I thought that the teacher's words were always more useful than the parents' words, so I comforted her: "Ma has been promoted to the second day of junior high school. Don't worry about him. If he doesn't write well at school, the teacher will criticize him." When the time comes, he feels that his face is not bright, and he will grow up. "
"Don't mention it, not at all. It's not like when we were young. We criticized the students for not finishing their homework. Now it is parents who can't finish their homework criticism and publicly criticize the roll call among parents. Even if you can't see others, it's yourself who has no light on his face. " Lao Li said helplessly.
My first reaction after listening was: huh? Does a lot of responsibility fall on parents? On second thought, the development of students is not one-sided by schools or families, and cooperation can be a "win-win".
Family education is the most important factor in children's growth, and the most important factor in family education is the execution of parents.
Parents' executive power
Executive power is a hot word that frequently appears in modern management. What is executive power? Professional interpretation refers to the operational ability to carry out strategic intentions and achieve predetermined goals, and is the key to transforming enterprise strategy and planning into benefits and results.
Execution is the ability to do things for individuals, to fight for teams and to operate for enterprises. For children, parents' execution is the process of supervising the implementation of measures in the face of children's problems in the process of education.
I see that most parents around me have a strong desire to control their children, but their execution is not enough. For example, thinking about letting children develop a good concept of time, parents do not supervise when implementing it, but rely on consciousness to let children develop so-called good habits.
The result is naturally a mess. Children's nature is to play, and all kinds of rules and habits need companionship and supervision to develop. If you don't do anything, you hope your child will become an ideal, which is a sign of parents' lack of execution. Strong work execution does not mean that parents are strong in execution.
Influence of parents' lack of execution on children
"There is no shortcut to education" is a well-known saying, but not many people really understand its meaning and do it seriously. The failure of family education is not a lack of theory, nor is it that parents don't understand education, nor is it that parents don't love their children, but that there is a problem with the "execution" of parents' education. What impact will parents' lack of execution have on their children?
1, without good study habits.
Lao Li complained that his son didn't do his homework. The root cause is that the child has not developed good study habits. Good study habits are the key to children's grades, and the key is to develop good habits and parents' execution.
If parents' execution is poor and they don't urge their children to develop good study habits, then their children will not have good academic performance in the future. Because the stronger the parents' execution, the greater the motivation for children to learn.
Solution: How to develop good study habits is the key for children to get good grades. Psychologists believe that children worship their parents before 10, despise their parents before 20, understand their parents before 30, and love their parents before 40. Only at the age of 50 can they really understand their parents. It can be seen that before the age of 10, it is the best time to cultivate children's habits, and this age stage is also a stage of poor self-control of children, which requires the supervision of parents. Good habits can be acquired by company. Therefore, before 10, don't use the excuse of "I don't have time" and "I didn't pay attention" to urge the children.
2. There are no rules
My best friend's son's birthday party, a talkative girl with special rules and manners, attracted everyone's attention and praised the girl's mother for raising her children really well. When it comes to "rules", most people think of the words "dull and serious". In fact, good rules are formed by the little things in life.
For example, the old people at the dinner table move chopsticks first, turn off the lights, greet people and so on. As long as the rules are well maintained, everything will be much easier
Solution: Just tell children to follow the rules? Of course not. In the process of forming rules, parents' executive power must exist. When my son was more than 3 years old, he was dissatisfied with others touching his toys and throwing the assembled model on the ground. When dad saw it, he immediately "talked". Then I cried and picked up all the toys and put them away again.
Develop good rules and habits, you can't criticize a few words when you are angry, and you will feel distressed if you help your child later. This will only spoil them. Rules are good living habits and attitudes, which are related to children's future development. Only when parents implement it in place can we make good rules.
The child's execution is very poor.
What does execution mean to children? The answer is mobility. The stronger a person's execution ability, the higher his enthusiasm and initiative for events. Guo Jingjing once mentioned in an interview: "Children with good execution ability have stronger mobility and are more likely to succeed", so she began to cultivate children's execution ability from an early age. Families with poor parents' execution ability have poor children's execution ability.
Solution: Zong, a researcher at Beijing Institute of Education, said: The best time to cultivate children's executive ability is 2 years old. Because of their young age, children's execution is mainly reflected in the performance of completing tasks. Therefore, to cultivate children's executive ability, parents need to improve their own executive ability. Only on the basis of self-discipline and supervision can children have good execution ability.
Parenting tips: Of course, in the process of implementation, parents need to respect their children's feelings, not simply and rudely, and not blindly compromise.
In the morning, my mother came to talk:
The most fundamental reason for parents' poor execution is not lack of time, attention or ability. But because we don't have this awareness of attaching importance to education.
A second-born mother who started writing in the early hours of the morning, I wrote down my heart by hand, and every bit was my parenting experience with my two children. I hope my parenting experience can help you a little!
Related links 1: Ma Yun's "three forces" parenting concept awakens parents' misunderstanding of parenting. I hope you are not one of them.
Related link 2: the difference between "learning tyrants" and "learning scum": parents should pay attention to both aspects, starting from primary school.
Related link 3: also let children socialize with "textbook style"? Children's friends "decrease instead of increase"