I. "Ten Theories"
1, often say things like "Mom and Dad love you very much, you are a good boy". Function: Children should not lack love, especially from their parents. It is often said that children can always feel the love from their parents, who give them energy like a mountain and give them a sense of belonging and satisfaction.
2, often say something like "learning is a very happy thing". Function: It can be imprinted in children's minds that learning is a very happy thing, so that children can have the cognitive ability of learning is a very happy thing, and promote children to actively seek happiness in the process of learning, learning and enjoying junior high school.
3. Always say something like "I'm sure I can do it". Role: inspire and strengthen children's confidence, and shape their working ability and sense of responsibility to study and do things independently.
4. Always say something like "You're doing well, you can do it, keep it up, I'm sure". Function: Stimulate and strengthen positive cognitive ability, improve children's self-confidence and enterprise.
Always say something like "You are smart and I am happy for you". Function: The application of suggestion and repeated confirmation imply that children are smart. Constantly confirming that you are smart and relying on your own diligence will definitely work. This is an encouraging way. It is reported that someone has done an experiment. In the same situation, the same two pots of flowers A and B, people often tell A that you are beautiful and I like you very much. Tell B Hua that you are ugly and I don't like you. Three months later, a flower is thriving and blooming brilliantly. And b flowers wither and die. Hint has such a great effect on green plants and has a greater direct impact on people with ideas and goals.
6. Always say things like "I love you for doing that". Function: positive face judgment. When children do something right, inspiring them with such words will create an accurate norm for them, and they will do things according to this norm and against this sample.
7. It is often said that "mom and dad pay attention to their own situation, and you will definitely make an accurate choice, and your diligent parents will see it". Role: highly affirmed, shaping children's self-esteem and self-confidence.
8. I often say things like "When you grow up, you can make your own decisions and allocate your own time". Role: First, pay attention to the excellent performance of children. Secondly, shape the children's independent working ability in a suggestive way, implying that you are an adult, have the working ability to effectively distinguish and choose things, have the power to choose your own things, improve the children's subjectivity, and shape their self-esteem, self-confidence, sense of responsibility and enterprising spirit. For example, if a child asks you if you can watch TV series, if you respond in the above way, the child's mind will think about whether I should watch it or not, and for how long, and he will take the initiative to decide his own behavior.
9. It is often said that "everyone has advantages that everyone needs to learn". Function: It can let children know that everyone has advantages, encourage children to learn from others' advantages, create good habits of learning from others' advantages, and shape children's mentality of learning with an open mind and treating others with an open mind.
10, saying something like "I'm really sorry, I misunderstood you". Function: When parents misunderstand their children, they don't have to escape. A mistake is a mistake, and they don't have to be unwilling to admit it. It is not easy for parents to apologize to their children, but it will make you grow tall and big and set a good example for them.
Second, "Ten Don't Say"
1, don't say, "Learning is a very helpless thing and a very sad thing. You must study hard." Function: People have an instinctive reaction to avoid pain. You think learning is a very difficult and sad thing. If you insist on "hanging your head on the beam, piercing the stock and chilling your heart", you will leave a horrible thing in your child's heart, which will cause anxiety and instinctive behavior to avoid learning. The thought of studying is very painful and painful. How to shape children's interest in learning? On the contrary, if you plant learning in your child's mind, it will be like playing a mobile phone game, and he will be as interested in learning as playing a game.
2. Don't say, "You are my hope, and I am counting on you, ok?" In that case. Function: First, prevent parents' own pressure from being transmitted to children, and prevent children from feeling that if they are not very good, parents will have no expectations and how much work pressure is. The second is prevention. Is it okay? General interrogative sentences, to avoid obliterating children's self-esteem, self-confidence and enterprise.
Don't say such things as "This child is so stupid that I can see that you are in poor health". Function: prevent a sentence from being judged as "stupid" by children and avoid obliterating children's self-esteem, self-confidence and enterprising spirit.
4, don't say "what children know, ask less and care less" and so on. Function: prevent children's self-esteem from being damaged, let children participate in various theme activities, and shape children's hobbies and curiosity.
Don't say anything like "You are not a child of our family, so don't be strong, it's nothing like me". Function: to prevent children from feeling that their parents don't like and look down on themselves, to prevent children from suppressing their self-esteem, to prevent children from feeling that they can't keep up with their parents in anything, to avoid their parents, and to make parent-child communication worse.
6. Don't say things like "I can't speak well, and I can't play without success". Role: children are children, and you can't understand that you are good for them. Even if they want to, they hope you can talk to them approachable. Prevent children from thinking that their parents are domineering and unfair, avoid destroying parent-child communication, and prevent children from thinking that you will not kiss, let alone be amiable and respectable.
7, don't say "children, mom and dad please, you need to be smart and study hard" and so on. Function: To prevent the daily learning tasks that children should be responsible for from being carried on their shoulders at once, to avoid children's illusion of learning for their parents, and to promote children's consciousness and initiative in learning.
8. Don't say things like "so eager for knowledge". Function: Curiosity is the basis of shaping children's interest in learning, and interest is their best teacher, preventing children from suppressing their curiosity and interest in learning and exploring common sense.
9. Don't say things like "I hit you for your own good". Function: It is not normal in logic to hit children or do good deeds, and the mood is understandable, but it is not correct. Prevent children from having the illusion that their parents love their children and need to be beaten for their children, and avoid children from having the feeling that "parents either don't love me or don't have to be nice to me", unfamiliar with their parents and afraid of their parents.
10, don't say things like "Your task is to study hard and don't think about anything else". Function: In children's eyes, all theme activities are mobile games, learning is also a game, and playing games is children's nature. That kind of speech invisibly puts forward learning independently and clearly from children's life, turns it into a very serious matter, grants unique rules to learning, makes children's cognitive ability have the illusion that all the contents of life are learning, and increases children's mental stress and fear of learning. At the same time, it also takes away the opportunity for children to learn professional knowledge and improve their working ability when doing other things, and also takes away the opportunity for children to exercise and practice activities, not to mention shaping their imagination, not to mention shaping their emotional intelligence.