With the deepening of the reform of the education system, I entered the sixth grade and felt a lot of obsession. For example, you must go to the best junior high school, or you must be admitted to the best university, and you must make Tao what everyone wants.
In the fourth grade, I experienced the most anxious days. Worried that Xiaoshengchu would not get into a good school, he enrolled in a famous educational institution to study China Mathematics. Every weekend, I get up early for class, Chinese, math, violin and English. From 8 am to 5 pm, you can only eat lunch boxes at noon. This life lasted for more than two months. Looking at my son's tired little face and turning over the teacher's thick lecture notes, my anxiety has not been alleviated at all, but has become heavier and heavier. In the troubled sleep, I realized that these knowledge points are just the contents that children will naturally master as they grow older, but the basic knowledge that has been strengthened in repeated practice, and the so-called answering routines that are summarized by shortcuts. Can such study achieve the goal? What is my goal? Get good grades? Enter a good junior high school? Get into a good university? I want to go the same way as my parents. I have always felt that the biggest regret in this life is that I am trapped, living the life my parents want, and the life without stimulating my potential is not my favorite life at all.
Handing over children's education to training institutions that produce unified products hastily, I found that I actually wanted to be lazy, to be forgiven, and to follow the crowd. In case of failure, it is also the responsibility of others and the consequences of social atmosphere. In view of this, I decided to refund the tuition fee and give up the tuition fee of 1500 yuan that cannot be returned this semester.
What should I do in the future? We are looking for a good prescription. I study courses online and visit famous teachers offline. Through reading, learning and feeling, I expanded my knowledge, improved my cognitive level, and made clear the purpose of education and the direction of my efforts. The purpose of education is to make children become themselves. This sentence is simple, but profound, easier said than done. What are you? The hardest thing for everyone is to know themselves. Self-knowledge is difficult for many great men, not to mention us ordinary people. People will face many choices and experience many opportunities to know themselves again in their life. Self-knowledge is not achieved overnight, let alone once and for all. What our parents need to do on the road of education is to help their children find ways to know themselves.
Fortunately, the pace of the reform of the national education system is getting bigger and bigger, and the junior high school entrance examination is completely abolished and quality education is returned. I am glad that I corrected my mistake in time and strengthened my choice. What children nowadays lack is inner perseverance and the ability to resist setbacks. They study for their parents, exams and unknown goals, which leads to endless phenomena such as weariness, depression and involution. Although I can't change the big environment, influence the formulation of the national system, or guarantee the success of children, I can do my best to help children find themselves and grow into themselves from the following five aspects.
First, let children understand that if you want to do something, you have to make great efforts and hardships. During the epidemic, I read biographies such as To All Crazy Guys, Rich Americans, Biography of Ren and Biography of Ma Yun, and watched movies such as The Shawshank Redemption, Pinocchio 7, Brave Heart, Dark Hour, Pursuit of Happyness, Beautiful Mind and Good Will Hunting. From these books and movies, children feel that success is not easy, and hard work is the only way to get the life they want.
The second is to let children understand that the environment can change with the inner changes. Through the two books "The Storm on Harvard Road" and "You Fly to Your Mountain Like a Bird", let children understand that no matter how bad the living environment is, no matter how miserable their parents are, they are the decisive factor.
Third, a good learning method will get twice the result with half the effort. By learning from them, I summed up and refined the learning methods suitable for my son, such as how to use pomodoro technique to manage time, such as the steps of reading, how to mark books, how to take reading notes and write reviews, such as how to remember, how to use 15 minutes before getting up and going to bed to strengthen memory, and so on. The application of these methods needs constant practice and accumulation, and needs the companionship and demonstration of parents.
Fourth, set an example by example, so that children are not disgusted. Accompanying is not just spending time, and the theory of parental hierarchy illustrates this problem well. I ask my children to do things by themselves first. For example, when I do my homework, I usually read and write articles in the opposite study. For example, I must read the books recommended to my son first, and then communicate with him when I have my own experience and sentiment. For example, I will make good use of my learning methods, tell him what I have gained, and convince him that slow is fast, and the effect will accumulate over time.
Fifth, parent-child relationship needs communication skills. Eleven or twelve years old is the age when self-awareness begins to sprout and parents' words are no longer taken as imperial edicts. How to say that children will listen? How to listen and give feedback before children are willing to talk? It all takes skill.
For example, how to get him to tell himself what happened. Li, a math teacher, told me that Tao didn't line up seriously, and his speech was always crooked, and criticism and punishment didn't work. In fact, people report good news rather than bad news. How did he know that his mother cared about it? Once, when he was packing his schoolbag, I casually said that a copy book should be prepared in the schoolbag to prevent students from borrowing or temporarily tearing up Chinese books. The son said with a smile, this is not very good, it should be to fight for not being fined. I went on to say, oh, well, there will be no next time.
For example, today's children have more or less some wonderful feelings in Seeds of Love. How to guide them correctly to make him feel that this thing is not a bad thing, but it can't develop in the direction of puppy love. I also took great pains. I just seized the opportunity for my classmates to be together. Ask his friend. Do any girls like Zhou Dao? I remember it was Jerry who said a jingle, he was not handsome and had a strange temper. No girl likes him. I put down my heart a little, at least I don't have to guard against girls chasing him. The next thing, the whole class is an open secret Tao likes streams and streams and has been determined since the second grade. I was joking with his father. I'm still single-minded and don't bother. Recently, our mother told us that she asked Xixi what snacks she liked. It is estimated that he was careful when preparing for the autumn outing. Han Zhi didn't tell him. I said, son, why don't you have high emotional intelligence? Why not just ask Sissy? Asking a girl about another girl usually doesn't have a good result. To attract the attention of excellent girls, the most important thing is to surpass her in performance. I took the math exam last week, and I couldn't wait to call me at noon to tell me, mom, it only took me more than ten minutes to take the math exam, and I feel I can definitely take the exam 100. Ask teacher Li for me. At that time, I was wondering if my mother would get no reward if I got full marks. Why are you so anxious? Tao said that students would care. I still didn't react, and told me that I was going to ask Mr. Li for the score in the evening. Only at my husband's suggestion did I understand that he wanted to surpass Xixi in speed and score.
Compared with the fourth grade, the atmosphere in our family is relaxed and happy now. Even if we do something wrong and fail in the exam, it won't thunder. We can communicate well on the basis of trust and understanding.
There is no uniform scale on the road of education. What conforms to the objective development law is good, and what suits your children is good. I think my initial intention is to build a big forest suitable for children's growth, let children breathe freely, grow freely, guard quietly with wisdom, be a bright light and guide the direction for children.