The method of correctly educating children in ancient times;
First, the ancients regarded educating their children as an important task in their lives.
The ancient family was not only a unit of life, but also a unit of production and education. The ancients attached great importance to the relationship between family planning and governing the country.
"Book of Rites University" wrote: "Those who want to be famous in ancient times should rule their country first; If you want to govern your country, you should first get your family together; If you want to reunite with your family, you must first repair your body. " In other words, the ancients believed that "after physical training, the family will be in harmony, and then the family will govern the country, and the country will level the world." Because "the foundation of the world is in the country, the foundation of the country is at home, and the foundation of the home is in the body."
This fully illustrates the relationship between individuals, families and countries. Governing the country should start with managing the family, and managing the family should start with teaching children. Starting from the purpose of "ruling the country with the family", the ancients regarded family education as "the foundation of building a country" and attached great importance to its role.
The ancients regarded educating children as an important duty of parents, and adopting children must be taught. If you adopt a child and don't teach it, you will not only harm yourself, but also others and the country. Cheng Yi in the Song Dynasty said: "The joy of life is nothing more than reading; Most importantly, there is nothing like a godson. " Fang Xiaoru in the Ming Dynasty also said: "If you love your son but don't teach him, you still don't love him;" It is better to be a good person than to teach. "This view of the ancients also has great practical significance in today's society.
Second, the ancient family education focused on determination education.
"People are not determined, nor are they people." When educating their children, the ancients paid great attention to establishing lofty aspirations and being an upright person. Yan Zi pushed: "Those who are willing to be good will certainly be able to hone their careers, and those who are slow without standing will be mortal." The ancients not only thought ambition was important, but also put forward what kind of "ambition" was the best.
Yang Jisheng in the Ming Dynasty said, "People should have determination ... You are determined to be a gentleman when you get angry. Whether you are an official or not, everyone respects you, so I want you to stand up first. " It can be seen that the ancients did not all value being an official, but first emphasized understanding and being an upright gentleman.
This view of linking "determination" with "being a man" is also valuable today. We often hear parents tell their children how to be a "home", "parent" and "teacher" in the future.
Of course, society needs all kinds of "family members", "teachers" or "leaders", but to build a peaceful and stable society, people with lofty ideals, upright people and understanding people are needed. In ancient China, there were many modern people. If we study them with great concentration, we will find that this is directly related to the ancients' understanding of the value of life and moral education, and their emphasis on "being a man before doing things".
Third, the ancients taught their children to pay attention to simple and honest education.
Diligence and thrift, cherishing a cloth and a meal, are part of moral enlightenment education in life. Ancient family education in China also advocated thrift, arguing that "it is difficult to take care of human nature from frugality to extravagance and from extravagance to frugality."
It is easy for people to go from simplicity to luxury, and it is difficult to return from luxury to simplicity. Many ancient people in history have left family instructions. They are not too poor to talk about simplicity, but clearly know that many things "become frugal and lose to luxury" and regard simplicity as a virtue in life.
These truths are neither profound nor new, but now many parents seem to know very little. Now some people are saying, "If money is not spent on such a child, who will spend it?" Parents who suffer and don't have much money also think so: "We suffered enough when we were young, so it's not too much for our children to waste more." It is precisely because of this idea to guide their family education practice that many family education failed.
In this way, teenage pupils will lose their temper and tear 100 into * * *; The "pride" of colleges and universities buy more rice as a "rag" for washing dishes. Educated ancients all know that "a porridge and a meal are hard to come by;" Half a silk and half a wisp, constantly thinking about material difficulties. "
In addition, many people have lost the traditional virtue of thrift and regard it as an "important responsibility" that children often enjoy. In fact, if this continues, when children grow up, their psychological quality, endurance and willpower will often be poor, and the hardships of life will be behind.
Ancient family education not only advocated thrift, but also paid attention to the education of integrity and honesty, emphasizing "innocent heirloom". According to Han Shuguang's biography, Shuguang brought back many gold gifts from emperors and generals when he retired in his later years. He uses the money to entertain relatives and friends in the village every day. When the money was almost spent, the descendants of Shuguang privately asked Shuguang to leave some money to buy some land for future generations.
Hearing this, Shu Guang said, it's not that I don't care about future generations. I think if they can work hard, the original land at home can maintain the living standard of ordinary people. Now, if you give them more money, won't you teach them to be lazy?
There is a couplet next to the words of Lin Zexu's "The First Man in the World": "Children and grandchildren are like me, what do they do with money?" If you are virtuous and have more money, you will lose your ambition; My children and grandchildren are not as good as me. What did you leave the money for? Foolish and rich, benefit to increase it. "These examples tell us that if we really think about the long-term interests of future generations, we must treat them with righteousness and treat them with righteousness, and we cannot leave them alone.
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