Ways to teach children to be responsible
Method 1: Respect children's "sophistry"-feedback effect
Whenever parents point out their children's mistakes, children always find many reasons to prove their innocence. At this time, parents generally call their children's behavior "sophistry" angrily. In fact, this is not sophistry, but a kind of feedback from children to their parents' education.
Education is a two-way street. Parents should not only teach, but also accept children's feedback, so that education can achieve the most perfect effect. However, many parents are not aware of this. They just "teach" themselves and don't care about their children's information feedback. Such education often fails to achieve the purpose that parents want.
Method 2: Analyze and respect children's feedback.
When children give feedback on our education, we must first analyze this feedback. Of course, this analysis is not only aimed at children's language, but also includes children's movements and expressions.
However, it is worth parents' attention that children's feedback should be respected regardless of whether it is "sophistry". In the above-mentioned educational cases, when the children said the reason that "all the children in our class said so", the mother yelled at the children without analyzing their feedback. Is this a sign of disrespect for children's feedback? Therefore, the mother doesn't know the real reason for the child's feedback-she doesn't think "you are so stupid" is a dirty word.
It is conceivable that parents misunderstand and suppress their children's feedback. In the long run, children will never give positive feedback to their mothers' education. Without children's cooperation, parents can't educate their children.
Method 3: Educate children purposefully according to their feedback.
When analyzing the problems of children's feedback, parents can carry out purposeful education on children's feedback. For example, if children don't know the importance of politeness when giving feedback, parents will never do it again. They can tell their children the importance of being polite through examples and reasons, and guide them to be polite children. If the child's feedback is that he doesn't want to know the responsibility caused by his recent wrong words and deeds, parents should isolate the child and let him become a person who knows his mistakes and corrects them, and dare to do something. ...
In short, no matter what feedback children have on their parents' education, respecting and analyzing children's feedback is the primary prerequisite for achieving educational goals.
Method 4: Family education should not be inconsistent-Watch Theorem
Psychologists have done an experiment: give a person a watch, and when someone asks him the time, he can tell it quickly and confidently; However, when the man got two different watches, the watchmaker could not know the time quickly. Because two watches can't tell a person a more accurate time, on the contrary, it will make people who look at the watch lose confidence in the accurate time. Psychologists call this phenomenon "watch phenomenon", and draw a conclusion that there can only be one guiding principle or value orientation in doing things. Later, people called this conclusion "Watch Theorem".
Suggestions on educating children to be responsible.
Sign a liability contract
Children often do things out of interest. To make children responsible for one thing to the end, we must clearly tell them the requirements of doing things, that is, let them know what to do and how to do it, otherwise they will be punished.
Responsible and proud of it.
There is a 10-year-old girl who has been responsible for taking out the garbage at home for five years. At the age of five, she suddenly became interested in taking out the garbage. As soon as she heard the garbage collector, she took the trash can to take out the garbage. In order to support her interest in housework, her parents praised her and often praised her in front of outsiders. In this way, children's pride in taking out the garbage is aroused, and they gradually form a habit, and regard this kind of labor as a responsibility.
Take control of your own business.
When asking children to remember to do something, instead of asking adults to remind them often, let them write down what they want to do, so that children will gradually learn to be responsible for their actions. Only when children understand this, can they gradually be responsible for the family, others, the collective and society.
Make up for mistakes
If children damage other people's toys, they must buy them back and return them to others. Perhaps the other party will think that it is common for children to damage toys without compensation, but at this time, parents should insist that their children compensate each other and let them know that they should be responsible for the adverse consequences they have caused. At the same time, parents should also set a good example for their children, so that they can have the prestige to ask their children to be responsible and give them something to emulate.
Inspire and inspire children with celebrity allusions.
Use the influence of peers to educate children to enhance their sense of responsibility.
The reason why children have no responsibility.
0 1, parental control will affect life.
If you think that children who are habitually controlled by their parents will change themselves when they grow up, then I can tell you responsibly: this is very, very difficult!
Every time I come back from the supermarket, my mother will definitely ask, "What did you buy and how much did it cost?" I didn't answer, so my mother went through the shopping bag to check the price of the small ticket.
After checking, she will say, "This is so expensive, why buy it?" ? That's useless, a waste of money! "
Then I will begin to doubt my judgment and aesthetics and re-evaluate my life. And finally come to the idea of "well, I am a useless person."
Children who grow up under the control of their parents, even if they have their own children, are weak, just like they have never grown up and have no confidence to raise their children well. The task of taking care of children is naturally taken over by the elders.
Everything I do is wrong, and I often feel very painful.
02, excessive arrangement is control.
A mother with a girlfriend gave birth to a child at the age of 4 1. As the only male in the family, any child who has received much attention since childhood is loved by thousands of people. I won't describe the details one by one. Let's talk about her brother's current situation first.
He is now 25 years old and only does three things every day, eating, sleeping and playing games. The most common sentence every day is: "Mom, what should I eat?"
He doesn't work at all, doesn't want to go out, and he doesn't socialize except his teammates who play games.
He is like a pet kept at home, losing all the basic skills of survival. I can't even imagine what his life will be like when his parents are too old to move or even leave.
This is the "love" of parents, and it is this kind of "love" that cuts off the wings flying far away and keeps the children with their parents. Of course, I also want to ask, is this what parents want
Let me say objectively: this friend's younger brother was almost ruined in his life. I once thought that maybe as long as he is alive, it is the greatest comfort to his parents. Parents probably think: we will always support you,
But what about his own life?
But what's wrong with the sentence "I expect my son to succeed and my daughter to succeed"?
03. "Autism" comes from too much control.
There was a colleague in my previous company named Xiao D. When he first went to the company, he opened the door first every day, cleaned the boss's office, and then sat down to play games. At first I thought he was a relative of the boss, so I was so fearless.
Only after listening to colleagues' gossip did I know that little D was autistic and had difficulty communicating. He has been living with his mother since his parents divorced.
The boss rented a house managed by little D's mother and accepted little D into the company out of kindness. On the surface, he was given a job, but in fact he was doing some basic work of "sweeping monk".
Every month, Little D's mother will give her boss 300 yuan, and then send it to Little D as a "salary" through her boss's hand. After listening to this, I felt very moved and lamented the greatness of maternal love in this world. Improper love, the deeper you love, the more you hurt.
There was a unit dinner, and we called Xiao D together. Little d was very happy at first, talking and laughing, but when he turned around and answered a phone call, his face changed when he came back.
He faltered and said to us, "I won't eat." My mother wants me to go back. She doesn't seem to have a key. I have to send her the key. " Little d turned and left, and everyone seemed to find something.
In fact, ordinary little D is no different from ordinary people except that he has little communication with others, doesn't look at others' eyes when he speaks, and evades his expression. In particular, he will talk about topics he is interested in, such as games, and he will be very happy.
But when he talks about his mother, he will be silent for an instant and fall into an autistic state. Perhaps, little D is not really autistic, but maternal love suffocates him.
04. Control is the worst education.
Since I started working in education, I often look back at my growth path.
I deeply feel that the child is the meat that fell from me, and I am always worried about him. Worried that he was hungry, tired, sick and fell down, worried that he could be treated gently by the world without his own company.
A psychology teacher once said, "worrying too much about a child is tantamount to cursing him to death." This is no exaggeration.
Behind the autistic little D is a mother who has to interfere with who she eats with.
My friend's brother, who was spoiled, didn't find a job at the age of 25, because the food, clothing, housing and transportation had been arranged at home.
Like frogs boiled in warm water, they gradually lose the function of life, are gradually exhausted by this life, and finally die slowly.
1. Ceng Shiqiang's methods of educating children.
2. Experience of how parents educate their children
3. Experience in educating children.
4. What is the correct way for teachers to educate their children?
5. How to educate children to be positive?