Sarah used to be a typical Chinese mother. She is the child's "washing machine", "dishwasher" and "rice cooker". No matter how hard and tired she is every day, she won't let the children help.
Until one day, the aunt of the Jewish neighbor came to Sarah's house as a guest. She couldn't stand it, so she criticized Sarah: "Don't bring that unscientific maternal love to Israel. Don't think that you are a mother after giving birth. There are no parents in the world who don't love their children, but they must be measured, principled and methodical. "
So what is the difference between Jewish education and China education? What kind of educational methods did Sarah adopt to bring up all three children so well? Now please continue to explore the secret of Jewish education with me.
Some readers will be curious. What is the difference between Jewish education and China education? In the words of the book: bonfire love VS uterus love.
China's parents always have the idea of being responsible for their children's lives. There is no more suitable way to express this feeling than the picture of "uterus".
When children spend their childhood, parents also establish a "sense of uterine security" in their hearts, and they are cultivated into mediocre and incompetent people over time.
The picture of Jewish parents loving their children is like a bonfire. There is no fixed pattern, nor is it a trick. In the picture, parents light up their children's life and future with bonfires. From a distance, it looks like a new sun rising from the horizon.
Is there a contradiction between the love of parents in the uterus picture and the love of parents in the bonfire picture? Don't! Without womb-like love, there is no temperature, no dedication, no sacrifice; However, you don't need a bonfire to light this love. No matter how hot you are, you are irrational and emotional. You have no credit but hard work and sacrifice, and you lack wisdom and artistic love!
Healthy parent-child love should start from the womb, and light a bonfire during the journey to ignite the survival skills and quality of life in the depths of children's lives. And this kind of bonfire love is what many parents in China lack at present, so the doting of parents in China has become a minefield that affects the quality of children's growth.
So, what kind of love is bonfire love? What are the ideas and methods for Jewish parents to love their children?
Sarah summed up three connotations of Jewish education for us in her book:
First, the paid living mechanism of caring children
"Paid living mechanism" is the essence of Jewish education and survival education. It has achieved good practical results, which not only makes the descendants of Jews smart and rich, but also enables them to carry out their careers like a duck to water no matter where they wander in the world.
Second, delayed satisfaction and appropriate dissatisfaction.
"Delayed gratification" is an important way of parenting education in Israel.
In Judaism, parents will tell their children that if you like to play, you must earn free time, but this requires you to get a good school education and excellent academic performance. Then you can find a good job and earn money. If you earn money, you can play longer and play more expensive toys. However, if you make a mistake, the whole system will not work normally, so you can only play for a short time. Finally, you can only have some cheap toys that will eventually break down, and then you will have to work hard all your life, without toys and happiness.
Take a step back and learn to let go.
All love in this world is for the purpose of aggregation, and there is only one kind of love for the purpose of sharing, and that is the love of parents for their children. The truly successful parental love is to let the child get out of your life as soon as possible, become an independent individual, and face his world with an independent personality. The sooner you retreat and let go, the easier it is for children to adapt to the future.
Today, I will focus on the first connotation: loving children in the paid living mechanism.
In Jewish education, there is a slogan: you have to spend money to earn it yourself. When a child wants his parents to satisfy a certain wish, Jewish parents usually tell the child, "You must satisfy your wish through your own efforts."
When Sarah first arrived in Israel and worked in a very wealthy family, she found that wealthy Jewish families paid more attention to their children's survival education. There is a boy in this family who goes to primary school. Although there are many famous cars at home, they are hardly used to send children to school. Whether it is windy or rainy, the boy will go to school by bus.
If a boy wants to have a pair of sneakers he has long wanted, his parents will advise him to wash the dishes after dinner every day in exchange for his own work.
Jewish education believes that "financial management should start with children." Because financial quotient is not only the education of wealth ability, but also a kind of character education and responsibility education.
In Jewish families, children will help their parents do some housework as much as possible, and of course parents will pay them according to their differences in housework. The child is an only child. What should I do if I don't want to do housework?
Jewish parents usually invite their children's classmates or friends to do housework at home and pay their children's classmates or friends accordingly. You have to spend money to educate your children like this. You must work hard to satisfy your wishes.
In Jewish education, when children enter the senior grade of primary school, parents usually open an independent outdoor room for their children, which will contain a sum of money, which can be one month's salary of parents. Jewish parents are so keen to open an account for their children, not because they have too much money and no place to put it, nor because they love their children too much, but because they have a broader educational goal and cultivate their children's financial quotient.
However, once a child makes a mistake because of improper use, parents generally don't have to help their children through grief easily. They will explain to their children that if they want to have something more valuable in the future, they must give up something that is of little value now. Because only in this way can children understand the serious consequences of excessive consumption and learn to be responsible for their own consumption behavior.
Many parents in China are worried that their children will "deprive" their children of the opportunity to control their money if they spend money indiscriminately. For example, if you want to buy something, ask your parents for it. Parents will also say "parents will keep the lucky money for you" when their children get the lucky money, and all the lucky money will be recovered. Jewish parents think that the disadvantage of doing this is that children will form the habit of asking for money and spending it as soon as they have money, lacking the planning consciousness of consumption.
Sarah is familiar with Jewish education, so she decided to implement the paid living mechanism in her own home. At first, I was worried that the children would have ideas. However, after the children came to Israel, they experienced the difference with the students around them, so they all cheered for the proposal of salad.
Therefore, the Salad family has implemented a paid living mechanism. In order to give children better exercise opportunities. Salad rules: helping mom make spring rolls at home can earn 10% profit. If you go out to sell spring rolls, you have to make a profit of 20%.
The eldest son, Yihua, is introverted, so he chooses to get up for an hour every day and help his mother make spring rolls at home. Because I am usually busy with my homework, I shut myself in the kitchen and concentrate on my research as soon as I can't make spring rolls at first. Finally, he wasted three catties of flour and made three spring rolls. He said excitedly to Sarah, "Mom, I can finally make money with my own labor."
The second son, Hui Hui, took the initiative to sell spring rolls. Because selling spring rolls can not only sleep for an extra hour, but also make a profit of 20%.
But Hui Hui is actually a child of only 13 years old. He stood on the street corner with a basket of spring rolls, at a loss. At this time, Sarah stepped forward and gave the child a great encouragement with her eyes. Tell him everything is difficult at the beginning, just like we rehearsed at home.
So Hui Hui got up the courage and walked into a children's shop. The shopkeeper has been very busy, and Hui Hui waited patiently beside him politely. Wait until the shopkeeper is busy playing before pushing his spring rolls. However, the shopkeeper was not interested in Hui Hui's spring rolls, and waved gently, indicating that he didn't need them. Although he politely refused, this kind of thing is a bit embarrassing to adults, let alone children.
But Hui Hui was not discouraged, because Sarah had vaccinated him at home and taught him some rules of daily communication.
Hui Hui went to another grocery store. The shopkeeper is a Jewish woman in her forties. When she saw Hui Hui coming in with a basket, she asked, "What do children in China need?" Hui Hui said to the shopkeeper very politely, "Hello, would you like to try some China spring rolls? This is China Spring Roll made by my mother. They are very delicious. I think you will like them. " The shopkeeper praised Hui Hui's ability and bought two spring rolls.
This is the first business done by 13 year old Hui Hui. He used to stand outside the shop hesitating and twisting his tongue. After that, he seems to be a brand-new person.
This reminds me of my first experience in sales. Just out of campus, ready to exercise myself, I found a promotion job. On the first day, I went to sell products with my teacher. The teacher left me in charge of this building alone, and he went to another building to sell products.
I stood at the door and hesitated for more than ten minutes before I got up the courage to knock on the first door. But the man in the room is fierce. He shouted at me, "You salesmen really piss me off. What can you do at a young age? Do this! " I was flushed and ran downstairs crying. It happened to be my birthday.
Hui Hui had this experience when she was thirteen years old, and most of our children in China will have this experience when they enter the society after graduating from college. This may be the difference between the two kinds of education.
China's parents are the most hardworking, dedicated, selfless and willing parents in the world. But family education competes not only with parents' physical strength, labor, financial resources, but also with ideas! If the idea is wrong, the whole game will be lost.
In order to live up to our glorious mission as parents, let's start with the change of ideas. Metallic Attraction Kungfu Cyborg always belongs to those who make preparations early, and the children's future life may start from the day when we change the concept of family education!
Ok, that's all for today's sharing. I will continue to share the wonderful contents of this book. Please pay attention to your favorite friends.