I always think that family education is the ability education to practice how to get happiness. Because at home, not only you, but also others. How to achieve emotional self-control when something happens and cultivate yourself into a warm force at home and a sunny day in the eyes of others is the meaning of family education.
First of all, family education is not only aimed at children, but at the education of every member of the family, but the emphasis and object of each stage are different.
Family Education 1: How to Treat Newborns
Newborn children and small people who can't take care of themselves naturally need the attention of the whole family. But if you do, it's easy for adults to forget their original intention. The upbringing of children can not only satisfy their various desires and achieve their "overbearing" posture all the way, but also educate or accompany them to study and practice the transition from how to integrate into family life to social life. Remember, it is to let him adapt to the family, not the family to cooperate with him, adapt to him and run around him. He was never the center of the universe. At home, everyone has his own responsibilities and obligations, or everyone should learn to contribute to this family. Therefore, don't always excuse his inappropriate thoughts and behaviors on the grounds that he is still young, and help him complete all the hard work. When children grow up, they will leave. It can be said that the most basic function of family education is to help him get ready to leave his family, better integrate into society and form his own family.
Greedy children, like me, have been constantly educated since childhood: you should not take other people's things, take other people's things or benefits, you should be grateful, because it is the kindness of others and you don't deserve it. When I grow up, I have a habit of saving some small gifts. When I see someone who is grateful, I will take the initiative to give it. I also prefer to help others in my life. I choose to be a useful person because I can continue to give them.
And useful people, life is never too bad.
Family education II: How to treat growth
The process of growing up is actually a process of constantly trying to break the rules. That requires children to have rules in their minds first. The deeper their independent thinking ability, the more they will have the idea and ability to break the old rules (single standard). Finally, I can challenge the problems in real life with complex thinking ability.
The most impressive rule is the table manners at home.
Once the children can walk to eat by themselves, there will be a place for you at home. Rain or shine, you must sit down and eat, and you must never be absent.
The rules are as follows: 1, children can't eat first, and they can't start until the adults arrive; You can't toss and turn to find what you like to eat. You should learn to observe first, and then take chopsticks, because no one likes to eat your saliva, and food is not your only food; 3. Everyone has to hold chopsticks in his right hand, which makes me a left-handed person particularly annoying, but I also want to change my preferences and avoid "fighting" with my left and right hands when eating with others for my own reasons; 4. Don't talk while eating, quietly taste the taste of food, eat seriously, and experience the hard work of the cook. If you have something to say, it's not too late to say it after brewing; 5, grasp the rhythm of eating, try to eat with the whole family, and help clean up the dishes and clean up your own residue.
Don't underestimate this table manners, it is the best place to exercise children.
It is also from this law that I understand the difference between myself and others and the possible influence between myself and others, and learn how to control my emotions.
Children are actually quite emotional, because it is a powerful means to intimidate adults into submission. But since I have table manners, I have learned it well. No one will follow my temper and chase me around the house. Nobody cares about my little embarrassment anymore. When it's time to eat, everyone should put down what they are doing (including embarrassment) and sit in their seats. You can skip meals, but you can't help showing up at the dinner table. Everyone is waiting for you. You can't influence the atmosphere of others' eating. When everyone is eating happily, you are embarrassed, and no one responds to your embarrassment. Over time, you will learn to control your emotions, because you will understand that you can't get any benefits except your own discomfort. When I grow up, I know how to lose face and don't want to do anything rude again. Everyone is teaching you the rules: there are some things at home that can't be shaken by thunder. Only by learning to eat well and speak well can we live comfortably. No one needs to accommodate you. When something happens, try to solve it instead of losing your temper.
I am very grateful to my parents for instilling good behavior and thoughts in me since I was a child. At that time, I was obedient, and I was the only one who took the words of adults as imperial edict. At that time, I began to be self-disciplined.
Now I eat with chopsticks in my left hand again. Because I already know how to make myself comfortable without interfering with others' comfort.
Family Education III: How to Treat Aging
Every family is an unusual experience. There is a couple at home, and there may be an old man and a child. If such a combination wants to live a comfortable life, it is essential to treat the aging education. Because everyone from birth to death, the way to live is how to die peacefully. Attaching importance to the old is like attaching importance to the new, which can be said to be the law of how a family can live happily for a long time.
Some people say that the long-lived disabled elderly are the root of family collapse and helplessness. This is a realistic problem that no one can escape.
From a rational point of view, anyone's disability and longevity will bring life and psychological burden to their relatives around them, but isn't life like this? Happiness depends on misfortune, pain and happiness. None of us can escape the problem of physical disability caused by old age. Moreover, in today's era, longevity is not a rare thing. When parents or grandparents are disabled, children and grandchildren will really feel collapsed and helpless, but taking care of the elderly is also a practice of family education. How you treat your old parents, how your children will probably treat your old age. A family inherits not only genes, but also life lessons for people who are destined to grow old in this life. This also requires everyone to be kind to others and love their children, because when they are old and disabled, the people who take care of you will remember your love and care. Full emotions can reduce the burden of reality, and may become the driving force for young people to cherish the present and work hard.
A life full of collapse and helplessness may be the normal life of adults. Accepting unpleasant moments and striving to create profound pleasure may be a wonderful life in others' mouths.
You are you, others are others. In a family, whatever you do, you and others will feel more comfortable, and try to stay calm in eventful days. Perhaps, it comes from the family education in childhood, self-denial, and children who think about how to integrate into their own fun when they are young can't survive.
You know: life is either gaining or learning.
As Mr. Jiang Yang wrote: Our family is simple, and so are the three of us. We have nothing to do with the world and others, but to get together, stay together and do what we can. When I encounter difficulties, Zhong Shu always bears them with me, and the difficulties are no longer difficult. There is also an aunt to help me, no matter how hard it is, it can become sweet. If we are a little happy, we will become very happy. So the three of us met in an unusual way.
Yes, every family is an unusual encounter. I hope every family can create a warm and reliable family like Mr. Jiang Yang.