On the one hand, it shows that the child has mature thinking ability, unique views on some things and strong handling ability; On the other hand, it also shows that adults should treat this child equally as much as possible, that is, at some point, they should give him some right to speak.

In the parent-child relationship, the right to speak is always in the hands of parents. Even many parents are very afraid of giving their children the right to speak, thinking that it will damage their dignity as parents and encourage their children's bad habits.

Colleague Lao Liu is like this. He has always believed that children should not have the right to speak, just obey orders. In his view, if the right to speak is given to children, it is equivalent to disaster, because children will always give ideas, so they will definitely screw things up.

In ordinary life, Lao Liu does the same to his son. Father and son get along, only he speaks and his son listens. Sometimes when a son says a word or two, he will be scolded by Lao Liu and even ask his son if he wants to rebel.

A father like Lao Liu is probably not uncommon in life. Perhaps it is because of the deep influence of traditional culture, and being too autocratic is a common fault of China's parents.

However, treating children in this way is actually very unfavorable to their growth, because they always don't think about themselves and are forced to accept orders, which often leads to the lack of children's ability, especially their independent ability.

On the other hand, it will also lead to the lack of children's sense of responsibility, because opinions are all from others, and problems naturally have nothing to do with them. In addition, the lack of the right to speak will also make children feel inferior and cowardly, which means that it is difficult for them to succeed in society as adults.

Therefore, it is the correct operation to give the right to speak to children properly, which will be more conducive to the growth of children.

However, when to pay, how to pay and how much to pay are also issues that parents need to pay attention to. If there is a mistake, it will not only fail to achieve the expected results, but will be more harmful than not giving the right to speak.

? How to pass the right to speak to children correctly? ① Delivery time

To give children the right to speak, we must pay attention to the timing. Because the child is not mature enough after all, it is impossible for parents to ask his advice for everything. Otherwise, it will not only bring disaster, but also make children develop an arrogant character.

The best time to deliver the right to speak should be when talking about things that are closely related to children and that children can make their own decisions. At this time, giving children the right to speak will not only make them more willing to express themselves, but also get quality and meaningful opinions.

② mode of delivery

The mode of transmission of the right to speak is also very important. Parents should not be too modest or too casual. Instead, we should ask the child's opinion in a gentle tone on the topic and say that he can have his own opinion on this matter, but there is no guarantee that his opinion will be put into practice.

Make all these clear, and you can safely give your children a part of the right to speak on the premise of ensuring that the dignity of parents is not damaged.

③ degree of delivery

Giving children the right to speak does not mean letting them do whatever they want. In fact, no matter what happens, the final decision should still fall on their parents, so as to protect their dignity to the greatest extent.

In other words, each delivery can only be given to an appropriate extent. Once the child crosses the line, for example, when he claims that "it must be done according to his own requirements", parents should take back the right to speak in time and warn the child not to be arbitrary.

Only moderate transmission can ensure that children have the right to speak without losing discipline.

After the right to speak is delivered, children will express their views. At this time, parents should listen carefully. Since children are given the right to speak, they should be taken seriously. Otherwise, what is the significance of the delivery of the right to speak?

Listening to the right to speak is equally important. In the book "P.E.T Parents' Effectiveness Training", the importance of parents' "active listening" is particularly mentioned. The author believes that in the process of communicating with children, parents should let go of their thoughts and emotions and actively listen to and understand their children's thoughts and emotions, instead of making judgments beforehand and not making suggestions afterwards, so that children can fully express their thoughts and feelings. Only in this way can parents truly be responsible for their children.

According to the viewpoint of this book, it is not difficult to see that listening after the delivery of the right to speak is equally important. Only by knowing how to listen, the delivery of the right to speak will be more meaningful, the child's thoughts will be truly expressed, and his demands will be truly realized.

Let children fully express their views.

After handing over the right to speak, parents should guide their children to fully express their views. In this process, no matter how naive and unreasonable the child is, parents should not interrupt, let alone forcibly stop, but should wait patiently for the child to finish with a peaceful mind.

Only by listening patiently can children's right to speak become more meaningful.

Do not judge beforehand, and do not make suggestions afterwards.

Parents should not judge their children in advance before they say what they think, otherwise it will affect their free expression. Because children's thinking is not mature enough, they are easily biased by their parents.

Parents should not give advice after the child speaks his mind. They can only say yes or no, and they can also give specific reasons accordingly. Only in this way can children think and analyze their own ideas better, instead of being taken away by their parents' more mature suggestions.

The right to speak and the right to listen are inseparable. Once parents decide to give their children the right to speak, they must pay attention to listening in the following process. Only in this way can children fully feel that they are respected and become more confident.

Through this kind of exercise, children will become more assertive, and parents can give him the right to speak in more matters, thus forming a virtuous circle.

Therefore, giving children the right to speak can completely train their thinking without damaging their parents' dignity. Over time, their thinking will be more mature and their growth will be smoother.