceful exchange of ideas. Debate is to clarify right and wrong and seek truth. As long as our debate comes from the public mind, we can take a positive attitude and use positive, civilized and appropriate debate language to participate in the debate.
First, establish a correct debate value, that is, actively debate for the pursuit of truth, goodness and beauty. We should have a correct attitude and take a clear-cut stand.
Second, establish a correct moral concept of debate. Base the debate on science. Persuade people with reason and let the facts speak for themselves. Debaters should have profound self-restraint; No sophistry, no privacy; Do not engage in personal attacks; Don't extend "hostility of opinions" to "hostility of people"; If you don't press people with your voice, the reason is not high. If you can express your reasons in a controlled tone, the effect will be as good as thunder.
Third, arguing with people with true feelings, goodwill and beauty can be rational or emotional. Reason and emotion are the two tracks of the train to "positive debate", and they are indispensable. In the debate, "reason" is the purpose of the debate and the guarantee of winning. However, people are emotional animals. If you can convince people with reason and emotion, your debate will become a pleasant and peaceful exchange of ideas. You will end your argument with this sentence: "Listening to you is better than studying for ten years." "You convinced me." What is true is that it not only demonstrates the "truth" of information symmetry and mutual recognition, but also enhances interpersonal harmony and achieves the purpose of positive debate. Both men and women are relaxed and happy.
Some men are always involuntarily nervous in front of women and feel that their behavior is unnatural, because they are afraid that they will not please each other and that their performance will make them unhappy and affect their image. So these men always want to be perfect in front of women, be careful everywhere and be cautious in everything.
In fact, doing so is tantamount to going to the other extreme, because you are hypocritical, always hiding yourself tightly, and even making people think that you are a "real man" or a "tomboy". Some women want to be frank and relaxed when they get along with men, instead of forcing you to act like a gentleman. In fact, men's composure and reliability are not fake. Kindness and harmony are the same, and both need experience to cultivate. How can men properly associate with women?
I am not afraid that my "defect" will be known by the other party. Maybe that's the personality trait that the other person appreciates. A man without "defects" is hard to give people a sense of reality, so he is not worthy of women's love. In fact, the so-called "defect" is the most natural self-expression. Some people are all thumbs in doing things, and some people will blush and heartbeat because of a little thing. These are very natural and personalized.
Men admired by women are often people who occasionally let their guard down, show their true colors and don't pretend. But don't forget, a man must have a heart that doesn't move like a mountain before he can unload his guard. With the central axis of life, he will not deviate from the right path and will not be fooled by bad girls.
The differences between men and women constitute a harmonious picture of Yin and Yang in social communication. Men and women are different in physiology, psychology, emotion, spirit and social style, so the opposite sex attracts each other. However, due to gender differences, a solid barrier has been built between men and women. Young people are divided into two worlds: men's world and women's world. On the one hand, they have a strong desire to communicate with the opposite sex, on the other hand, they are contradictory.
In fact, besides love, men and women can also become good friends, depending on how you grasp the relationship between them. You can't develop friends into lovers, you can't be offside, but you should keep a pure friendship.
In the communication between men and women, due to the influence of traditional ideas and the decision of men's psychological characteristics, most men are active, while women are alert. In fact, women want to make friends with the opposite sex, so as to get something new that they can't get from their same-sex friends. So how do women interact with men?