The child is almost four years old. Look at him skipping around every day. When he was more than two years old, he often assumed a hip-hop posture, and he danced well. I thought: Do you want to sign him up for a dance class? Give full play to his interest, and exercise by the way to improve his health.

When chatting with my colleagues, I said this idea, and my colleagues immediately said: Report! Report it quickly! Dancing is very popular now! I know several people, and now they all make money by teaching people to dance!

At first, I didn't think there was anything wrong with my colleagues' remarks, because now too many people start to cultivate their children when they are very young. It often takes more than ten years to learn piano, dance and painting. To prepare for entering relevant colleges and universities and engaging in related occupations in the future. Just like my colleague, her daughter is now studying in the Conservatory of Music. According to her, her daughter began to learn piano when she was very young, and it has been more than ten years now.

But on second thought, it seems a bit exaggerated. The child is only four years old, so help him set a good path for future study and employment so soon? And most importantly, isn't it a bit excessive to devote your most precious ten years of growth and study to a certain field?

I think, and I believe, many parents will not support my idea at present. Like my classmates, they want to do everything as early as possible and willingly, so as not to lose at the starting line. What's more important is to lay a solid foundation for future survival, employment and development, so that even if the competition is fierce in the future, they are not afraid that children will find it difficult to get along in society. The subtext of this sentence is: everything is ready! Make full preparations for future competitions!

Second, does good grades mean success?

What is the purpose of education? Is it for the children to find a good job and have a bright future?

I think, in the eyes of our parents in China, this is the ultimate goal of education, in order to find a good job in the future and have a certain economic foundation, so as to live the life we want.

However, can you really live a good life by studying hard?

Let's look at a few cases first:

A, Male: 18 years old was admitted to the Department of Physics of Peking University, and after graduation, he entered the Department of Physics and Astronomy of the University of Iowa for postgraduate study. At the age of 28, he obtained his doctorate through defense. ...

B, boys: children of poor farmers, who were admitted to provincial key high schools with excellent results, were awarded the second prize of provincial "three good students" and "National Physics Olympiad", and then admitted to provincial key universities to study biotechnology. ...

C, boys: excellent physical education in junior high school, long-distance running skills, entered a key high school, failed in freshman seven subjects, and dropped out. ...

D. Girl: At the age of seven, her parents divorced and lived with her mother, with excellent grades and strong organizational skills. She successfully entered the provincial key high school, served as the monitor from junior high school until she graduated from high school. In high school, she was the best debater in the debate, an outstanding student cadre at the provincial level, and had a harmonious relationship with her classmates and teachers. She was admitted to Macau University of Science and Technology. ...

The first person is Lu Gang (199111). Lu Gang, a doctoral student from China who was studying at the University of Iowa in the United States, shot and killed three professors and vice president Ann Clairey, and Shanlinhua, a China student who received her doctorate with Lu Gang. After shooting five people, Lu Gang immediately shot himself on the spot.

The second place is Ma Jiajue; The third place is Han Han;

The fourth is about a key middle school student, which is also a real case. A very good girl, with strong organizational skills, is very good at getting along with others, and is recognized as a good student by all teachers and parents. At that time, she graduated from high school, and her mother made a speech in the whole school as the parents of outstanding graduates. No one expected that in the eyes of outsiders, this excellent child actually committed suicide by jumping off a building. When the news reached the school, the children's teachers, principals, etc. They all felt that their education was a failure.

What does this mean?

I think it illustrates a very simple truth: academic performance does not mean everything. In the eyes of many people, including children who read well in social standards, it does not mean that the road to life will be smooth sailing in the future, such as the first, second and fourth places above. And those who don't do well in school may not come to society, such as Han Han, the third place above.

In fact, academic performance only represents academic performance, but not other qualities of a person, such as mental health, interpersonal skills, problem-solving ability and so on. These are the most basic qualities a person needs in this complicated and changeable world. Without these, what if you get good grades?

Third, utilitarian education is not worth the loss.

Nowadays, for the sake of their children's future, parents mainly divide their children's education into two camps:

One is the fractional theory. The specific performance is to let children enroll in various cram schools.

There is also an interest class. It is for children to have a place to live in the future, so I began to help children enroll in interest classes at an early age, and spent a lot of time, energy and financial resources to accompany them through the long March of learning arts. Like my colleagues and many parents around me.

So, I saw that the children around me were divided into two camps on the road of parental education during their most precious years of study and growth. Either make up lessons desperately to do test papers, or walk on the road of learning various interest classes.

But even so, there are only a few people who are excellent in exams and learning skills!

So most children learn to learn in this way, and they are scolded by their parents at their most precious age of learning. And finally? Except for a few students who have really made achievements in mathematics-admitted to ideal schools and majors, most of them have poor academic performance, but they can barely maintain and pass the exam. They were only admitted to an ordinary school, and then they were faced with the pressure of employment.

What will happen to these children who have grown up in various studies in the future?

Here's an example. Those children who really "learn something" are admitted to ideal schools and majors. Yes, they are "other people's children". They are the envy of people around them. They are excellent and highly educated, and their bright future is just like waving to them in the past.

However, adults who really come out of society and have certain social work experience will know that a unit really values a person's ability, not just his ability, but his comprehensive quality. Even on the whole, character is more important than ability. If a person has not formed basic good character and accomplishment since childhood, he will repeatedly hit a wall and fall down in the workplace.

For example, A graduated from a prestigious school and entered a unit with excellent professional skills and excellent welfare in all aspects, which is difficult for ordinary people to enter. People around him think highly of him. Think that such an excellent person will have a bright future in this unit in the future. But unexpectedly, just after the probation period, I was smashed down. Why? Outsiders don't understand, nor do kids.

But everyone in the unit knows that Xiao's ability is outstanding, but he treats people with great surprise, doesn't understand the world, and doesn't abide by basic etiquette. To give a simple example: when everyone eats a box lunch, they all pour the food left in the bowl into the trash can next to them, and then put the empty plates in a special place for the cleaning aunt to clean up. The little one didn't pour the leftover food. He put the leftovers in the pool with the plates and said plausibly, "This is what a cleaning aunt should do." In this regard, everyone's conclusion is: "This young man is selfish and doesn't know how to respect people. Such a person is not suitable for this unit! "

It can be seen that details betray a person's quality, and a person's quality often inadvertently becomes a turning point in a person's workplace and life.

Excellent high flyers will be eliminated in the workplace because of her short quality. What about most ordinary children? They have grown up, and their parents have never guided and educated them in other ways except "reading only sage books". They are blank in this respect.

Therefore, these children who are paid too much attention to cram schools and interest classes by their parents are destined to learn how to be realistic after they leave the society-this is also the inevitable result of the current fractional education and utilitarian education.

It's not too late, okay? It is too late.

4. What is the aim and ultimate goal of our education?

Our current education can be said that the highest goal is to cultivate a group of exquisite egoists; The overall goal is to cultivate machines that are good at exams; And the bottom goal is obedient and indecisive children.

That is, the most successful thing is to cultivate selfish people. Can parents and successful children in these social eyes go far? If it were you, would you like to deal with selfish people? Few people should want to. Therefore, these selfish so-called gifted children are actually doomed to go far.

And good at exams? Not to mention. Society will naturally eliminate people who only know exams but are not creative.

Not to mention the obedient and opinionated child.

What kind of children are we going to raise?

There was once a hot article "Children Applauding by the Roadside", which told us the answer with personal experience in reality:

My daughter's academic performance is average, and she is in the middle of the class, so she has no future. Her greatest wish is to be a kindergarten teacher. At first, parents were still very anxious, feeling that their daughter had no ambition and ambition of other children, and she was very upset. Until one time, my colleagues got together and found the bright spot that many excellent children in my daughter didn't have: not only ingenious, but also good at solving problems. Two excellent boys, a top olympian and an English expert, have been arguing over the snacks on their plates, but their daughter just easily saved the deadlock by flipping a coin.

In my daughter's class, she is the most popular: helpful, trustworthy, not angry, easy to get along with, optimistic and humorous, and all her classmates unanimously elected her monitor. But in the face of all this, my daughter only said softly, "Mom, I don't want to be a hero. I want to be a person who sits on the roadside and applauds. "

What should be the goal and ultimate goal of our education? To cultivate a person who can adapt to the society and live in harmony with the surrounding environment, the most important thing is to live a good life without affecting others. I think this is the purpose and ultimate goal of our education.

For me, I don't ask my children to be what they are and how excellent they are. I just hope that he can become a person with love in his heart, learn to live in harmony with the people around him and be himself freely. As I said before, I want my child to learn to dance, just hoping to cultivate his interest and add some color to his life. Of course, there is also a little selfishness: by the way, give your body a good exercise.

This is my greatest expectation for children.

What about you?