First, the online classroom makes parents anxious.

Online classes make parents feel anxious, not because children spend more time with their parents, but because of the following contradictions:

Therefore, parents need to have a clear understanding of their children's self-management level.

Second, two adaptability problems.

1, parents' evaluation of children's self-management level, with the lowest score of 0 and the highest score of 10.

2. The parent-child relationship is good or bad, with the lowest score of 0 and the highest score of 10.

Parents and children can score separately. If the score gap between parents and children is too big, we can discuss the reasons together.

Which student in the picture above has more room for family-parent interaction during online classes?

Third, the construction of family life during the online classroom (relatively easy, parents are encouraged to do it)

(1) Arrange three meals a day.

Daily care reflects whether parents love their children. Parents are advised to arrange three meals a day for their children.

(B) Decorate the classroom environment

The environment has a great influence on children. Without the positive hints and constraints of the environment, children's behavior will be very casual. It is suggested that it is best to find a quiet place and separate from the dormitory, but it is really impossible to arrange an environment suitable for class in the corner of the dormitory.

(3) Parents of children in lower grades should accompany them as much as possible.

For junior children, online classes are best accompanied by parents. The way to accompany you is to sit next to your child and work or read a book without brushing your mobile phone.

(four) to formulate and abide by the daily schedule.

Parents and children are advised to make clear the schedule of work and rest, and parents and children should fully communicate so that children can know what to do in advance.

(5) Talk to your child about topics that have nothing to do with study, but are of interest to TA.

During the online class, it was boring. Although children can chat online, offline interpersonal communication is also very important for the development of teenagers.

(6) Arrange activities to leave home at least once a week, so that children can feel the rhythm and life different from online classes.

Different from the school's 5+2, if such activities are not arranged during the online class, the children's feelings are 7*N, so it is recommended not to arrange other make-up classes on weekends.

(7) Observe and pay attention to children's emotional state.

In the online classroom, children are also under great learning pressure. There is little interpersonal interaction offline, and negative emotions cannot be vented in time. Parents should be the guides of children's emotions.

Verb (abbreviation for verb) Life and study habits during online courses.

(1) The teacher gave feedback that the child did not enter the online classroom, or that the child did not finish his homework on time and with good quality.

1, contact the child in time, ask the reason, express concern, but not including criticism, try not to lose your temper.

Pay attention to the difference between us as parents and teachers. Parents don't need to fully agree with the teacher's feedback, and their children's learning ability may not meet the teacher's requirements. Parents should leave some space according to their children's conditions, help their children adapt to it for a longer time, and help them make adjustments in their study habits.

(2) I feel that children will inexplicably lose their face and lose their temper with their parents.

1. Try to discuss Ta's feelings with your child to see if there are other more complicated emotions (such as sadness, depression, disappointment with yourself, etc.). What needs is your child expressing behind the seemingly "angry" and "angry" behavior? Then see what support you can provide for the improvement of your child's mood.

Parents should be the "buffer zone" of children's emotions, not the "amplifier" of children's emotions. Some parents feel that they are also very upset, very upset and very difficult. But we are adults, we have rich knowledge and experience, and have strong emotional management ability. When we face children's emotional problems, we should learn to "make way for the strong". Parents should find their own supporters, not children, but spouses or friends or professionals.

(C) found that children are not focused in class.

1, it is inevitable to understand the particularity of online classes.

2, first observe, if it is only a short time, we will pretend that nothing happened; If the child is distracted for a long time, you can gently remind him in a non-verbal way (such as coughing, walking towards Ta, etc.). ) and find another suitable opportunity to further communicate with children.

(d) Children are more accustomed to sitting and lying down and don't want to move.

According to the actual situation of children's daily exercise, exercise ability and exercise level, in addition to attending physical education class at school, discuss a "just move" micro-exercise program suitable for TA with children according to simple principles. Give positive feedback whenever you move, no matter how small your behavior is.

Sixth, related to electronic products.

(a) Children don't get up on time

Adolescent children often don't go to bed on time, but they don't sleep according to the schedule, mostly because of electronic products.

(2) Handle the relationship between children and electronic products.

1. Did you and your children reach a basic agreement on how to use electronic products before 10?

(1) 10 years old is a node. Many children begin to enter adolescence at 10 years old, and the authority of parents can still play an important communication role before 10 years old. If you don't work out the rules of electronic products with your children before 10, then children after 10 may have problems when using electronic products, and there is only one solution: communication.

(3) Think about the score of your relationship with your child in the adaptability test. In short, if the relationship is good, there will be more things to talk about.

2. Has the online class been cancelled? What do children often do with electronic products?

(1) You can accept what children do with electronic products and see what children do with electronic products and the gap between them.

(2) If children use electronic products to do many other things, parents can analyze them from the perspective of children's needs, such as socializing. Especially adolescent girls, love to spend a lot of time chatting with electronic products. To understand her needs, they should replace electronic products with richer ways to solve her social needs.

3. What is the reason why you and your children often have conflicts because of electronic products?

Before online classes, families need to communicate formally about the use of electronic products, that is, negotiate. Introduce the book "Parent-child Consultation".

4. Parent-child negotiation process

Prerequisite: distinguish between behavior habits and relationships. This is a problem of behavior habits, that is, children will change if they concentrate on class. The relationship problem is more complicated and involves more people. ?

(1) evaluation: severity, difficulty, chip

Severity: There have been several conflicts on this issue, and this one is even bigger. The child's studies are heavy, and he feels that this is not appropriate and he is very anxious.

Difficulty: mom thinks it is a bit difficult to change the difficulty; Dad thinks it's not difficult. Children study well, but they just need their parents to urge them to provide a better environment.

Chip: Chip means there are several options for children to choose from. Dad proposed a compromise, one is to go to the living room for class without revealing the screen, the other is to go to the bedroom for class and uninstall social software; Mother suggested that we chat at a fixed time and leave some time for our children to chat every night.

(2) Decision-making: Determine the goal and sign it.

Determine the goal: you can't chat on different screens with software during class hours. What can children do to prevent things from happening? For example, if you don't log in to class, you will be punished if you don't comply, and you will sign a paper agreement.

(3) implementation: urge children to implement.

5. Five points for attention in parent-child negotiation

(1) Solve problems clearly, one at a time.

(2) Negotiation is a better way.

(3) Parents should leave room for their children in the negotiation process.

(4) Allow children to bargain and make a written record.

(5) Be sure to implement the action.

6. Reasons for the failure of negotiations

(1) In specific guidance, the most feedback is the failure of implementation. The most important reasons are: first, failure to abide by the agreement, discounted rewards and punishments; The second child can't be done at once, and it must be repeated.

(2) What should parents do in the process of repetition? Gentle persistence, tenderness is very important, and persistence is also very important.

(3) Parents often lose their temper, which is useless for adolescent children!

Tenderness: Teenagers know from their own experiences that losing their temper is just a strategy, but there is nothing they can do inside. When they know that losing their temper is the most helpless thing for Ta, they feel that their parents are quite useless, but gentleness is more powerful and everything is under control.

Persistence: Parents are not responsible for their children's responsible behavior. This persistence provides children with a sense of security. Parents' control in adolescence still provides children with behavioral boundaries, giving them a sense of security and the courage to try and make mistakes.

7. Parents try to explore micro-habit formulas related to electronic products with their children.

Seven, crisis risk control (related to the value of life)

How can parents avoid becoming "trigger-pullers" in fierce parent-child conflicts? In case of conflict, parents must do the following:

(a) Awareness of "flare behavior"

When there is no conflict between you and your child, think about what you said and did to each other in the conflict, that is, "flare behavior." Parents can tell their children in advance why they are sensitive to certain words or behaviors. Colleagues prefer parents to be aware of their children. For example, parents derive nagging about their children's history and future through certain behaviors, which makes them very disgusted.

(2) Create steps for children.

Teenagers' ideals, self-centeredness and absolute cognition, if parents don't give their children a step, it is difficult for them to find their own step. Parents should give priority to whispering.

(3) Parents should learn to lose.

If the conflict must be divided into winners and losers, it must be the parents who lose, only the parents who lose. It is very painful for parents to win. If children are often losers, there are two outcomes. One is that children choose extreme ways to identify with the loser role confirmed by their parents, and the other is that children will continue to tell themselves and their parents that I am a loser in the next life.

Seven, tactical summary

(a) Communication methods

1. Listen: Speak less and listen more, and create opportunities to tell children what they are interested in.

2. Expression: When criticizing children, say this here and now, don't pester history, don't imagine the future, don't involve other issues, distinguish between people and things, and don't engage in personal attacks. When the conflict involves the feedback from the third party, such as the teacher, we should pay attention to distinguish the roles of the teacher and the parents, evaluate the existing psychological pressure of the child, act as the emotional buffer of the child, rather than the emotional amplifier, and analyze the needs behind the child's emotions.

3, negotiations: not condescending, three links and five attention.

(B) Behavior design (pay attention to behavior and provide behavior methods)

1. The micro-habit formula is established by anchoring time, and the combat habit is divided into micro-habits.

2. Feedback the subtle changes of children in time.

Eight. Strategic principle

1. Stand in the right position.

2. Pay attention to your state, take good care of your body and mind, and keep your mood stable.

3. Only when you understand first can you understand and have the right love.

Most importantly, relationship is greater than education (especially the golden rule of adolescent education).

Question session:

1, the lecture mentioned: If conflict is inevitable, parents must give up; Parents have concerns: If parents always give up, will children behave unreasonably?

The scene is that under the premise of a fierce conflict, parents should learn to admit defeat. In daily and ordinary conflicts, a very important method: gentle persistence.

2. Junior students are not familiar with online courses. Is there anything that can be done early, which is helpful for online classes in the future?

Try to arrange the daily routine in the school, tell the children in clear language, explain it to them, and help them understand that although they are at home, it is best to have an independent online classroom environment just like at school.

3. Do you have anything to tell the children who already have experience in online classes?

We can't ignore it, we need the supervision of parents, we need to inform the links that are prone to problems in advance, supervise the process, and criticize artistically if there are violations afterwards.

4. What advice do you have for the graduating class?

According to the type of child. For children with high self-discipline, parents should decompress and take care of their children's lives; There is a gap between behavior habits and academic achievements and academic goals, which should be discussed by parent-child consultation.

5. Both parents are dual employees. What if they don't have time to participate in their children's online classes too much?

Many methods discussed today affect the results through the process. If parents can't do it, they need to work harder, use the results to reverse the process, pay great attention to the feedback from teachers in the group, and check the quality of children's homework through spot checks.