The result of education is not how much you do, but how much the other party gets. Children's thinking mode and logic are different from those of adults, and the gap is not much smaller than that of people and cows. If you want to educate children, you must use languages and methods that they can understand and accept, not just what you think is right. I don't listen to criticism, not because there is too little criticism, but because there is too little criticism. If a person is always denied, it is easy to lose confidence. How can you stand criticism without the support of self-confidence?

If you criticize a confident child, he thinks he can stick to it as long as I adjust it. If you have no confidence and feel that you can't do well, and you keep criticizing him, he will definitely choose to give up. The so-called frustration education is essentially to improve children's ability to resist stress, so what is the strength to resist stress? I am confident, but despite my failure, I still firmly believe that "I can succeed". Therefore, the real frustration education is to tell children "you can" instead of always saying "you can't".

As for the child's excessive performance, it is the outbreak of negative emotions he has accumulated for a long time. If decades of life experience make you unable to control your emotions, how can you ask a child to do it? Many times a child apologizes to you, not because he really feels that he has done something wrong, but because he just doesn't want to lose your love. He would rather wronged himself than take care of your emotions. Although you can't understand this emotion, it is true for children. You described the child's behavior in detail, but do you know the psychology behind the child's behavior? The most important thing in education is not to change behavior, but to change thinking. Behavior is a natural product of changes in thinking. You only see what children do. Do you know what he thinks? If you don't know what he thinks, how can you change him?

Education is not to fill a bucket of water, but to light a fire. Focusing too much on pouring water into the bucket will inadvertently put out the fire in the child's heart. He does what you want him to do, not what he wants to do. This will bring two possible results. One is that his self-awareness gradually disappears, his life has no goal, he is used to everything being arranged and easy to obey, but this is only superficial obedience, and he will not try his best, let alone devote himself wholeheartedly to everything.