When Xiao Wu's mother was young, she felt particularly insecure because she had been suppressed by her parents for a long time. Later, when she grew up, she gradually stepped out of the shadows through her own efforts and became more and more confident.
However, every time I think of my childhood, Xiao Wu's mother will be particularly sad and feel that this depressed parenting method cannot be used on children. Therefore, Xiao Wu's mother especially likes to praise and affirm her children. She thinks that children should praise more and praise more.
With the praise of his mother, Xiao Wu became more and more confident, but at the same time he became a little arrogant. He thought he was the best, ignored others and often bossed his parents around. Not only that, Xiao Wu's mother gradually found that her praise effect was getting worse and worse. For example, she wants her children to do the dishes, but even if she praises them, they just don't want to do it.
In fact, appreciation education is not just praise. Appreciation education refers to affirming what children do. Because he did a good job, I am sure of him and hope that he can keep it, instead of simply praising the child.
What are the benefits of appreciation education for children? 1 can effectively stimulate children's internal drive.
Internal drive is the source of motivation for learning. When a child has internal drive, parents don't have to worry too much about his study and life, so he can move on his own and take the initiative to think about what kind of life he needs and what kind of grades he wants to take. And parents' appreciation education can stimulate children's internal drive and make them more confident.
2, can help children find their way.
When a child is doing a lot of things, he is in the exploratory stage and doesn't know if he is doing it right. Parents' appreciation education can make children know their own specific situation more clearly.
For example, when a child tries to draw for the first time, he doesn't know whether his painting is good or not, but his parents find that the child's painting is very talented. Affirming children in time can make them more confident and help them find their own direction.
What effect does falling into the misunderstanding of praise have on children? 1, become arrogant
Timely praise has many advantages, but blind praise will only make children become arrogant. Because children will feel that they are really smarter than anyone, as their parents boast. In fact, this is only caused by excessive praise from parents.
2, the ability to resist setbacks weakened.
Some experts did an experiment. They divided some children under six into two parts. As long as some children do something right, let adults constantly praise themselves for their cleverness, while others let adults praise their efforts.
When faced with a more difficult thing, experts find that children who are praised for their intelligence become unwilling to accept challenges, while children who are praised for their hard work are braver.
This is because children who are praised for their cleverness learn to measure. If he is likely to fail in this matter, people will think that he is not clever. In order to avoid this situation, children will learn to avoid difficulties and their ability to resist setbacks will gradually weaken, all because of their parents' wrong praise methods.
How should parents grasp the scale of appreciation education? 1, learn to appreciate children's behavior.
Appreciation education is not blind praise, it needs parents to praise and appreciate their children in a way and with a purpose. When parents praise their children, remember not to praise their children's cleverness, not to mention that it is wrong, because it is easy to form a fixed thinking that children will feel smart and don't need to work hard.
Therefore, parents should know how to praise their children's behavior, affirm their efforts, and have some other good qualities. Parents should understand that one of the meanings of praising children and praising their behaviors is actually to guide children to continue to maintain such behaviors.
We should affirm children's behavior in time.
Timely affirmation seems simple, but many parents are easy to ignore it, because most parents are usually busy and have no time to take care of their children's affairs.
Then sometimes when children do something right and are eager to be praised, parents may ignore it. In fact, affirming the child's words at this time is the best time to shape him. Therefore, parents should pay attention to this timeliness, usually observe children more, pay attention to some changes of children, and affirm children in time.
3. Peer criticism and appreciation
Appreciation education is not equal to complete appreciation. When grasping the degree of appreciation education, we should also remember that children who do something wrong will be criticized and corrected. Only by criticizing and appreciating peers can children not become arrogant and afraid of failure. If parents are using appreciation education, remember not to praise their children blindly, but to master the degree of appreciation education.