The child is too arrogant to subdue him. I believe many mothers find that their little baby has always been arrogant. This arrogant behavior of children is closely related to family education. The child is too arrogant. He teaches you how to educate children.

The child is too arrogant to subdue him. 1 public humiliation is not appropriate.

Will he stand on the busy roadside and hold up a sign that says, "I am a bully." If you hate bullies, please honk your horn. "In fact, this is exactly what a parent from Texas did when he found out that his fourth-grade son was a negative child.

The father said that he had no choice but to let his son know his shame in this way. Because this little guy has repeatedly appeared similar evil deeds, even though he has been educated many times! So personally, he thinks it's really bad to be publicly humiliated by others.

Father was accused of being an incompetent parent and accepted the punishment. However, he claimed that the way he treated his son was effective. According to NBC, his son later apologized to the children he bullied.

Expert Dr. Justin Coulson analyzed: Although the father's punishment made the son apologize to the other party, the child may still be unable to learn from such mistakes. In fact, there are some ways to make children stop bullying without publicly humiliating them.

Discipline policy rather than severe punishment

Dr Coulson pointed out that there is evidence that parents' abuse of coercive power as a disciplinary measure is actually ineffective.

What parents should do is to educate their children, not punish them severely. Punishment is never a good teacher. All punishments are only used to scare children. Usually, when parents use this strategy, it will undoubtedly destroy the parent-child relationship and trust. It seems more difficult to teach children whatever they want in the future.

Leading by example is the key.

In the process of improving children's behavior, the most important step is that parents should not follow their children's first reaction after discovering their arrogance. Otherwise, it is equivalent to passing on the potential anger and violence to children. Therefore, experts suggest that parents might as well sit down with their children and talk calmly to let them know that their parents will not hurt, bully or punish him, but want to hear his explanation.

Cultivate and encourage compassion

Parents may wish to ask their children these questions:

What do you think children will think if they are bullied by you?

How do you think parents will feel when they find out?

What do you think is the child's mood when he thinks that he will take the school to see you again tomorrow?

Parents ask their children these questions, not to arouse the terrible guilt of the little guy, but to encourage them to think and feel from each other's standpoint, so that they can understand what he has done more directly.

Once children are aware of this emotion, it will greatly promote their future behavior management. Of course, this strategy is more suitable for relatively young children and children.

Don't give up the baby.

Your persistence can not only make children lose their pride and learn to be smart, but also contribute to the healthy growth of dolls. So, stick to it and don't tell him to give up.

The child is too arrogant to subdue him. 2. Overindulgence will make children lazy, selfish, arrogant and incompetent.

This is a true thing: on grandma's 60th birthday, her son, who has always been spoiled by his family, insisted on eating a birthday cake first. His father refused, and his son said, "You can't eat if you don't let me eat first!" " Turn the birthday cake over. Grandma cried, "I loved you 12 years." Can't you love me for a day? "

Shen Deming, a staff member of the Second Detention Center in Shijiazhuang, gave an example. /kloc-when he was 0/4 years old, the detainee Lu Mou committed the crime of killing his mother, and he was still lawless in the detention center, which became a thorn in his side. When the police visited this house, they found that Lu was regarded as the apple of his eye. Even if he scolded his mother, her mother would smile and make him happy. Six months ago, he played truant for a few days, and his mother finally found him. As a result, he was annoyed and waved at his mother with a kitchen knife.

Why have these children become so heartless? What do they lack?

Overprotection of children is also a common phenomenon in families: dozens of parents often surround the entrance of primary schools, only a few hundred meters away to pick up and drop off children; Middle school girls can't comb their hair by themselves; On the bus, parents grab seats for school-age children; The Young Pioneers decided to take a hike of 10 km. Many parents take turns to give advice to counselors after hearing the news and insist on taking the bus instead of walking. A parent said frankly: "I can't replace eating and sleeping, and I have done the rest for my children." It seems that these parents don't want their children to grow up and want to be intoxicated with the happiness of dependence forever.

Many parents have similar experiences in this respect. A father once said, "Nowadays, children are not easy to control, and he won't listen to anything you say. What's the use of just letting us respect our children? Children have no respect for their parents at all, and what we say has no effect on them. This is a problem that I am particularly distressed about. "

Experts believe that education is to help children correct their shortcomings. If parents can't restrain their children's misconduct and can't bear to say "no" to their children, such education is the education of giving up responsibility.

Seven principles of saying "no"

Children have different personalities and encounter different problems. The way parents reject and restrain their children will naturally change. However, when parents say "no" to their children, there are always some principles to follow. Guo summed up seven principles for parents' reference:

First, set rules for children before doing anything.

Constraints come from rules. If parents want to train their children to be responsible for their actions, they should formulate some rules suitable for their children's age and personality characteristics. Parents should understand their children's behavior habits and try to establish some specific rules according to their bad behaviors, such as eating, watching TV, doing homework and shopping. It is best to work out various rules with children, which is the embodiment of respecting children and making them more accurate.

Second, let children do something meaningful.

When children engage in behaviors you don't like, you should not only give them verbal warnings, but also guide them to do something more meaningful. In this way, children can gradually get rid of bad behavior and replace it with meaningful behavior. For example, when children are always addicted to TV, it will be much better if parents can find some interesting things to guide their children away from TV. For example, children can be attracted by making model planes, traveling and swimming.

Third, don't tease children.

Some parents like to tease their children. It's funny to see them in a hurry. When the child wants to go to McDonald's, the father obviously wants to meet the child's requirements, but says, "No, I won't take you!" " "The child began to cry. Looking at his son grinning and crying, dad grinned and said to his son, "OK, let's go!" " "Adult's psychology has been satisfied. However, children also understand a truth in tears: crying is useful!

Fourth, don't be a generous parent.

Some parents often try their best to meet their children's requirements because they feel guilty about their children. For example, it is particularly easy to meet children's requirements only once a week, or just come home from a business trip. After a long time and more times, children will feel that they have the right to ask their parents. In this way, children gradually form a habit, they must get what they want and keep making various demands.

5. Say "no" to your child calmly.

Parents often get dizzy with anger when they see the problems existing in their children. At this time, it is difficult for parents to control their words and deeds, and it is difficult to express their anger on their faces, words and actions. Parents may do what children want to do. Some children deliberately do some annoying behaviors in order to annoy adults. In their view, it is great to annoy adults. Therefore, parents should treat their children's words and deeds calmly. When their children are unreasonable, parents should express your feelings and demands to their children in a calm tone. In this way, children will understand from their parents' attitudes that unreasonable entanglement is useless.

Sixth, tell your child the reason for refusing.

When the child makes some demands or has some inappropriate behaviors, if you think it is impossible, you must explicitly refuse the child and tell him the reasons for refusal.

Some parents are not good at telling their children the real reason, but make up some excuses to deceive their children. For example, if a child wants to buy some toys, parents are often used to saying "it's too expensive to buy". But the reality is that playthings are not expensive. It is suggested that parents may wish to tell their children that owning many toys does not mean happiness, and some things are not worth buying. In this way, children will form a certain consumption concept and grow into a rational consumer.

Seven, say "no" and stick to it.

The hardest thing for parents is to stick to their attitude to the end. Many parents are distressed because they can't persist after saying "no" to their children. You can give your child some warnings, ignore his crying, and let the child stay calm for ten minutes somewhere ... but the fundamental principle is that parents must insist.

As for what measures to take to treat children, parents are advised to choose according to their personality characteristics. For those lively and excitable children, parents can let them leave the attractive place for a while. For example, if a child is excited at the sight of a game machine and doesn't want to leave in the game room, parents can forcibly take him to a quiet environment and let him calm down 10 minutes; If children are curious and easily attracted by new things, they can find ways to attract their attention to new things; If children are more competitive, parents can try to be provocative. For example, children are afraid of injections, and parents can say, "Look, our neighbor tiger is younger than you and is not afraid of injections. Are you inferior to him? "

Through some of the above principles, parents may be able to say "no" to their children more firmly and scientifically.

Punish children reasonably

According to the latest opinion polls, most British adults still insist on retaining the right to hit children.

Liu Fenghua said that parents should not be afraid to punish their children. Behavioral psychology believes that punishment is valuable although it makes people feel pain and disgust. Children can be punished if necessary. Education without punishment is fragile education. However, punishment is not corporal punishment. Corporal punishment is mental abuse. It is not a scientific punishment to write a wrong question 20 times and run all over the playground once it is wrong. Punishment should be a means of education. On the basis of children's voluntary choice, children should feel guilty about their mistakes and learn to be responsible for themselves.

Guo believes that children's bad behavior can be punished by withdrawing their attention. Withdrawing attention is a relatively mild punishment for "ignoring" the child's bad behavior. If children find themselves arrogant and unreasonable, they will not win the attention of their parents in this deformed way. Children's behaviors such as "people are crazy" and "showing off" are all manifestations of this psychology. Effective use of this distraction strategy should pay attention to the following points:

First, it must be used many times to be effective. We can't expect to effectively stop children's bad behavior every time we "withdraw our attention". Children may get worse before they get better, and there may be repetitions. Because "distraction" will cause children to resist, on the other hand, he may find that he can't "subdue" adults and try many times, so adults should be prepared in this regard.

Second, family members should take consistent measures. If grandparents and parents don't-cause children to be left out here and protected there, the educational effect will be extremely bad. Therefore, before the implementation of "withdrawal of care", families should form a "United front." Third, it is used in conjunction with positive reinforcement. Pay no attention to children's bad behaviors, and join care and appreciation in time when children have appropriate behaviors, so that children can understand which behaviors parents don't like and which behaviors parents like.

Fourth, it cannot be used intermittently. Intermittent use of "attention withdrawal" has actually become "intermittent reinforcement", which will not only correct the child's bad behavior, but will aggravate his importunate and unreasonable behavior.

There is also a way of punishment called natural punishment. For example, if a child is picky about food, he can taste the taste of starvation; if he doesn't dress properly, he can taste the taste of freezing; if the child is too "twisted", he will feel the troubles caused by it. However, this kind of natural punishment should not seriously harm the health of children, and it is best to use it with caution.

Strict discipline is the best communication opportunity.

Guo said that when the "fierce battle" between parents and children stopped and the child's nonsense failed, he would understand that he was "self-inflicted". At this time, children often make intimate moves towards their parents, which is the best time for parents to communicate with their children. Therefore, parents should not be afraid of conflict, or back down in case of conflict. They should regard conflict as an important thing, because it provides an opportunity to communicate with children. The effect of conversation at this time is mostly unattainable at other times.

While criticizing children, let them talk about their mistakes. When children talk about their shortcomings, parents should not reprimand them, but listen calmly and give them a chance to express their opinions. The process of children's narration is actually a good process of reflection.

After some catharsis, children often want to snuggle up in their parents' arms, and parents should welcome him with warm arms. You can tell him patiently, because he is easy to listen to his parents at this time. For older children, we should encourage them appropriately after criticism, give their parents warmth and meet the reasonable part of their demands. This is equivalent to telling the child that his parents love him and that it is not himself but his misconduct that his parents deny him.